What If He Never Came Back?
by Babybee61
Summary: Bella done cliff diving. Alice came to see her, but Edward never found out, what would happen if Edward never came back? See what happens when Edward comes back into her life 2 years after her 18th birthday, whether she likes it or not. AU.
1. Chapter 1

_**2 years earlier**_

"I'm really going to miss you Alice. I don't know how I'm going to be without you," I whispered into my best friend's ear which was icy cold, as Alice Cullen was not a human, she was a vampire. Her 'brother', was also a vampire. He left me 6 months ago after his 'brother' Jasper, and Alice's Partner, nearly killed me. Alice had seen me jump off a cliff, thinking I was dead she rushed to Forks, only to find, I was alive. She had stayed with me for the rest of Spring break and March. And today was the day she was returning to her family. Edward had not found out about this incident. Part of me was glad, but part of me was dismayed that he hadn't. Even to hear from him would have been better than the endless months of silence and no contact.

"Bella, I'm going to miss you too, but in 6 months I'll come and visit you at College. Think of the fun that we will have. Going shopping, meeting cute guys" I flinched. No one could compete with Edward, and they never would, "Maybe not the guys but we'll have slumber parties, moan about school, you can get a nice job, the whole routine." She said smiling, though I could tell she really didn't want to leave, in her butterscotch eyes. But she missed Jasper too much, I couldn't hold her here. I wouldn't try to either.

"You have to promise me, every 6 months we have to meet up, or sooner. I can't handle not seeing you Alice, I love you too much," I whimpered. Wiping my eyes with my sleeve. She suddenly zoned in and out.

"Yes, for many years to come, I will visit you, the future is certain of that. Because we are both so adamant of it happening." She grinned. The end was coming; this could hurt more than he brother leaving me, because I was letting it happen. "You have my number right, anything, anything at all, call me. Even if it is about nothing, and you just miss me, call me," she said gesturing to her cell phone and to mine. I nodded.

"As soon as I go to college, you are going to be on my next of kin at the hospital, don't worry" I smiled bitterly.

"So I guess I'll be hearing allot of Alaska ER," she laughed, if she could cry she would have.

"Come on Alice," I walked over to Carlisle's black Mercedes and held open the driver's door. She slowly got in. "I'd tell you to say hey to everybody but then he would find out," she nodded sadly, "He can't find out, please Alice. He can't know. But thank you, thank you so much for this," I gestured to the photo of Edward that sat on my bedside table and on a silver locket around my neck, "Call me when you get there." I cried as she started the engine, and closed the door, winding down the window electronically.

"I promise Bella, love you sweetie," she said. "Remember to call Angela," she said. "Bye Bella," was the last thing that she said to me and she drove away. I could feel the tears creeping up but I took a deep breath and I clutched the locket. I pulled out my cell phone and dialled the number that I just put into the phone that Alice had bought me.

"Hello?" I cheery voice answered.

"Hey Angela, I just thought I'd let you know, I'm coming with you in the fall," I whispered.

"Really? Wow, I can't believe it. You got into Alaska, that's amazing. We are going to have so much fun, and Ben's coming too."

"Yeah Angela, I can't wait," I said, trying to sound excited. But I didn't need to pretend, because that was when I was going to see Alice again.

_**Present day (2 years later)**_

"Come on Bella, if we are late for this lecture, we are so screwed," Angela said, pulling on her jeans. I pulled the pillow over my head, trying to get back to sleep. I didn't feel like going anywhere today, today of all days. Then the inevitable happened, as soon as 8 am struck. I got 5 text messages at the same time. One from Mike and Jess, another from Dad, Mum, Jacob and of course Alice. Each saying along the same lines; _'Happy 20__th__ Birthday Bella!"_. I still hated my birthday, even after 2 years. I groaned, not to mention I felt crap.

"Can't I just, you know blow off the lecture today? I mean it's just the first one, what's going to happen?" I asked, sitting up. She glared at me. "I feel really bad Ange,"she didn't relent. "Fine, but if I keel over and collapse I'm going to blame you," I said, pointing my finger at her. She smiled. The locket swung as I stood up. The room went momentarily black as it usually did when I stood up too quickly.

"Are you ok Bella?" she asked, with genuine concern, as she brushed her hair.

"Yeah, I'm good." I lied. Going to my wardrobe. I pulled on anything. It was a navy blue sweater and a white mini skirt, black tights and white pumps. I pulled a brush through my hair and grabbed my bag. Angela was waiting in the apartment living room. "Right let's go,"

"Aren't you going to have anything to eat?" she asked, raising her left eyebrow.

"No, I'm not hungry," I said honestly. I checked the mail. Three birthday cards and a letter in Alice's handwriting. That was odd. If there was something important she would call me. Maybe it was more pictures of Edward. I'll open it after class.

"Really Bella? I haven't seen you eat anything since yesterday lunch." She said, opening the front door.

"Thanks big brother but I ate at work last night." I said, closing the door behind us.

"Ok then," she said. We had our lecture all the way across the campus so we walked quickly admiring the nature as we did, the leaves on the floor, kicking them when we could, laughing when Ben met us half way there. Just as we were about to go into the classroom, my phone vibrated. Alice. I answered it in a hushed tone.

"Hey Babes, what's wrong?"

"Bella, thank god. I need to ask you something, do you feel like you're going to faint or anything?" she asked, so quickly I nearly missed it.

"Um no why?" I asked, sitting down at my seat at the top of the stairs, next to Garry, one of my friends. I nodded in hello. He smiled back.

"Good," she breathed a sigh of relief. "So the big 2-0, how do you feel? Older, wiser?" she mocked.

"Ha, ha Alice, very funny. Look I have to go I'll speak to you later, bye"

"Wait Car-" she began but I had already turned off my cell.

"So ladies and Gentlemen, you are here to study American History from 1500 to the present day. So please open your notebooks and be ready for one of the longest lectures of your entire life," Professor Rogers joked. We laughed. The lecture passed, like they always did. Full of notes and little jokes at some of the British people's expense.

Angela wrote furiously, as did Garry and Ben. I did too, but in the last ten minutes I began to lose my focus. An unusual thing for me. The lights were throbbing with my head and every single noise was as sensitive as a gong chime to a hangover. I placed my head on the desk. When the lecture finished, the class got up, all of us had writer's cramp. But that was not that was troubling me. When I got up, the room started to change colours, white appeared as yellow and it was going black. Slowly losing my vision.

"Bella?" I heard someone say. I was going, I could feel it.

"Call Alice," was the last thing I said before tumbling down the long flight of stairs and into unconsciousness. Alice had seen this. That's why she had called, but that wasn't the first time that I fainted and fell down stairs, there must be something more, something else that was going to happen. I was in the darkness for so long; I thought I was dead, before the light came back to me. It just happened. The next thing I knew I was lying on some uncomfortable sheets in a plastic mattress. In a white washed ward by the looks of it. Crap. Hospitals. Angela was sipping some coffee next to me whilst reading her history notes. I noticed that my left wrist was covered in plaster. Great. Just great.

"Ange, how long was I out for?" I asked, looking for Alice, or my dad.

"An hour, but they put you under for some sleep. This is all my fault. I should have let you stay home," she said guiltily.

"Hey, I didn't think I would actually faint did I?" touched my neck, for reassurance as I usually did in these situations. The locket sat there again, unmoved, I smiled. "Can you pass me my bag?" I asked. She did. I got my cell phone out and turned it on. There were 15 missed calls and 3 text messages. They were all from Alice. I opened one of the texts. _Get out of there! Carlisle there, he's going to see you! Get OUT!_ I froze. Carlisle was here. In this hospital. Probably not my Doctor but if he was here, there was a risk that _he_ was here too. But they did matriculate allot.

"Bella? Are you ok?" Angela asked.

"Has the doctor been here already?" I managed to stumble out. She looked concerned.

"No but I think that he's about to." She pointed to the door as the handle slowly went down.

"No!" I breathed.

The blonde doctor opened the door; his expression was confused and scared at the same time. It looked like he had been running, the silver folder, gripped tightly in his hand. If he could be, he would be panting but of course he wouldn't.

"Bella. Oh thank god you are ok," He sighed with relief as he slowly closed the door behind him. His face became immediately more relaxed, more professional suddenly. Angela looked between us quickly. I tried to smile, but I couldn't my face was frozen with fear. My heart was beating fast; as I'm sure he could hear clearly.

"Hello Carlisle," I muttered. "Well I should hope I'm ok. It was just a little fall after all, no harm done," I whispered the last three words, as I looked down at my plastered wrist. He smiled at me.

"I think I need some more coffee, I'll be back soon Bella." Angela said, giving me and Carlisle some privacy. No! I really didn't need to be alone with him, which was when the questions would start. I was right.

"So Bella, have your next of kin been contacted?" he asked, opening the file. Seeing the two names down there. "Ahh. I see. Angela Weber and Alice Cullen," he frowned at me. It was her current telephone number too. Then he smiled warmly.

"So you are the reason Alice was so anxious that we should not come here." He smiled as he sat on the end of my bed; I moved my legs so that I had them crossed.

"I guess so," I whispered twiddling my thumbs.

"So am I meeting Alice's 6 month retreats?" he asked smiling.

"Well yeah."

"Bella, what's the matter with you?" He said, placing the file on the bed and rubbing his temples with his forefingers.

"Well that's a nice thing to say to someone who has just fallen down stairs." I smiled ruefully; he looked at me, in a worried way.

"This file says you haven't been eating properly, it also shows that you are underweight and even I can tell ,just by looking at you that you aren't looking well. You're a mess." He said gently. I frowned. I looked a lot worse when Alice first saw me. "Why aren't you eating Bella?"

"I just forget to sometimes," I said, looking at the floor.

"You're forgetting to take something that is keeping you alive?" he said tapping his fingers on the end of the bed. I looked at his eyes, they were dark, and you couldn't see his pupils.

"How's that going for you then," I remarked, pointing to his eyes. He sighed.

"When was your last period?" he asked, as if he already knew the answer.

"A couple of months ago but that's not really the point is it?" I made a move to get up.

"Bella, you are killing yourself," he said sensitively. Getting up slowly.

"I'm fine honestly. Can I please go now?" I asked, now angry. He moved out of the way of the door, I had my hand on the handle when he muttered loud enough for me to hear.

"Edward's not going to be happy about this" I froze. Then I slammed the door loudly. He looked at me strangely.

"He's not going to find out about this," I said matter of factly. He shook his head sadly.

"I can't promise that, even though he isn't with us, odds are he will find out that you are here," he said quickly

"Please Carlisle, he can't. You can't tell him. Please! What happened to doctor, patient confidentiality? Wait he isn't here?" That news startled me.

"No, he's not with us, but he will be visiting in a couple of weeks," he frowned, and then sighed "But you are right, I will not tell him or anyone else that I have seen you here."

"Alice will know, you can tell her." I smiled, knowing that part of the battle was won. "Please can I go now?"

"Fine, but I am going to check in on you on my way home." He laughed. I smiled.

"Ok, the address is on file,"

"Bella come here," he said opening his arms. I went to him, it had been too long. He was as cold as he ever was. I wrapped my arms around his waist.

"I missed you," I whispered. It was true. I had missed them all, the family I had nearly had. He laughed stiffly.

"I'll see you later. Now don't work tonight, and take the rest of the day off. I'll be around at about 7pm." He looked me in the eyes, as if to say 'I will find you anyway'

"Yes doctor," I gave him a salute. I was at the door when he said one more thing to me.

"Happy Birthday Bella and he smiled. I smiled at him again and went to find Angela.


	2. Chapter 2

"So you're telling me, that I cannot ride my motorbike for a month?" I glared at Angela from the passenger seat, as she drove us back home.

"It's common sense Bella, you fainted. We go through this every time that this happens and we both agree in the end. Just a month, it's nothing, not that you could ride it anyway wit that plaster on your arm. You'll have the wind in your hair in no time." she smiled as we turned into our street.

"Yeah I do," I muttered, looking into the forest on the opposite side of the road from our house. There was a silence.

"Oh yeah Bella, did you open your package? It looked important, it was from Alice." she turned into our long driveway.

"I forgot. "I answered truthfully. I grabbed it and opened it with much difficulty, seen as my left arm was in plaster. I was wrong about the photos, but there was a note in there, and a small black box. Jewellery I suspect. I opened the note, it read; _Dear Bella, happy 20__th__ birthday and have many more to come. Love Alice xxx_ . It was unusually short, and I opened the box and there sat a thin silver chain with **'Bella' **dangling like a pendant from the chain, with a small sapphire in the upper left corner on the 'B'. It was Beautiful.

"Wow Bella. That's beautiful, did Alice get you that?" She had parked the car in our garage. Next to my car and motorbike. I stroked it lovingly.

"She must have done," I smiled. "Can you help me put it on?" she smiled and got out of the car.

"When we get inside," she opened my door. I stepped out warily. It was cold in here. It always was. "Bella, I need to tell you something. While you were under, I phoned Alice. She said she was coming over. She's going to make sure that you are okay when I'm at class." I frowned. I hated being babysat.

"Angela, I am twenty years old. I think that I can take care of myself," I said as I tripped over a table leg. I grabbed onto Angela to steady myself. She rose an eyebrow. "What time is she getting here?" I grumbled and sat down on the sofa.

"She's already here," I heard a heavenly voice come from the kitchen. Then she entered my view. She had not changed in six months. But she looked very worried.

"Hey Alice. Thanks for coming at such short notice," Angela smiled as she sat down next to me.

"It's ok, I was in the area." she smiled and leant on the wall. "How are you Angela? You look well, got any plans tonight?" she smiled

"I'm okay thanks. Well Me and Ben were going to take Bella out for a meal tonight, but, that is impossible now. It's doctors orders she is to stay in the house tonight." Angela laughed bitterly.

"You two should still go. It could be fun." I argued.

"Bella, don't be silly. I couldn't leave you here on your own-"

"Alice is here," pointed to her, she was staring into space. She was having a vision. Angela looked at her, then back to me again. "Angela, I want you to go," I put my hand on her arm.

"If you are sure,"

"yes! Now don't you have a class to get to?" I mocked. She looked at her watch and then rushed out of the door. I heard her car pull out of the garage and go down the road. Which left me and my friend to be alone. She was the first to speak.

"Bella, what are we going to do with you?" she smirked and I stood up and hugged her.

"Alice what are you doing here? You weren't supposed to be here until next week," I laughed. She laughed too. Then here expression went serious.

"Bella. I'm going to be around a lot of the time. We have moved here." her expression was seldom. I understood and nodded slowly.

"I guessed as much when I saw Carlisle at the hospital," I ran my fingers through my hair. "Is he here?"

"Not yet. He is coming in a couple of weeks."

"To stay?"

"At the moment yes. He is set upon it. He's been away from us for two years and wants to be with his family again," I froze.

"two years? He's been gone for two years away from you and your family," I glared out of the window. Idiot.

"Didn't I ever mention that?" she smiled. I smiled back. He didn't need to spoil it. "So, everybody's here then?" I asked, looking into her golden eyes.

"Yeah, Emmett and Rose, Esme, Carlisle ad Jasper." she recited as we walked into the kitchen, arm in arm.

"Right. Do the know that I am here?" I thought and rephrased my question, "Will they know that I am here?" I sat down on a chair around the table.

"Well Carlisle and Jasper know already. But the others don't ….yet" she added. My stomach growled. "Which reminds me why I am here." and she turned around to show counters full of edible food. I gasped.

"What? Why? How? Who?" I struggled to get through the words. She just smiled.

"Carlisle has a cell phone you know. Now I have to admit, you haven't been eating properly, until such a time comes when you are, I will be here until you do." she said handing me a huge lobster.

"Darn, what ever shall I do?" I laughed and started to eat the food that Alice had gotten for me. When I had eaten my third salad in a row, the doorbell rang.

"Alice do you know who that is?" she smiled and waltzed off to answer it. There was an almost silent discussion going on, but I could hear them talking too fast for me to understand. I could only pick out certain phrases; "What was I supposed to do let her die?" and "She's my best friend. Screw Edward, where was he when she was nearly killed by Laurent and Victoria?" Ten minutes after she went to get the door, she re-entered, looking thoroughly annoyed. Carlisle behind her.

"Good Evening Bella, how are you feeling?" he asked, smiling in my direction. I smiled back as real as I could.

"I feel fine Carlisle. I just wish I had this piece of plaster off my damn arm so I could ride my motorbike," I said wishfully. He frowned at me.

"Yes, well Bella I think that that is a good thing," he laughed.

"As you can see, I am pretty well set up here, I have food, water and a waitress to serve me," I pointed to Alice. She bowed down.

"Bella, you have to start to ," he stopped midway and walked into my living room, he returned a nanosecond later holding my necklace box and the letter Alice had written to me for my birthday. "What an interesting necklace Bella, who got it for you?" he asked, looking in Alice's direction. I was confused.

"Alice got it for me. It says so in the letter." I pointed to it. "Actually can you put it on, Angela was meant to but she forgot I guess." Carlisle did and as he clasped it into place. It felt like it belonged there.

"Alice, you bought this for her?" he asked again. She paused only for a second,

"Yes I did. I thought it would be nice for her to get it in the post," she smiled at me. "Carlisle, Esme want's to go hunting, I suggest you get home," she seemed urgent.

"Yes, she told me at lunch. Bella, hopefully I won't see you too much at the hospital," he laughed.

"I'll see you out," Alice offered and went with him to the front door.

_**Alice's POV**_

Carlisle and I walked quickly away from Bella, he still had the note from "me" in his hand.

"Alice tell me truthfully, did you send that necklace to Bella?" he asked as we got nearer to his car. I didn't need to lie here. It was all over that short letter. The letter that to the untrained eye, was nearly exactly the same handwriting as mine, the same way I talked to Bella over the phone and the way I had previously been writing to her. All of could have been taken down two years ago. How close we were. But there was something that Bella, a human, could not notice.

"No Carlisle, I did not send her that, but I know who did." he nodded slowly.

"His scent is all over this piece of paper. How did he know that you were still in contact with her. He hasn't been with us for months."

"I don't think that he did, she , in his mind, is more likely to accept a gift ,like this, from me than him."

"Do we tell her?" he asked, looking in my friends direction, hearing her heart beat quicker as she thought of an uncomfortable subject.

"No, I don't think we should. Not yet. He hasn't spoken to her for nearly two years. Won't she just get even more upset if she finds out that he knows where she lives?" I shook my head in confusion. He sighed. "okay, just keep an eye on her. She was severely depressed for a year afterwards. She was on anti-depressants. It was on her file. We done her no good by leaving. Be careful. I'll see you at home Alice,"

"I can't believe that Edward would do something like this,"

"Edward probably didn't think that she would ever find out,"

"Where are Rose and Emmett, he owes me $60,"

"They're going out for dinner," he laughed as he drove off. Into the night. I paused and quickly scoped the woods, that surrounded the house, I had bought for Bella and Angela. Nothing. Well not Edward anyway. I walked back into the house to find Bella, grabbing some toast and walking straight into me.

_**Bella POV**_

Alice and Carlisle had walked out of the room. As soon as they had, my cell phone went off. It was a text message from Garry, my boss and one of my closest friends. _Bella, there was a cancellation, I know what happened, but can you sing tonight? Text me back in the next five minutes. Garry xx_ Hmm, what were the odds that I could get out of here without them noticing? Slim to none. I liked to sing, it helped me feel the pain that Edward had left me behind with. I considered my options quickly. Alice would see. I looked at myself. I was presentable. I stood up quickly and grabbed a slice of toast and headed for the door. Alice opened it. She looked concerned and then suddenly angry. She must have seen what I was about to do.

"_Where _exactly do you think you are going Bella?" she crossed her arms. I took a bite from my toast,

"Work, some of have to work for a living you know," I tried to joke. She looked at me sternly. There was definitely something I was missing. "Do you want to come, or do you want to stay here?" I expected her to not move out of the way. But she smiled and stood aside.

"I think I'll come. I haven't seen you sing before, well other than in my head. I'll give you a ride." and she sat in my Audi Coupe on the drivers side. I sighed and sat on the passenger side. I hated driving with Alice. She, like her brother, enjoyed driving fast. "Where to Bella?"

"The Dolphin," She turned suddenly. A journey which took me only 10 minutes usually, I was there in 5. I had called Garry and he had set everything up. I just had to turn up and sing and then get paid $50 at the end of the night.

"I'll be out here when you get back," she warned, I turned around and thanked her. I ran into the club and was ushered out on stage. It was very quick. I had my microphone strapped around my head and then it was dark.

"And now, our very own, Bella Swan!" Garry announced over the PA system. I clutched my locket and my new necklace tightly. There were cheers and I heard a glass smash.

The opening notes to, "there are worse things I could do ," started and the curtain went up.

All in all it was a pretty good show. I sang to five songs , There are worse things I could do, Des'ree- Kissing you, Almost Lover, You should have lied and Thinking of you, by Katy Perry. When I was done I took my bow, despite several cheers of "Encore!" I slid away to stage right.

"Excellent show tonight Bella, here you go and I will see you on Thursday," he laughed as he handed me my cash. I thanked him, I was just about to leave via the back entrance when a voice, a voice I had not heard in a very long time talked to me.

"Well, Well, Well. Bella Swan, someone has been busy haven't they?" he said in a rhetorical question.


	3. Chapter 3

No. It couldn't be. I saw Alice in my car, staring straight ahead, her face was almost completely still, and then it suddenly jerked in my direction. I slowly closed the back doors and took a deep breath. Then I turned around and looked at the beautiful face that bore into my eyes. There he was. He hadn't changed since I had last seen him. He looked just like always.

"Fall down again Bella?" he joked

"No Emmett, I fell down some stairs," I stroked my cast.

"That's the Bella I love and miss!" he moved so quickly that I nearly didn't see him, but the next thing that I knew I was having the wind knocked out of me with a bear crushing hug. Why now? Did somebody up there actually hate me? It had taken me 2 years to get used to the idea that I wasn't ever going to see anybody from my almost family ever again. Then suddenly everybody was turning up everywhere I looked. As I tried, uselessly, to get Emmett to let go of me. I subconsciously, as I took a breath, smelt his hair, it was just like him and that made it ten times worse than it was already. He smelt like Edward.

"Emmett, let me go!" I shouted. He seemed to remember something and suddenly released his grip. Putting his cold hard hands onto my shoulders, and smiling down to me. He was smiling, I could see his dimples.

"Bella this is wrong." He said, suddenly serious.

"You make it sound like we're having an affair," I rolled my eyes.

"Eh" he nodded his head.

"Where's Rose?"

"She stormed out about 2 minutes after you started singing. Great job by the way,"

"Thanks," I muttered. "So everybody knows apart from Esme" I sighed.

"No, she will probably know by now. Rose, made sure of that." Alice appeared suddenly, removing Emmett's from my shoulders. Emmett shrugged.

"Does he?" I asked, looking at Alice.

"Not yet," she rubbed her temples thoughtfully. I winced.

"Can you please try and tell her, no convince her not to tell him. She will listen to you," I pleaded with Emmett. He laughed.

"Sure Bella, I want to be there when he finds out," he laughed. Typical Emmett, laughing at someone else's pain.

"Please, please don't tell him. He can't find out." I could feel the tears welling up.

"Bella-" Emmett started but my cell rang. It was Angela.

"Hey Ange, to what do I owe this pleasure,"

"Bella! Oh my god. I have to talk to you right away. I can't believe it" She sounded excited.

"What can't you believe?" I laughed. Alice smiled of course she knew already.

"Oh my God! It's Ben. I can't," she took a deep breath, "Ben asked me to marry him!" she gushed.

"What! Oh my gosh Ange! That is great news. Mrs. Ben Cheney. Wow," I laughed. Emmett suddenly grabbed my cell from my hand.

"Hell yeah girlfriend. Welcome to the marriage ranks. We have a secret handshake and everything," Emmett boomed into the phone. Alice laughed, as did I. It felt strange, like those muscles had not been used in a very long time. Alice then took it from him,

"Congrats Angela. Wow. How did he do it? Was it romantic? Did he go down on one knee? Was it in Champagne?" she was practically bouncing as Angela responded, like she didn't know already. "Yeah we're on our way back right now." She suddenly held me in her arms and the wind blew my hair. Then she was strapping me into my seat.

"How come I don't get to come?" Emmett whined, with faux disappointment.

"Do you want to come over?" I raised an eyebrow sceptically. Then he was sitting in the back, right behind me. I sighed again.

"Ok Bye Angela!" and she shut the cell phone and we were driving at speeds, which I was not comfortable with, through the dark roads of Alaska.

"You think I'm going to miss a chance to visit Chateau Bella? You have to be kidding me," Emmett lounged on the back seats. This was not supposed to happen. This time yesterday, I was sitting at home, dreading the following day, because this was a day of bad memories. I wanted nothing more than to curl up into a dark hole somewhere and die. If you had told me that I would be reunited with my almost family, then I would have refused to leave the damn house, for the next two years.

"Emmett, you really shouldn't come. Angela will get suspicious." Alice frowned.

"Hey you're not the only one who has missed the klutz. Rose is too graceful to trip over, and there is nobody to laugh at." He leaned forwards so that his head was in between the two seats. "That was until ten minutes ago," he turned to me. "I have to say Bella, I am a little disappointed. You still look relatively attached. I thought that you would be in crutches and a sling. Well I guess I was right in a way." He rustled my hair. "This is going to be great, just like old times,"

"I really don't think so. If all of you are here. Well I can live with that, just when your dear brother decides to make an appearance. He cannot know from you. He will not find out." I warned. This speech seemed a little worn now. That it had been repeated a lot in one day. He ignored me.

"Nice wheels. Better than that truck you used to own," he laughed. I still had my truck, it just wasn't in Alaska. We were outside my house. Angela was getting into her car. I climbed out.

"Hey Bella, I'm going over to Bens. Oh, I will tell you all about it tomorrow." She hugged me tightly. She was so happy. Good for her. Those two were made for each other. I kissed her on the cheek.

"Go have fun and don't do anything that I wouldn't," I winked. She climbed in a drove away. I turned around to lock my car, but the passengers had disappeared. I walked slowly into the living room. Pulling off my cardigan with great difficulty. Stupid fucking cast. Ugh.

It felt strange, looking around, seeing emptiness all around. It felt lonely. Well it was going to be like this soon, so I may as well get used to it. They had gone, it must have been an emergency. I felt suddenly lethargic. Dragging myself up the stairs I looked over the huge living room. Angela would want to move in with Ben soon, I would have to find a roommate, or just live on my own. Why was I suddenly so afraid of living alone? Maybe it was the fact that I would be losing my best friend. Or perhaps it was the fact, that now my almost family had returned, I suddenly felt uneasy about the silences that surrounded me. Like there was somebody waiting in the shadows, just waiting to pounce.

My room was just as I had left it this morning, clothes strewn over the bed, wardrobe wide open and on my bedside table, my cell phone charger and the wedding invitation for my father and Sue Clearwater. My Dad had finally found someone to replace my mum. It was in just over a month, I was a bridesmaid. My dress hung in my wardrobe, along with my plane tickets. I changed into my sweats and lay on my bed. My ceiling was dancing in the moon light from the windows. Today had been a long day, it now finally it was finishing, I couldn't be happier than to fall asleep.

OOOOOOOOOO

"Thanks for the ride Garry. Angela is with Ben. Planning for the wedding." I explained as I unbuckled my seatbelt.

"No probs Bells. Need me to pick you up after?" he said, puffing on a cigarette.

"No I'm good. I might just walk home. It will still be quite light anyway." I reasoned. He nodded. I stepped out of the car.

"You know Bella, I could stay, and keep you company, if you like?" he asked, with a sexual under tone. I rolled my eyes.

"What is my rule Garry?"

"Don't mix business with pleasure," he groaned. I laughed. I actually didn't date full stop.

"Right. So I'll see you tomorrow then boss," I walked away. He honked his horn in recognition. I groaned internally. Things with Garry could get easily complicated.

I walked into Brandon's, my second job. It was a Music and Book store. Though I tried to stay away from the music section. It was Wednesday night, quiet as usual. I sat behind the counter, as always and waited for one customer, though even that was a bit optimistic, even though it was the only store of its kind in a five block radius, people had lives and went out on Wednesday nights.

I looked at the calendar. I groaned, trying not to think about it. It had been a month since the Cullen's had returned to my lives. Though the only people that I had seen were: Alice, almost every day but she was hunting with Jasper tonight, Emmett, around school, he often gave me odd looks that suggested he was trying to restrain himself from laughing and Carlisle in the hospital when I went to get my cast removed. Part of me was glad that I had not seen Esme, because then it would be harder than ever before to turn away from them. The mother I longed to have. In two days I would be leaving Alaska and returning to Forks for Dad's wedding. I didn't like to think of me walking down the aisle in front all those people. I would probably fall down or something. Ugh.

I felt thirsty and went to the back and made a Coffee. As I poured it out, I heard the bell go from over the door. Wow, one customer. I slowly walked out and sat back down again. Nearly dropped my mug as looked into the warm butterscotch eyes.

"Hello Bella. It has been too long," the person smiled warmly. It was strange seeing this person after all this time.

"Hello Esme," I breathed. She looked as elegant as ever. Wearing some skinny Jeans ,with black high heeled boots. She was wearing a long Black Coat also. "You're looking well,"

"Well, I haven't changed since I last saw you," she smiled. "I'm sorry that I haven't seen you since we arrived, but I was busy restoring a house in Canada. Lovely little cottage," she smiled walking over to me, slowly. She seemed genuinely concerned.

"It's alright. Alice has kept me informed." I tapped my coffee mug absentmindedly.

"So, your twenty now?" she smiled, stroking my cheek.

"Yeah, for a month now." I sighed.

"I hope that I'm not too late," she pulled out a wrapped present. And a blue envelope, with a ribbon on it. I blushed as she handed it over to me.

"Esme, you didn't need to get me anything," Tried to pass it back to her, she shook her head.

"No way Bella. I wasn't the only Cullen who has missed you," she looked like she was going to cry, if she even could.

"Esme, please," I tried again. She smiled.

"Please Bella, for my sanity." I sighed. I was wary here, if this was anything like the last birthday, a simple paper cut could set her off. I wasn't scared, just a little nervous. I opened it. There was a ring covered in Sapphires. It looked like it was from Tiffany's. I exhaled.

"It's beautiful," I stared down at it.

"And it matches your necklace." She pointed out. My 'Bella' necklace never left my neck. My Locket now resided in my bedside table drawer. I didn't need it for comfort now.

"Yes. I can't thank you enough Esme," I gave her a warm hug.

"Hey, it's from Carlisle and I. And here's Emmett's. She pulled out another package. It looked like it was a DVD container. I tore the wrapping paper open. I was right. On the case it read, 'Bella singin' her heart out!' _ Hey Bella, don't let the man get you down! He's a Jackass! Wink wink! See ya at school. Emmett xx _

"Wow. You really didn't have to do this Esme. You coming here was enough to light up my day." I smiled.

"You never told us that you sang Bella," she replied, pulling up a chair, sitting next to me.

"You never asked," I put on my ring. It fit perfectly. I put it on my ring finger. It would ward off bachelors.

"You have a beautiful voice. I have a copy of that at home. If I could cry Bella, your voice would." She took my hand. It was cold, but soft at the same time.

"Esme..."

"Now dear, that is seriously one of the best things I have ever heard." She stroked my hair. "How I wish that things were different,"

"Edward _still_ not back then?" I looked down to the counter.

"No. But he has called. He had to take a short detour. But he will be here soon." She smiled.

Her first and favoured son.

My heart rate suddenly quickened. Edward was supposed to be home two weeks ago. And when Alice came to me, a week and a half ago, and told me he wasn't going to be back anytime soon, I had been constantly looking over my shoulder, waiting for him to appear. In one of my classes, at my work place, the bar or the store. But so far nothing. The stress was beginning to get to me. I winced at the familiar pain that surfaced by my lower abdomen.

"Bella are you ok?" Esme said, interrupting my train of thought.

"Yeah, I get it a lot. It comes and it goes," I rubbed the stomach thoughtfully.

"It's going to be hard for you isn't it," she said.

"I can deal with it," I lied. Seeing him would erupt so many feelings, that I may explode.

"So I hear, you dad's getting married? Who's the Lucky lady?" Esme changed the subject, seeing the current one was getting me down.

"Sue Clearwater. Family friend. Her husband died two years ago." I muttered.

"And Angela and Ben are getting married too," she held my hand.

"Yeah. I'm her maid of honour," I smiled as I remembered how Angela had asked me over so many others.

"How does that make you feel Bella?" she asked.

"I'm good, they belong together," I laughed.

The following two hours passed with ease. We were just caught up on the missing two years. They were in Canada before and they moved because someone had 'cheated' but they didn't tell me who. I didn't want to know to be honest. I locked up, and Esme dropped me home. She kissed me goodbye and I didn't want to leave her. I went into my empty house once again. Saying goodbye to Esme and any pretence that the pain in my belly wasn't getting worse as the days went on.


	4. Chapter 4

_His ice cold body pushed mine against a wall, he sneered in my left ear._

"_Did you really think that you could hide from __**me **__Bella? Did you really?" He started to move away. Turning invisible, so that I could just hear his voice. I looked around the box like room. It was completely white._

"_I am going to find you Bella, don't worry about that. And when I find you Bella, you'll regret it. And so will everybody else. I look forward to seeing you. Even if it is just in Alice's thoughts. She will be easily dealt with. Just like you. I think you should wake up now, before I say some things that you'll regret. WAKE UP BELLA, WAKE UP!_

OOOOOOOOOOO

My eyes snapped open as I sat bolt upright. Looking around the room frantically, for him. Scared that he had found me. Scared that he would come out of the shadows and ruin my life, the life I had substituted when he had left me. My room was empty. I breathed a sigh of relief. I could feel my heart hammering in my chest, as I stood up and got out of my bed and walked towards the bathroom.

I hadn't noticed that I was crying until I looked into the mirror and saw the tear marks running down my face. Typical, but that wasn't the thing that concerned me. The stabbing pain in my tummy was getting worse as the days went on, and even though I knew not to question it, it was probably nothing, I couldn't help feeling, that something was coming, something bad.

I turned the taps on; the hot water ran down my back and undid all the knots in the top of my back. This was a time that I often used to think over the things that troubled me. Money, relationships; not that I had any of those, by choice not by luck, Dad, Alice, Angela, essays that needed to be handed in. But none of those made it into my mind today, it was Edward. I had not dreamt of him since I had left Forks. Two years ago. But that didn't change the way I felt about him.

The dreams of Edward I used to have, were always bad, I had not had a pleasant dream about a certain Mr. Cullen since I was seventeen years old. And I had made my peace with that, not that I dreamt very much these days anyway. Edward had come into my life, and made it so unique that when he waltzed out of it once again, it was never going to be the same. I wonder if he knew that. That he knew what I was going to go through, and yet still he left. Left me to be alone, like he had been for so long before he met me. Maybe to give me a taste of his own medicine, though I cannot think of why he would want to. But hey, who was I kidding, Edward didn't need a reason to make my life a living hell, he done the second that he left me alone.

I stepped out of the bath and onto the mat, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around me. As I walked out of the bathroom, with nothing but a towel, to cover me, I headed down the stairs and into the kitchen, making myself a bagel. I sat down on the counter, looking out into the view, the trees that surrounded my house. By the time that I had finished my bagel, the front door had just slammed.

"Hello? Anybody home?" a voice said, it rang through the empty rooms.

"In here Ange," I yelled, getting up. The pain in my stomach lurched as I did. Crap, now it was getting worse, hopefully it will be gone by tomorrow, or at least have subsided by then. I managed to mask my pain by the time that she had entered.

"Oh Bella, I need to talk to you and I don't know how to tell you," she whispered.

"Angela you can tell me," I laughed, "What could possibly be as bad as to why you are so upset," I pulled my towel a bit further up my body.

"Nice dress," she laughed, I brushed her off.

"What's wrong Ange?"

"It's Ben and I. I have been meaning to tell you this, for quite some time. I don't know how to put it," she mused, I knew what was coming. I sighed.

"I think I know what you want to say, and I need to tell you that it was ok," I snickered

"That, Bella, I am moving in with Ben." She gushed out.

"I know." I sighed, "When?"

"In a couple of days," she said, I could see the tears beginning to form in her eyes.

"I understand Ange, I knew it was coming, I am not surprised that it is so soon," I laughed

"But Bella, I don't like to think of you alone in this house, all by yourself," She said, the tears running down her face.

"Angela, don't worry about it. Seriously, if I got married, I would have gotten my own place long ago," I joked, now feeling the tears forming in my own eyes.

"Sure Bella. It's just like the –the"

"End of an era, I know Ange." I whispered.

"Oh Bella," she opened her arms.

"Oh Angela," I opened my arms and ran into hers. Both of us crying and holding onto her shoulders, swaying slightly when we lost our balance.

"So when I come back from Forks, you will be gone?" I said, my voice sounded thick, as it sounded like it hadn't been used in a long time.

"Uh huh, I could wait-"

"No Ange, you should be with Ben, just because one of us is to be a spinster, doesn't mean that both of us should," I laughed

"Don't talk about yourself like that Bella. You'll find someone, don't worry," she stroked my cheek.

"Angela, you know that there was only one man for me," I hung my head.

"I know Bella. I know." She laughed sadly, stroking my cheek. "Haven't you got a lecture today?"

"No, Professor Carlton has gone on a retreat to the alps. He will be back on Monday, like me," I laughed, wiping my own cheeks.

"And tomorrow?"

"None tomorrow, am going to leave at lunch," I explained.

"Are you eating properly Bella? I can't help noticing that you look awfully pale,"

"Ange I always look pale, always have and always will," I laughed. "But I do have work, in the shop, so I had better go and get dressed."

"I don't know Bella, maybe if you go in like that, then you may get more customers?" I threw a cushion at her as I walked up the stairs. I looked in her room as I passed, the door was open, and it was full of boxes now. I walked on, until I reached my own room. I walked straight to my room and into my wardrobe. Jeans and a Sweater were my chosen choices, that morning. Drying my hair quickly.

I had to be at work in half an hour and I lived twenty minutes away; I grabbed my keys and ran down the stairs. Angela had gone into her room to pack. I envied her, she had someone, and I didn't. She would lock up. I pulled on my leather jacket and started my motorbike. It felt good to be able to ride it again, after, being banned from it for so long. The garage door opened, and just as I accelerated I stopped suddenly. Alice was there as well, wearing a helmet and some leathers also. On a yellow bike of her own. Great.

"Alice? What are you doing here?" I asked, shutting off the engine.

"Well what a nice way to treat your friend. I just thought that you could use a little company, but oh well, fine be that way, I'll just go then," She started her own engine. I frowned. "Or not, how are you Bella?" she got off her bike, and was by my side, before I could blink.

"I'm good. Better now that you're here," I kissed her cheek.

"Oh Bella, never got my birthday present," she gleamed. I was confused; I was wearing her birthday present.

"Um Alice,-"

"No that was a small one, this one had to be packaged, sorry it's so late but happy 20th birthday, again!" she placed a small rectangular box in my hand. I opened the lid slowly. There was a key there. There were two keys. One looked like a car key. Another car. Ugh. Alice did love buying gifts for people.

"Another car? Thanks Alice. But what's that for?" I pointed to the other key. She smiled and laughed.

"For your new house," she squealed with delight and clapped her hands eagerly. I groaned internally. A house. A new house.

"You bou-bought me a house?" I stuttered. Inspecting the key.

"Yep,"

"And how exactly do you plan on making me accept this?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Because I saw you accepting it, now come on, don't you want to see it?" she asked again.

"I have work Alice," I grumbled, starting up my bike again.

"I know, I'm coming with you," she started up hers too. I sighed and drove down the packed street. Alice had bought me a house, I'm sure if I asked her she would say, real estate is a good investment. But I think it was so that I didn't feel like a loner in my house, all alone. In the suburbs. Ugh. Darn Alice, how I loved her.

We got to work quicker than usual that morning. Parking our bikes round the back, just like routine, how dull. But it was work, and tonight I would be busy packing for the wedding and getting work done, my usual Thursday night slots with my singing had been done on Tuesday instead so that I could prepare. For most things, this store done ok, but sometimes it just dragged. The clock just seemed to go ten times slower than usual. Lucky Alice was there to keep me company. My Boss, Alex, whom I had never met, had left me strict instructions, to sell some of the books that were taking too long to shift. If I didn't well then he said an I quote "Don't worry Bella, there are other ways to repay the Boss," I shuddered just thinking about it. Pervert. It was 10am and my shift finished at 3pm. It was 2:45pm now.

"Ugh, will this torture never end," I gasped, placing my head on the table.

"Here, why don't you take out the garbage?" she handed me the bag and smiled, dancing around the store. I took it and walked out the back door, putting in the bins. As I slammed the lid down, I looked up, there at the front of the traffic lights, was a sparkly, silver Volvo. I couldn't help but stare after it as if sped down the street.

Was it him? Had he really come back? Already? Why, why couldn't he just stay away, leave me alone, leave this place in peace. Did he care about me at all? But then he didn't know I was here, did he? He didn't need to know the repercussions that he would cause. Perhaps when I went to Forks, I would not return here, go and see Renee and Phil in Jacksonville. Visit Jess and Mike in California? Anywhere to get away from here. The way that that guy had been driving was very Edward like. But then again how many people, owned s silver Volvo like his. Hundreds.

There was no point in panicking over nothing. I couldn't just go and jump out of my skin every time that I saw a silver car. Well not anymore.

It was cold and I walked back into the store. Alice was sitting there, none the wiser, reading a magazine. Sometimes I wished that I could just run away from all this, and go and see the one person I longed to see. She looked behind her shoulder as Steve, my replacement came in. She smiled at me, with a huge grin.

"You ready to see your new abode?" I nodded solemnly as she dragged me out of the door, just willing to forget, what I had just seen.

OOOOOOOOOO

_**Well what do you think? Please review!**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Hey Guys, it's been a while and it's quite late now, but here is Chapter 5 at last. Its summer but this has been the first time that I have had time to write for a while. So enjoy and review at the end please. I appreciate all types of reviews**_

OOOOOOOOOO

I walked out of the store in a daze. Even though I had decided not to dwell on it, all I could think of when I got to my bike was the shiny, silver Volvo.

Could it really be Edward? Could he have returned so quickly that I had not even noticed? That Alice had not even told me about it? Should I have pretended not to see it and just carry on with my life as normal? All of these questions that had so many answers to them, and yet I had never been more excited about Charlie's upcoming nuptials in the six months I had been aware of them.

As I put my right leg over the bike the pain came again, it lurched in the opposite direction that I had moved to. I squinted with the pain, but once again, it had disappeared as soon as it had come. Alice had already turned her motorbike on and was revving in anticipation, I looked up and she gave me a radiant smile, which I tried to return to the best of my ability, it was pointless, but I kicked off and sped down the road. Alice soon over took me, which I let her do today and only today because she knew where my new home was going to be.

I expected it to in the rich district of my neighbourhood, but how wrong I was. It took an hour to get there, but we were going quite slowly. Probably because Alice was with me. When we finally stopped, it was in a heavily wooded area. I could see no houses in either direction. It was green, too green, like my old home in Forks. And the house itself? It was beautiful. It looked around a century old. To say it was a mansion, would be an understatement. It had Victorian origins, red bricks, with a side house which, I assumed was a garage, large paned windows on the outside, six on the first storey, and six on the second. It also had a large square lawn but no mailbox. How would I get my mail?

"So you like it Bella? Please tell me what you think!" Alice had stopped and started to wheel her bike to the garage, practically bouncing with excitement. I loved this house, but could it really be all for me? It was huge! What would I do with myself?

"Alice I love it, but I don't think I can accept this," I gasped, as the door opened, revealing my car, that was supposed to be in the garage at home, Alice's motorbike, already parked and a shiny red Ferrari. The garage looked too big for the exterior walls. It had cabinets and strip lighting. Reflecting the silver paint job, giving off a certain glow.

"Nonsense Bella, of course you can accept this. I know it's a little big, but when you get in there, you won't even think of the size."She laughed. Opening the side door, that led to the house.

I sighed internally, getting off the bike and walking over to join Alice. She put her arm around my waist and led me through the solid oak doors. I gasped. This could be for me.

The house was beautiful. It had a homey feel. Unlike the Cullen's taste, it had several warm colours. But like the Cullen's it seemed that it had once been several rooms, now just separated into two ones. Through the first door was the kitchen, which was also the dining room, decorated with various trinkets from home, photos, but with new kitchen accessories, like pots and pans. The living room led out into a large, wide conservatory from what I could see. Alice beckoned me to go through to look into it. She, of course, was brandishing an all knowing smile, meaning she already knew what my reaction would be. I raised my eyebrows and opened the white sliding patio doors, to the conservatory. It held a leisure centre sized swimming pool. With a bar on one side with reclining deck chairs, also a side door which had the words "_**Bella's swimwear closet**_". I groaned and turned to face Alice, with an angry expression on her face.

"Alice you got me house with a pool?" putting my hands on my hips.

"Silly Bella I didn't get you a house with a pool," she sped off and returned with a red bikini, holding it in my direction.

"What do you _mean_ you didn't _buy_ me a house with a pool?"

"Hmm, maybe the blue one piece?" she muttered, speeding off with me in her arms into my swimwear closet. It was full of hundreds of bathing suits. The classical one piece, the modern two piece and the modern embarrassing one piece bottom a bikini. Eww, when would I need that?

"Alice stop trying to change the subject,"

"So Esme, Emmett and I had a little fun over the past month renovating this house, isn't it pretty," she laughed.

"Yes Alice of course it's pretty, but what am I supposed to do in a house this big? I will get lonely, and there is nobody around for miles. Alice I love the house, but it's way too much. Ow!" she poked me in the stomach.

"Sorry but yes the blue one piece was better on you, come on let's get you in some water," she laughed.

"ALICE!" I started to struggle in her arms, she stopped suddenly.

"Bella come on relax, it will be fine." I pouted and she looked at me sympathetically. Then walked over to the deck chairs, putting me down slowly.

"Alice come on, this house is too much. I could accept the last house because it was for me and Angela and it was smaller." I gestured to the big conservatory. "The last house didn't have a conservatory Alice, with rooms the size of three back home. And I'm in the middle of nowhere. What if I get lonely? But those windows they look a bit fragile," she put her finger to my lips. A could feel a speech coming on.

"Bella, compared to some of the ideas that Emmett had, this _is_ small. And who knows it may not be just for you in the long term," she smiled, I didn't like that idea, "The last house only didn't have a conservatory because it was a house built by the government, not by the Cullen's. You are not in the middle of nowhere and you won't get lonely because only live 8 miles up the road and those windows are not that fragile, they are missile proof and one way viewing. Only vampires would know that you were there and stop trying to find flaws in my plan!" she laughed.

"It is a Beautiful house," I sighed, giving in.

"Yay! Now Rosalie owes me $100." Alice clapped her hands excitedly. I rolled my eyes. "Do you want to see the rest of the house?"

"Well I might as well. Seen as I will be living here soon," I smiled at her, she smiled back at me.

"Oh yay! Let's get on with it! Hurry up Bella!" she laughed when I started to move upwards.

"Okay, Okay Alice. I'm ready," I pulled on a robe, tying the waist band tightly around my stomach, so that it could numb the pain in my stomach. "Let's check out my crib," she grabbed my wrist and pulled my lightly towards the living room. I walked at my highest speed but obviously wasn't fast enough for vampires and she pulled me into her arms, once again, up the lavish staircase which I felt like I had seen it somewhere before.

"Alice there is something familiar about the staircase?"

"Well Carlisle did voyage on the Titanic, he did give Esme some inspiration I suppose, here we are," we reached some wide white doors which would need to be slid over to open them.

Alice really had gone all out. She put me down and giggled as I touched the handles and slid both doors to the side. It revealed one large bedroom with king sized bed, covered with white pillows and duvets. Also a vanity mirror and a huge closet. I didn't even need to see it; I knew that's what Alice would insist on. I couldn't help but be excited and walked over to the bed and jumped down on it, it was a water bed. I lay back down on it and rolled over on it. It was pretty nice to lie on and it would be even nicer to sleep on.

"Are you coming round to the idea Bella?" She leant against the door frame.

"Maybe, now go and show me what you are dying to show me," she laughed and pulled me to the closet. I was right. Huge, bigger than the other one which she had been devastated with the size of it and seemed to be ten times bigger than the old one. It had three rows of clothes from what I could tell. Casual wear, Night wear and Dresses. Extravagant Dresses, stuff that could only be worn to balls or expansive Proms. The Nightwear was embarrassing, even to look at, lingerie by the looks of it. Where the hell would I wear that? It's not as if I had someone to wear that with? The casual wear hinted at designer origins as all my clothes did nowadays. That's what happens when you let Alice Cullen have free reign over your wardrobe. I walked back out and went to the windows that had a view of the street that I had walked in from. There was now a mail box at the front of path. How had it gotten there? Emmett no doubt. I sighed ,just about to turn away when I saw it again. The silver Volvo sped by, I would have missed it if I had blinked. I couldn't hide it now. I fell to the floor gasping for air.

"Bella? Bella are you okay?" Alice rushed to my side.

"Volvo, outside," I pointed to the window between sobs. She stroked my hair slowly.

"Shh , Shh Bella. There is nothing to worry about. That's just Jasper. Edward left his Volvo in a location for one of us to pick up. Jasper did today. Edward isn't here. He won't be for a while. It's all going to be okay Bella. Please calm down." She soothed me. I eventually calmed down and stood up. Alice smiled again. I walked over to the vanity mirror; there were photos of me, me and the Cullen's. From all those years ago. Emmett giving me a hug, Alice and I walking arm in arm in Port Angeles in that summer, Esme and Carlisle smiling dazzlingly to the camera, another with me and the whole family ,excluding one of them. Edward. I think he was photo shopped out. Thanks to whoever did that. And One of Jasper and Alice looking lovingly into each other's eyes. I sighed. Only Rosalie was missing. And one of Charlie and I at High School Graduation, and another with Alice and I at Graduation. She decided to come down that day.

"Thanks Alice. For everything."

"It's okay Bella. Now come on, I haven't even shown you the other side of the hall yet!" she again dragged me out of the room and into the hallway. "You have two guest rooms and this. Jaspers Project," she smiled as she opened the door and there was a studio, for recording music. A studio that I would never use, but I smiled anyway. "The whole house is sound proofed, so no human would e able to hear you anyway, just us, and don't worry ,we won't bother you unless it's an emergency," I cut her off and ran straight into her arms, giving her a huge hug, one that I felt Emmett would be proud of.

"Thanks Alice, I love it," I whispered and she pulled me in tighter.

OOOOOOOOOO

"_Ladies and Gentleman we are now arriving in Hoquiam, Washington. The local time is 8:02 am. We will be landing shortly so please buckle your seatbelts. This is your Pilot, Tom Churney, thank you."_

The Pilot announced over the speaker system. It woke me up, I had been sleeping beforehand and I rubbed my eyes. In 6 hours my Dad was going to get married for the second time and this time I was going to be there. It seemed to take an absolute age for the plane to land and even when it had landed it took forever to get my luggage. And when I did, it had not even occurred to me at how I would return home to Forks. So when I came out of the arrivals lounge, I began to walk towards the entrance. My suitcase containing my bridesmaid dress echoed off the tiles, when the wheels got stuck on something. I checked the wheel and nothing was there. When I got up, I saw the last person I had ever expected to meet here.

"Hey Bella," he smiled

"What are you doing here?" I gave him a hug, and flung my arms around his neck.


	6. Chapter 6

I tried to take it all in. Every piece of him, all of those things that I had missed about him; the way he made my mood rise just by being in his presence. I inhaled his scent and hugged him tighter.

"Jeez Bells, give me some air," he laughed.

"Sorry, but it has been too long," I squeezed him tighter. He swayed slightly.

"It's been long I'll give you that. Haven't seen you since Christmas,"

"I went to Florida, to help Renée with Anthony."

"Big sister Bella then? How his the little guy,"

"When I last saw him? Teething and getting big. He has Renée's eyes, and pale skin," I laughed, finally releasing him.

"When you seeing him again?"

"Well, Renée wants to go to Mexico for thanksgiving, and I offered to babysit. So I am going to be looking after him through Thanksgiving break, going down on the 19th, the Saturday, and Renée's coming for him on the 26th. "

"What a doting Sister you have become. Quite an age gap though. How long?"

"Well I was 18 when he was born. September 6th," I laughed, started to move now.

"You seem happier since Christmas." He noted, "Anything happening up there? You meet a guy?"

"Um no. Not a guy," I put my arm around his waist as he pulled my suitcase through the airport.

"But something has you glowing. You're not pregnant are you?" he asked hesitantly.

"Yes Jacob I am pregnant," I said sarcastically. He laughed.

"Ok it was a stab in the dark. You know what they say about pregnant women, they have a glow about them, and thank God you're not. Now why are you so happy?"

"Promise not to get mad ok?" I began. He nodded his head virtuously. I took a deep breath and carried on with the sentence.

"The Cullen's are um, in Alaska." I looked at his face closely for a reaction, it looked pained.

"With you huh?" he tried to sound indifferent.

"Yeah. They are all back now," I laughed.

"Then how does 'Cold Eddie' feel about you being here with me then?" he grimaced. As did I. I had said _all_ of them.

"Oh well when I said all of them, I meant all of them. Except him." He smiled, "He was supposed to be back a month ago, but he still hasn't shown up," even I could hear the sadness in my voice. I didn't want it to be there.

"You want him to be back?"

"I thought I did, all that time ago, when I knew that he wasn't ever going to come back, but now that I know he is coming back, I don't know anymore. Just have to wait and see. Hopefully he will just treat me like every other human,"

"And how's that then?" he asked, opening the door for me.

"Like they don't exist," I smiled slightly.

"Anyway, I have a surprise for you," a transparent way of changing the subject.

"What?" I sounded excited in spite of myself.

"Look over there," he pointed over my right shoulder. I turned around.

"Oh My Gosh! How long did it take you to drive up here in this thing?" I laughed and started to walk over to it.

"About three and a half hours, but I got some shut eye for a while." I was now closer to this piece of metal than I had been for two years.

"I missed my truck. It still running well?"

"Yeah, but I think it misses you," He lifted my suitcase into the back of the truck and handed me the keys. I jumped into the driving seat and he hopped into the passenger side. He let out a huge yawn.

"Jake get some sleep. I'll wake you when we get to La Push,"

"When we get to Forks. I need to see Charlie." He started to fall asleep.

The engine roared to life as it always had done. By the time that I had manoeuvred my way around the airport car park, Jake was asleep. I smiled. I had missed Jake so much since I had been away. My werewolf best friend and all of the things associated with him. Emily and Sam had two kids now. Twin girls, Rebecca and Ashleigh. That was one thing at least; they wouldn't inherit the werewolf gene, unless they were like Leah. Paul imprinted in Rachel Black something that Billy and Jake weren't too happy about. He was around their house all the time. Seth and Leah were still coming to terms with the fact that their mum was getting married to the 'Vampire Girl's Father, but of course Dad knew nothing about the Cullen's in that way. I was going to get two siblings. I didn't mind Seth but Leah... She was also Sue's bridesmaid. I heard Mike was going to be there too, he had become the deputy to the police force in Forks. He had gotten married to a girl, but I don't recall ever hearing her name. It was nice that he had found someone. But I never would. Edward may not be in my life anymore, but he had sure made it hard to live in it.

Just being in this truck brought back memories. The way things ended. He took me out of my truck and into the woods. I suppose coming back to Forks was a kind of Pilgrimage for me. To show that he had been real.

I was staying to house sit at Charlie's until Sunday evening. Then I was coming back up to Hoquiam to get the 10pm flight. Then I would be back in Sitka by 12pm Alaskan Time and then take about an hour to get back in the Ferrari. Thinking about this, had made the time fly and I was Entering Forks before I knew it. The sign that I had never welcomed before I had come to live here, was the same as ever. And everything was green, too green, like it had been the last time. Even though I hadn't been here in months, I didn't forget the way to my house. Looking at the familiar sites that lay around Forks, was nice. The poorly stocked Library, the Newton's hiking store, my first job, the woods, and the diner. Places I had spent time in, for a while at least. We were having the reception at my house in Forks, a big gazebo had been set up outside, in the back yard. Of course bordering the forest. Since I had come to Forks, all those years ago, I had become a lot more tolerant of the forest, and the cold. It was raining of course but I liked it.

As I pulled into my old street, I could see the Charlie's house, it was draped with white ribbon a twinkly lights, they weren't turned on yet, but they would be when it got dark. I smiled to myself; Charlie was finally going to be happy, since Renée left. I was happy for him; she had replaced me and my culinary skills. I saw people stare, or heads turned when they saw me approaching in my noisy truck coming down the road. Jake was snoring, I really didn't want to wake him, but he had been sleeping for three hours. I pulled into the driveway and turned off the engine. I sighed looking at the house, it looked the same as ever, give or take a few tiles had been worn a little.

"Jake, wake up," I punched him lightly on the arm, he didn't even stir. His hot skin made the milliseconds of contact with it, sweat. I sighed, "Jakey, Jake –a – doodle, Jacob," I held his nose. He stirred now. His eyes flittered open. He looked confused, but then he saw my face and he shot me one of his famous smiles.

"How long was I out for?" he stretched.

"Three hours give or take a few minutes," I opened the driver's door and hopped out. Jake got out of the passenger side and onto the driveway. Jake got my suitcase out of the back of the truck as I walked towards the house and knocked on the door. It took a minute for someone to answer, and when it did it wasn't even Charlie.

"Bella! How are you?" Seth gave me a hug, which knocked the wind out of me, and twirled me around in a circle.

"I'm good Seth, did you grow again?" he put me down making me look up to him.

"Bella everyone grows around here, you here for Charlie I presume?" he put his arm around my shoulders and started to walk around the house. It had been redecorated. The cabinets were no longer yellow, but red, and now had laminate flooring instead of floorboards.

"Yeah, not that I didn't want to see you Seth. Jeez, you lot have been busy. Redecorate the whole house?"

"Just the floor in your room. There was some stuff under the floorboards by the way," we started to walk up the stairs.

"Probably just crap. Did you throw it away?"

"Most of the Crap yeah, but we left the stuff that me might have wanted to keep on your bed,"

"You had floorboard crap sitting on my bed?"

"We cleaned it first!" he tried to reason. We walked past my room, past the bathroom and stopped outside Charlie's room. Seth Knocked on the door, "Charlie are you decent?" he laughed.

"Of course I am, why?" he laughed as well, it was nice to hear him laugh.

"Because I have a surprise for you," he opened the door. I went in first.

"Hey Dad," I smiled, as did he. He walked over to me and gave me a big hug.

"Bells. How are you, I spoke to you yesterday, but it's not the same as seeing you,"

"I know dad, it's been too long." We broke away and looked at each other. "Getting married huh? Did you honestly think that I was going to miss this?"

"I'm glad you're here Bella. Have you been eating enough? You're looking a little skinny," I smiled.

"Dad, I am perfectly fine. Everything is good, but today is your day. You ready to get married?"

"Yeah Sue, is like my other half." He smiled to himself.

"Good I had to ask. And decorating too by the looks of it,"

"Yeah some of the boys at the rez came down and done it while we were away for Easter. Good kids, but nothing on you Bella," I squeezed his hand and smiled.

"It's nice being back here. Familiar," I looked around the room.

"I wish you would come home more often Bella, I'm lonely without you," he laughed.

"Don't be silly dad. You are about to inherit another Family. You shall soon forget about me,"

"I could never forget you kid. Bella, I know I don't say this enough but." He took a deep breath. "I love you Bells," he smiled.

"I love you too Dad," I hugged him tightly. "So seen as you are ready, I should be getting ready at least.

"Suppose so. We have two hours but an hour and a half should be a safe bet,"

"Ok, will be ready ASAP." I smiled at my dad and walked out of his room. I sighed, my Dad was finally moving on from Renée, and Jake was now firmly in the friend zone, Angela was getting Married, Mike was married and it felt like I was the only person in my high school crowd that had not moved on. Oh well, I will be a spinster. I opened the door to my room. It was virtually untouched. Except the floor which was laminate. Seth was right; he and the guys on the rez had left some stuff in a box, labelled 'Bella's Floorboard Crap'. I laughed. I picked it up, and placed it on my desk. My suitcase had been left on my bed. I opened it, and there was my golden bridesmaid dress. I never wore dresses. It took me half an hour just to get into it. I couldn't quite zip it up.

"Stupid zipper," I tried to pull it up. I pulled it down instead. "Ugh, this is when you need a guy to help you," It got caught on some of the material that held up my flesh coloured stockings. I turned around around in frustration. This was the reason that I never wore dresses. Then suddenly I felt a pair of ice cold hands on my shoulders, then pulled up the zipper all the way. They then vanished. I turned around quickly. No-one was there. Hm. I shook my head.

"Impossible," I sighed. If it was Edward, then Jake would have smelt him.

I pulled my hair up into a sophisticated bun, with gold pins. And Stiletto heels. I had learnt especially for the occasion, and Emmett had enjoyed seeing me fall over. I missed them already. An hour, an hour it had taken me to get ready. I felt ashamed. I looked at myself in the mirror. It would do.

The box caught my eye again. I walked over to it. I opened it. There wasn't anything of great interest in there. An old ring, which I had been looking for, for a while now. A bracelet, necklace, and an old photo of me and Renée. But then something did catch my eye.

A CD in its case, a few photo's in a photo album, and some thick paper with an immense amount of fine print. No, it couldn't be. I took the CD in my hands, they were shaking. I looked over and opened my stereo, with the CD compartment. I pushed it in and leant on the table. The first song was played on the piano. A familiar song. I gasped and let it play on. If I remembered correctly, then my lullaby would be next. It was beautiful. Esme's composition. It changed to, as I predicted, to my song. I put my hand to my mouth to stop the sobs escaping. I went back to the box and opened the photo album. It was of him. On my 18th birthday. Before he left me. I looked at the paper, the tickets for me and Edward to go to Jacksonville.

Why had he left them here? Why didn't he just take them with him? I would never have found them. Did he plan for this to happen? All these question rushed around in my brain so that it hurt to think. My thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door.

"Come in!" I said, trying not to sob again.

"Bella, it's time to go," Jake was there. I nodded; I stuffed the photos back into its album with the plane tickets. "Are you ok Bella?" he asked as I turned off my Lullaby.

"Yeah, I'm uh fine, just reminiscing. So uh let's witness a marriage," I ran out of that room as quickly as my stiletto clad feet would carry me.


	7. Chapter 7

I sipped the champagne, from the Champagne flute. Dad and Sue were having their first dance, you and me by Lifehouse. I sighed. Jacob had gone to talk to Billy and Seth and Leah were busy preparing the car for the Honeymooners. But Dad was happy and that was all that mattered.

"Bella Swan?" I cheerful voice from behind me came arose. I turned around to see Mike Newton standing behind me. He had lost practically all of his baby fat, and was good looking enough, for a human.

"Mike Newton? Is that really you?" I smiled despite myself.

"The one and only. Rumours were rife that you were coming back to town for the wedding, at least they are true," he sat down opposite me.

"Well here I am. I hear you're married now. Who's the lucky lady?"

"Yeah, she'll be over in a minute. You here with anybody?" he asked, he didn't really think about me still, in that way, after all this time, and a wife.

"No, all my friends are in Alaska," I sighed, taking some more champagne.

"You should come down more often. It's nice to catch up. How are Angela and Ben?"

"Engaged."

"Wow. A lot of the old High School crowd sticking together then," he looked at me sympathetically.

"Yeah. A lot of that going around," I finished my drink. A waiter came around and I grabbed another flute of champagne, with the strawberry bobbing at the top.

"You still hung up on him Bella?" he himself had a glass.

"I don't know anymore Mike," I ate the strawberry.

"Cullen was a Jackass anyway. His whole family were weirdo's," he was trying to console me I guess.

"Don't talk about the Cullen's like that. They are good, nice people." I was slightly annoyed now. He stared at me. Then looked behind me.

"Bella may I present to you my wife," I turned around and gasped.

"Oh my God! Jess?" she smiled at me, holing her left hand for me to see.

"Yes Bella it's really me," she smiled at me. "Mike can you get me an orange juice please?" she smiled. I stared at her protruding stomach. She was Pregnant, quite far along by the looks of it. Mike left and she took his place.

"Wow Jess it's really good to see you. You finally got him then?" I laughed, she smiled at me.

"Well Bella, after you left, Mike just couldn't resist me anymore and he realised who he belonged with, and it wasn't you," she said in a sickly sweet voice. I laughed.

"Well I am Happy for you guys. You belong together,"

"That's right we do. And soon our family will be complete," she stroked her stomach lovingly.

"Boy of Girl?" I asked, trying not to get pissed off with her tone.

"Both. Twins run in Mike's family," she smiled at me again, "They are due November 27th, but they are probably be early, we were both early, Mike and I,"

"Right, well you look great Jess, they still kicking?"

"Silly Bella, what do you know about pregnancy?" she laughed stiffly.

"More than you think," I said. She glared at me.

"Well I have loads of support, my parents, Mike's parents, the whole towns actually, are you here with anybody?" she sneered.

"No, I'm here for my Dad."

"Oh, well that's ok. I'm sure that you will find someone, eventually," she muttered the last word and took a sip of Champagne from Mike's glass.

"You shouldn't drink during pregnancy, unless you want your Daughter to turn out as Bitchy as you did," I stood up, angrily leaving her behind.

The rain echoed off the top of the Marquee. More couples had joined Dad and Sue on the dance floor. Paul and Rachel, Quill was holding the now four year old Claire in his arms, and dancing in a circle, Sam and Emily and Jared and Kim. Just to name a few. I paused Dad was happy, everybody was happy here, even Jess, she had won the competition for Mike, one that I had not even entered. Maybe it was time for me to be happy, finally let go of Edward Cullen. I sighed. I bumped into someone.

"Sorry," I went to move on through the crowds but I was held back.

"Whoa Bella, where you off to?" Jacob. Just the person I needed to see.

"Jake, can you come with me for a second?" I asked sweetly, suddenly remembering something I had needed to ask him.

"Sure," I pulled him back towards the house and into the deserted living room.

"Okay Jake, this may sound like an odd question but you know earlier, when you came to get me to go to the church?"

"Yeah, you were listening to that CD. What about it?"

"Did I have any fresh Vampire Scents on me?" I tapped my wrist impatiently.

"No, I smelt the pixie that came here like two years ago, but even that was stale, at least 10 hours old at the time, Why?" he asked raising an eyebrow.

"No reason, just didn't want to cause any discomfort at the wedding," I lied. He wasn't going to buy it. "Just go back and enjoy the party." I urged.

"What are you planning Bella?" he asked again.

"Nothing, I will be out in a moment," He narrowed his eyes then turned around.

If I didn't have any fresh Vampire scents on me, which meant the Edward had not been in my room today. It was something about being in Forks. The Hallucinations, the voices, the stuff... I hadn't even gotten voices when I went to Alaska, let alone the hallucinations. Being in Forks, in Washington, and being in danger enabled me to have the hallucinations. Because that was when I had been with him. It all made sense now. But did that make me want to stay in Forks, or get out of here, running and screaming?

"Bella? Charlie and Sue are leaving," A knock on the door informed me.

"Thanks Quill, I'll be right out," he smiled. I turned to go back into the yard, but if it was just being in Forks that made me get the voices in my head, then I prayed that one more thing did not return.

**OOOOOOOOOO**

I woke up in my bed, screaming. Like I had before I had left. This was the thing that I had hoped would never return. But it had. Figures. It was 5:30 in the morning. I had a major clean up ahead of me, but I didn't want to start yet. I grabbed my toiletries bag and left for the shower. The hot water washed away my tears. At least nobody would hear me scream here. Look what had happened to me, all because of a boy. I washed my hair with my favourite strawberry shampoo and conditioner. Willing it to take me away from everything here. Wishing that Edward had not come into my life, just to walk back out of it again. Wanting to turn back time, just to spend one more moment with him, to plead with him not to go. I don't know how long I was in there for, but I only got out of the Shower when I had used all of the hot water. I groaned. It reminded me of Edward. My hair was wet that first night he had stayed with me, to avoid suspicion with Charlie.

Get a hold of yourself Swan, you are a strong, confident woman, who does not need a man to make yourself complete. But it would help along the way.

I got out of the shower, with a towel around my head and one around my body. My room was unseasonably cold. And I turned on the radiators. It was 8am now. It was the weekend, so most of the kids in Forks would be trying to amuse themselves with trips to Port Angeles. Like I had, before Edward had left me. I got dressed, there were clothes still here, and my suitcase was just my bridesmaid dress. I got changed into a pair of jeans and a loose green sweater. I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked tired, just like I had done before I had left for college. Although that was for a different reason, not that I knew it at the time. I frowned.

I saw Edward standing behind me, smiling. I turned to face him.

"You always did look beautiful Bella, you have to start looking at yourself in a more positive light." He was wearing the same thing that he was wearing the day he had left.

"And you are not real. Are you going to be around for the next two days, making up for the past two years worth of recklessness?" I put my hands on my hips.

"Obviously. Did you enjoy my gifts Bella?" he smiled.

"They were gifts from _my_ family, not you," I reasoned. I was having a conversation with a figment of my imagination. Wow, I was desperate for company.

"The CD was from me, you seemed to enjoy that." He sat in my rocking chair, like he had so many times before.

"Are you just going to follow me all day or do I have a choice in the matter," I snarled, my fingers itching for my cell phone. Jake was just a phone call away.

"No, just when you need me," he laughed.

"Then you can leave now," I growled.

"Okay and he faded away.

That was odd, like a ghost, flitting in an out of my life like he didn't care. I frowned slightly and walked out of the room and downstairs to the kitchen. Making some cereal. I sat down at the table, and then something strange happened.

Like I went back in time. The last time he was here, whilst we were watching Romeo and Juliet. Me pleading with him never to hurt himself over me and him agreeing. Well now I hoped that he would. Make him suffer the way I have done. Let him hurt himself. I groaned, stabbing my cereal with my spoon.

"Stupid, noble, vampire," I muttered. My phone vibrated. It was Alice.

"Hey Alice, to what do I owe this pleasure?" I asked, eating my cereal.

"Oh no reason, just wanted to see how you were. I hate being in the dark," she laughed.

"Well me too, it's called being human. How is everybody? I haven't spoken to Emmett in a while, or Jasper." I played with my cereal.

"Well they are doing pretty well. Jasper is with Carlisle and Esme hunting, and Emmett," she sighed, "well you are about to find out," I smiled to myself subconsciously.

"I want to talk to her," I heard a far off voice yell in the distance.

"Here, talk to her, but I need that back after you have finished," Alice's voice grew fainter.

"Alice?" I asked into the receiver.

"No Emmett. Jeez Bella, I should think that you know my name by now. Em-mett! Two syllables, starts with an 'E' ends with a 'T'. Emmett, Emmett, Emmett. Woop, woop!" he cheered like a cheerleader.

"Ok, ok Emmett, I know who you are. What have you been up to then? Come across any Grizzly's lately?" I finished my cereal, and put it in the sink. Leant on the counter.

"No, they aren't good yet. Going into hibernation, not coming out of it. I've had to make do with deer and Elk, the occasional Lynx if I am lucky. You found any good animals yet?" he boomed a laugh.

"No, but I found Jessica Stanley. Oh sorry, make that Jessica Newton," I snarled.

"Jessica Newton? Oh no, Mike caved? He could do so much better than that little she devil," he said pityingly.

"What have you got against her? She stalk you or something?"

"Not exactly, but she wasn't very nice anyway. Whore. Shall I come down there and kill her?" he laughed.

"No. It's okay, or at least wait until after Thanksgiving. When her twins are born. Which she is so proud of obviously, wow she can carry Children. Good for her, she must be the first woman to do so!" I bitched.

"Newton got her pregnant? Jeez, didn't know he had it in him. Well it's only until tomorrow afternoon anyway. Then you can come home."

"Any word from Edward yet?" I groaned.

"Um yeah. How did you know?" he sounded surprised.

"I didn't. What did he send a smoke signal, or a flare?" I growled.

"No, he used a cell phone. We are not at the turn of the century anymore."

"Emmett you were never at the turn of the century. You were born in 1915," I rose an eyebrow.

"Don't raise your eyebrows at me Bella Swan. Anyway, the news on Eddie boy, you want to know or not?" it was freaky how he knew I had risen my eyebrows. I grabbed my keys and walked out of the front door and into my truck.

"You're going to tell me anyway right?" I sat down, but didn't start the engine.

"Well he said he was on his way up, and would be here Thanksgiving break,"

"Well I am away then so I may just not come back," I thought out loud.

"Now Alice is coming with you." He sniggered.

"I was kidding. Please tell her I was kidding!" I pleaded. "It's too late; she can't wait to meet Little Anthony Dwyer." I groaned, but it beat being all on my own in an unfamiliar city.

"Great, Renée will love that," I sighed, she really would.

"By the way, Anthony? Does your Mom know that was Edward's middle name?"He sounded concerned.

"It's my cross to bear, but it's not the point. Mom is happy, Phil is happy, Anthony is happy, Dad's happy, everybody's happy. So whenever I see Anthony, all I see is Edward, I can get over it." I started the engine. It roared to life.

"You still have the truck! Wow, do you still have the stereo I bought you?"

"Um...Sure," I lied.

"Where are you going today?"

"Around."

"Cool, can you stop by my house and get me something, last time I was there; we left in a wee bit of a hurry." He asked. Go by the Cullen's? After all this time? It must be important or he wouldn't ask me.

"What do you need?" I groaned internally

"Well, can you get some of my clothes, they are brand new and have never even been worn, we bought them back from Africa, they are still in the wrapping and everything. Ooh, Ooh and the pictures are in there too. They are under the bed." he pleaded

"Okay, okay Emmett, I'll get them for you, is there anything that Alice needs?"

"NO!" Emmett yelled down the line.

"Oh yes Bella, can you pick up some of the photos in my bedside table, and in the back of my closet, go right to the back, then make a left, there will be a green body bag, it covers a very important piece of clothing. Don't look at it, but you must get it ok?" she grabbed the phone off of him. Then went very stern.

"Yes, ok, ok. I will get it. I'm on my way now." I said, backing out of my driveway.

"Are you Bella? Are you really?"

"It's on my to do list," I reasoned, driving down my street.

"I'm going to hang up now Bella," and she hung up. Finally some peace.

It was strange driving through Forks. Proper driving. I went to the Thriftway and stocked up on some 'lady products' for the rest of the weekend. Also so stationary for the essays back at college. Trying to busy myself here was just like it was after Alice left. But I was not going to go to Port Angeles. At least not by myself. I loaded up the truck and made my way to the Cullen's. But just as I was about to get in, my stomach lurched again. It was so painful it wasn't even funny. This could not be normal. But it would probably be gone soon. And if it got so bad that I couldn't stand then, and only then, would I get a medical consultation.

I took a few deep breaths and in a few minutes it had disappeared .For now at least. I turned on the engine and left the Thrift way, driving to the Cullen's house. It took an age, but that was because it I didn't go faster than 30 miles an hour and I went around the corners extra carefully. I was delaying myself deliberately. I really didn't want to be here but Emmett and Alice needed this. So I took the turning that led to the house. It seemed even longer than I remembered. But then I saw it. Lawn overgrown, probably had snakes in it or something like that. I parked in front of the driveway, the only flat surface in the front of the house. I got out of the truck. Now it had dawned on me, how was I supposed to get into the house? Then my phone vibrated. A text message from Alice. _'Key under the mat. A x' _That girl thought of everything. I walked over to the door, and under the mat, was a key to the front door. My hands were shaking as I put it into the lock, it twisted easily and I walked right in.

The view made me intake a breath. It was like they had never left. There were pots and pans all over the kitchen. Like they had just popped out. There were still photos up. Some of me and the Cullen's. Some of the most recent Weddings. I saw Rosalie's looked like it was in New Years Eve 1999. Wow. Carlisle and Esme's most recent wedding was in 1987 by the looks of it, that and it said, 1987 on frame. September 15th, I was 2 days old. How had I not noticed these when I was here? Because they were on the staircase, and had not really looked then. Jasper and Alice's wedding in Vegas. What a hypocrite. She could plan extravagant parties for everybody but her. Ugh, I am so using that against her.

Anyway, I got to the third floor and met the row of rooms, not looking to my right; I went straight to Emmett and Rosalie's room. I looked like a bomb had hit it. Things were strewn all over the floor, things were thrown over like there was nothing to be said, now you could tell they had just upped and left. I tried to walk over to the bed but I fell twice. I crawled over to the bed, and there it was. I dragged it out. It was heavy. On top were indeed several photos of Rosalie in a skimpy bathing suit. Eww. Once I had it out of the room, I pushed it lightly across the floor to the edge of stairs.

I walked across the hall to Alice and Jasper's room. This one was cleaner; I grabbed the photos from her bedside table, and then proceeded to her huge closet. It was twice the size of my room back home, at Charlie's , rows of shoes, belts, suitcases, handbags, make up, dresses, jeans, skirts, socks. The list went on. I went to the back, and there was a green body bag, it was hanging low down, like she had just gotten it. I held it over my arm and walked out of Alice's room .I got to hall, and went to get Emmett's stuff, but something rolled out of his bag. Right down the hall, past Carlisle's study, and right into the slightly ajar door of Edward's room. I sighed. I really didn't want to go in there, but it was for Emmett. So I placed the box and the clothing and photos on top of the box. I walked to the door quickly but paused as I touched the knob but twisted it open.

I tried to not look in it, honestly I did, but I couldn't help it. It was like he had never left. The Music on the shelves had a thick layer of dust; the leather sofa had a layer of dust. Then next to it, was a photo frame, two of them. I wiped the dust off of it; it was a photo of me, trying to get him to stop taking photos. I looked so happy. I nearly started to cry, but I put it back where it was and took the next one. It was of me and Edward, kissing. I burst out crying; I threw it on the floor and ran out of the room. How dare he still have that! But I forgot about the box, and the last thing I remember was falling over the box and into the darkness...


	8. Chapter 8

My head was throbbing badly when I began to come around. Like there were drums banging incessantly all around me. I was still in the darkness, it felt like a terrible hangover. It shouldn't be this bad; I had fallen down the stairs many times before. It felt like a familiarity to me. This only happened to me only when something was wrong. I tried to open my eyes, they fluttered, when I opened them, I saw a figure bending down over me, one with butterscotch eyes. His cold hands rubbed my cheek slowly. I closed them again. When they opened he had gone. Just my imagination working over time. I looked over my body. My legs were sprawled over the stairs. My head had collided with a corner. As I result, a large and prominent pool of blood circled my head, some on the white wall, it stood out badly. I groaned. But hey, when they came back here in seventy years, it would just look like paint, and I would be ninety.

Emmett's evil box of African souvenirs had travelled down the two flights of stairs, and Alice's clothes. At least I didn't have to talk upstairs again. I groaned and tried to sit up. Not stand. That would not be wise. I had to pace myself. Slowly, or I would just topple down the stairs again. It was dark outside now. Not a good sign. It was 3pm when I had looked at my cell phone last. I flipped it open.2 am. Shit. 75 missed calls, 15 text messages and 5 voice mails. Not good. I listened to the first voice message. It was from Carlisle.

"Bella, its Carlisle. Listen Alice just told you that you are not answering her calls; she's gone upstairs to pack. Listen as soon as you get this message." The line went dead. Poor Carlisle. Why was Alice packing? The next one was from Esme, who sounded close to tears.

"Bella? Please pick up the phone. You are going to be fine sweetheart, it's all going to be fine." She broke down into sobs. Then went dead. What was going on? I touched my head. I went to the next voicemail. Jasper. That was unexpected.

"Bella, Don't worry, I will not be overcome like I was when you were 18," that was all he said. Okay, what the hell was going on? Emmett this time.

"Dude, trust you of all people to do this," he laughed, "See you at soon," the line went dead with his booming laugh. What did he mean? I stood up slowly, the room was fine. I pulled the box down the stairs, and then pushed it down the final flight, holding the clothes bag in my hand. I pushed the box down the stairs, getting the final voice message. Alice.

"Alice unless you get back to me by 4is, then Carlisle and I will come down there," she threatened. So that was it. I had plenty of time. But it was 2:15 now. I dialled her number. She picked up straight away.

"Bella? Are you okay?" she sounded worried.

"Yeah, I'm fine, a little bruised and I think I sprained my ankle but other than that I am fine," I reached the bottom floor. The box lay threateningly at the bottom; I kicked it over to the front door and opened it. The truck seemed a mile away, I groaned.

"Oh, do you need me down there?" she sounded excited.

"No!" I practically yelled down the phone. She Hmpfed, "I will see you tonight Alice," I comforted.

"Actually, this afternoon," she sounded happy.

"No, my flights at 10pm," I rose my eyebrow.

"No, I pushed you forward to a 2pm flight. You'll be back by 4pm," she sang down the phone.

"Alice, how?" I growled. Hauling Emmett's box into the passenger seat.

"You're going in the Cullen private jet," she sighed.

"Since when do you all have a private jet?" I said, slightly out of breath.

"Edward bought it for us, to apologize for being such a jackass these past two years. Yesterday actually, you will be the first passenger. Are you excited?" she actually sounded enthusiastic.

"Yes, delighted. Flying in a jet, bought by someone who despises me. But yeah, ecstatic." I climbed in the driver's side, I felt lethargic.

"Bella, he doesn't despise you, he is just misinformed. He loves you very much." She lied to me.

"Of course he did. I mean _does_, any news where he is?" I asked, leaning back on the seat. I shouldn't be sleeping.

"Jacksonville, Florida. Then Nebraska next week. Saskatchewan in two weeks, British Columbia in three weeks, and here, in four," she recited. She knew.

"Well I am not going to be here in four weeks. I'll be in Jacksonville," I replied.

"Oh yeah, I'm coming with you," she squealed.

"Alice that really isn't necessary. I'll be fine," I protested.

"Like you were fine alone in Forks?" I could feel her eyebrows rise.

"That was an unfortunate incident," I tried.

"Bella you can hardly stop yourself from falling over. What about poor Anthony?" she asked.

"Um, you will have to stay inside all day," I was picking at straws now.

"I have lived that way before, I can live that way again,"

"Are you going to give up?" I moaned.

"No, did you get my very important piece of clothing?" she added at the end.

"Yes, it's fine. What is it anyway?" I looked at it. Turning on the engine, and driving down the driveway.

"Something that will be needed in a few months ok? Let nothing more be said about it. Are you driving?"

"I feel like I am going to collapse, your voice keeps me awake," I yawned. It was nearly three at this point.

"You're not allowed to sleep until 2pm," she sang again. Stupid 12 hour rule.

"I'll have some coffee tonight, watch some tv. Maybe some exercise." I yawned again, pulling onto the highway. It was practically deserted.

"I think that it is wise for me to stay talking to you. I see no trouble and you'll be home in half an hour. Tell me, what's going on?"

"With what?" I looked at the street.

"Just in general," she added. We talked for 4 hours, until 7am. I was so tired by the end of it. I had had at least 7 cups of coffee and Alice had to go somewhere, to talk to, a guy called Alex. I flopped onto my sofa, wanting to go to sleep. But not being able to, having had so much caffeine. I couldn't take any Tylenol for the pain, as it would make me sleepy, so I had to bear with it. So I hauled myself upstairs into the shower. I took off my clothes, and turned the water on .It was freezing cold, thus making me stay awake. But then I would be able to sleep on the plane. Just think of the plane, and the nice comfortable beds that Alice had promised me. They had organised a car to come for me. At 12, so I had 5 hours to kill. It would take me an hour to get ready and packed, and then I suppose if I needed to, I could clean up the house.

I stayed in the shower for two hours, I was so delirious I quickly brushed my teeth and stepped out of the shower. I was still tired, stupid head injury, and risk of concussion... I wrapped a towel around me again and went back to my room. Ignoring the comfortable bed that lay ahead of me and stumbled over to the wardrobe to pick something to wear. I picked a plaid top with some jeans. I wasn't going anywhere. Jake was coming down later to take over from me anyway. I yawned, looking out of my window. Charlie's cruiser was sitting outside and my truck looking as fierce as ever. My phone rang. It had a withheld number.

"Hello? Bella Swan speaking," I groaned. There was a long pause. Had the mysterious person hung up? "Hello?" my voice broke into a cough.

"Bella baby what happened?" Renée asked, her voice sounded afraid.

"Just remember that I am alright," I pleaded with her. Rubbing the back of my head.

"Ok, what happened," she sounded impatient.

"I um, well I went to a friend's to pick something up, I uh, fell down two flights of stairs, hit my head on a corner and I sprained my ankle," I laughed.

"Why are you laughing Bella?" she growled. Renée never growled at me. "This is serious Bella. You could have a concussion, serious head trauma, loss of blood, psychological repression," This really didn't sound like Renée. But having another kid brought out the worst in her.

"You sound like Edward," I mumbled.

"What baby?" she had cheered up now.

"It's just; he used to make sure that I was safe. Embarrassingly so." I grumbled.

"Well Phil is calling. I will speak to you soon, Bye Bella,"

"Love you Mom,"

"I love you too Bella. So much. See you sweetheart," the line went dead. A lot of that was going around lately. I threw it back onto my bed. Tempted to throw myself on it. I resisted, and went to sit on my rocking chair. It was so inviting to sleep, get under that wave of lethargic tendencies. I sat down for ten minutes. So many things had happened in this room. I had discovered Jake was a werewolf. I had discovered Edward was a vampire. I had gotten ready for my father's wedding in here. Edward had sat on this very chair. I widened my eyes and jumped up from it. Edward wasn't worth it. I begrudgingly began to start packing. I folded my bridesmaid's dress, still into the garment bag; it took up most of the room, like it had before. I put in the stuff that was left in under my floorboards with it, except for the CD, I would put that in my carryon luggage, with my CD player, it was contained Wuthering Heights and a sleeping mask, it was a black shoulder bag, I walked back into the bathroom to get my toiletries bag and shoved it unnecessarily into my suitcase. I sat on it to close the suitcase, it wasn't needed, but I was that bored. 11 am and I still had another hour to go. There wasn't much to clean, just the laundry and dishes. I hand dried them twice. It was tiring. I wasn't really in the mood for TV and I didn't have much to do. Then it dawned on me.

I grabbed my keys and ran out of the door. It was raining heavily. It pounded down on my wound and the hair on my face began to stick to it. It didn't stop me though, like it wouldn't have mattered to him. I went to the place, in the forest, where it ended. Where it would alter my life forever.

It pained me to be here, like the hole in my heart was ripped open again, but I liked it, I had for a while now. I got off on depression. Giving out the strong, confident woman that I pretended to be. But it was the tear filled nights, the hollowness of my life now.

I had become a good liar. I had to be.

To keep the shrinks out, and the friends in. But never too much. Angela had been really good for me but even she didn't know how deep it was, how it felt like, not to see in colour, like my life was in Black and White. It had been for a long time. It was nice being back here, like the colour had returned, for a brief moment. I smiled to myself. Edward may have moved on, and I was trying, lord knows I was. I turned on myself and returned to the house.

I had been longer than I had intended. The driver had just pulled up, his windscreen wipers, running frantically. I must have looked a sight.

"Miss Swan?" He rolled down the window.

"Um, yes," I said, bending over to see him more clearly, he was a middle aged man, with areas of his hair turning grey. His forehead had several more lines than it should have, and he had a beer Belly.

"I am here to take to you to Hoquiam Airport?" he asked, getting an umbrella out.

"Yes, let me just grab my things. Don't worry about it. I'll be just one minute." He smiled at me. I ran back to my house, Emmett's box and Alice's Garment bag and pictures. They were sitting by the door, where I had left them. I took it out to the man, whose name was Daniel. He was puffing away trying to fit it all into the trunk of the car. I went back to my room to get my carryon luggage and suitcase. I shut the door, bidding a silent farewell to it. I turned on my heels and left Charlie's house.

Daniel opened the back door and I stepped into the car. The rain pounding down. I opened Wuthering heights, starting to read. It was going to be a long ride to Hoquiam airport, so I may as well get started. Get away from everything that reminds me of Edward. Apart from his family. They were my family now. Esme told me so, and now I felt like I belonged, just itching to get back to them. My friends. My life.


	9. Chapter 9

I cringed as I walked into the Cullen's private jet. Like people knew it wasn't really for me. The steps that led up to the plane. I walked straight into a corner table. What kind of plane has a corner table? Oh yeah, private jets. I continued through the hallway, which led to a large room. It had one, large inviting bed. My eyes widened in anticipation. So pretty. I nearly ran over to it, but I restrained myself and walked calmly over to it. It also held two plasma televisions, and ten armchairs. Well for guests I suppose. It had three tables, some weights, for weight lifting, Emmett, obviously. Also a computer for Alice. It had cream carpets on it and it had another three rooms further down. I didn't look in them. Credit where Credit was due, Edward could pick a plane.

I had been on here for ten minutes now and was waiting for the pilot to board. I sat on the bed. I wasn't going to sleep until we had taken off. Then I would get three hours of sleep, and then I could sleep through the night. I smiled to myself. I sat down on one of the armchairs, and continued to look around the plane, with my eyes.

I noticed there was a photo, of the Cullen's. It looked about twenty years old. The Cullen's in the eighties. Hilarious. I got up and picked it up Emmett was wearing a tee shirt saying 'Stop Vietnam!' and wearing a wide smile, his hands around Rosalie's waist, who was fashioning a classic eighties perm, hot pink leggings and a large tie dye shirt. Wow, Rosalie in the eighties... Jasper and Alice were both smiling adoringly into each other's eyes, Jasper wearing a purple jumpsuit. Alice looked a lot more normal, a dress a blue dress. She always looked pretty. I sighed. Esme was wearing a lilac suit and holding two hands. The hands of her Husband and her oldest son. Edward was sporting his trademark crooked smile, and wearing a grey suit. He looked depressed, like he was putting it on. I shook my head. Carlisle looked so happy, wearing his lab coat and some scrubs. I wondered what year it had been taken. Thinking about this made my head hurt. I touched the place where I had been hit on the head. Stupid, sharp corners. I put the photo back down and turned around to sit back down in front of one of the televisions. But something blocked my way.

"Carlisle? What are you doing here?" I gave him a hug.

"Well Bella, I didn't like to leave you here, on a plane, on your own. And I had already left Alaska by 2am, so I thought I would just ride back with you," he patted me on the shoulder. He looked over it, where I had just been.

"You didn't need to do that," I laughed.

"1985 the photo was taken." He laughed. "We take one every January 1st every ten years since 1945," He laughed.

"So the last one you took was in 2005?" I asked, looking back over the frame. I was in Phoenix then, getting ready to leave for Forks.

"Yes, that one is in our current home. Because that is the last one Edward was in. And seen as we haven't seen him for two years. Esme has taken it the hardest," he groaned.

"But he's going to be back soon. Esme must be looking forward to it," I smiled for her.

"Well we all are, but I am worried about how you are going to be. You were taking Prozac up until the May after we left .I am worried about you," he looked at me sadly

"It doesn't matter about me. If worse comes to worse, I'll throw myself off of a cliff, problem solved," I expected him to be shocked, but he smiled at me.

"Let's sort out this head injury of yours,"

It needed stitches. 6 stitches. I didn't like it. I had lived with it since 2am, and nothing had happened with it. When Carlisle had finished we had been in the air for five minutes. He said he was going to his study and that he would be out to check on me in a while. Not that I would even know. As soon as he had gone, I crawled to the bed, and I was asleep before my head hit the pillow.

OOOOOOOOOO

The alarm clock buzzed loudly outside my comfort zone. I don't remember there being an alarm clock on the plane. Then I realised, that I wasn't in the plane anymore. I rubbed my eyes wearily, finding that I was back in my new home. I had been changed in to a silk night gown and had been sprawled all over the bed. What time was it? What day is it? How long had I been asleep? I touched my head; the stitches were still there, so it hadn't been a week. I sat up slowly. I picked up my cell phone. Monday morning, I had been sleeping since 2pm yesterday afternoon. Crap. It was 6am. I pulled the covers away from my body and left my comfortable bed behind. I walked, or well stumbled to the shower. It was a power shower and it usually woke me up. It was half an hour later when I got out of the shower. I felt refreshed, the 16 hours sleep I had and the shower had made me feel like an entirely new woman. Running my fingers through my hair, I opened my bedroom door. I gasped.

"Jesus Christ Emmett. Boundaries!" I yelled, feeling that this flimsy towel was not that helpful in covering me up. I gripped it tighter. He was sitting on my bed, flicking through some of the channels on my TV.

"Hm? Oh HAHA. You look clean. How's the head?" he laughed. Turning off the TV.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I growled, fidgeting slightly.

"What? Alice doesn't get this upset when I walk in on her in the shower," He laughed. "And you're not even in the shower. I respected you that much or I would have just walked in, jeez," he stood up, walking to my closet.

"How long have you known Alice for Emmett?"

"Thirty Years, give or take a few months, why?" he boomed a laugh from deep in my closet. I stalked in after him.

"I don't think that you should just come bounding into my room with me barely dressed," I blushed. Finding him holding a red sweater and looking at some jeans, and holding some black high heels. Great, now he knows I can walk in them, he will make me wear them.

"Pssh Bella, it's nothing I haven't seen before. Now here," he thrust the clothes in my hands, "Now go and get dressed, I'm giving you ten minutes before I come out of here."

"Why are you here, so early? Where am I going to be going before 7am?" I angrily replied. He raised his eyebrows, almost irritated and spun me around towards the bedroom pushing me lightly in there.

"Esme wants to see you, Alice was busy, refurbishing her wardrobe and you know Rosalie would rather be burnt alive then be here. So I volunteered, got a problem with that?" he laughed.

"Why, what's wrong? I saw Esme four days ago," I gave up and let him usher me to the bedroom.

"Four days ago, you didn't have a concussion, 8 minutes, I will let you pick your own underwear," he smiled. I nearly growled but I gave in. "Oh and Bella, try not to fall over," I smiled snidely and slammed the door in his face. I picked some matching underwear and was putting on my shoes when Emmett came bounding back into view.

"That was 6 minutes, Emmett, what are you doing with that?" I said with distaste seeing what he was holding.

"Bella, your hair is soaking wet, it will take 10 minutes." He plugged in the hairdryer and it was on before I could protest. I sat there like a child, with my arms folded. Emmett just laughed. I loved Emmett, he was like the big brother I never had. He was always there for me and he knew what to say, but the way he done this, showed that it wasn't the first time he had done this, like he enjoyed it. How? He finished by combing back my hair so it looked like it had been straightened. He smiled, patting my head.

"Ow!" I whispered, trying not to react.

"Oops, sorry, forgot about the stitches," he laughed, taking my hand and pulling me upwards "Come on, it will take two minutes to get there,"

"Emmett? You looked like you enjoyed that, have you done that before?" I laughed as I walked down the stairs.

"I was a hairdresser for a few years in Milan, no big deal. Alice released a fashion line a year or two ago."

"Of course she did," I muttered darkly.

"Shut up Bella, Esme is really looking forward to seeing you and Alice is driving you too school for the next week, so you're going to see a lot of us in the next week."

"I don't like being babysat," I grumbled, heading towards the door.

"Not babysat, spending time with. I haven't seen you for like two weeks and this is the gratitude." He sighed. I went to say something else, but he had scooped me up into his arms and was running up the road, things passing in a blur, I rolled my eyes. This was too familiar, to like Edward. I didn't like it. But this was for Esme. My second mother. I cringed as I thought of seeing the ice queen that was Rosalie. I hadn't seen her for two years. Maybe she would be out.

Emmett was right. It did take two minutes to get there. They lived 8 miles away, so four miles a minute? Jeez. It would have taken me half an hour to get there. Emmett lowered me down carefully and I was walking on the dirty mud path, so many opportunities to fall over, and so few safe routes. I tried not to show my discomfort with it, not to cause problems. It wasn't that far from the house anyway. I could see it from where we had stopped running. It wasn't raining, overcast and misty but not cold. I gasped.

The house? House wasn't the correct interpretation. More like a mansion. Again. Couldn't they just have a house? They had to be so flashy, but hey that was who they were.

"You doing ok there Bella?" Emmett asked, then laughing. I glared at him, as we walked up the drive.

"I hate you, Emmett," I muttered. Putting my hands in my back pocket and my heels clicked on the tarmac.

"Ouch Bella, that hurt," he put his hand on his heart. He shot me a smile, "I love you too Bella," he put his arm around my shoulders. I put mine around his waist, well as much as I could reach. I sighed; we were nearly at the front door. This would make it all too real for me. Edward was going to be walking through these rooms too. He was going to be with these people, his family, and my family.

I suddenly felt a wave of confidence come over me. Everything was going to be fine. Edward wasn't going to be here for a month. A month was a long time away, and I should be happy with the time I had without him.

"Nervous Bella?" Emmett laughed.

"Bite me Emmett," I hissed. He looked at me, close to laughter, then I thought about my statement, "I mean don't bite me. Because you know, um yeah," I blushed Stupid vampires. He laughed anyway as he opened the door. I didn't even have time to look around, because Esme had got me in an inescapable hug.

"Bella, honeys are you ok? You gave us all such a scare. You must promise me. To be careful, not to do anything reckless, to not trip over in those shoes," she laughed. Swinging slightly. The pain in my abdomen surfaced again. I tried my best to ignore it. To not let them know how I was feeling. But it was getting worse as time went on. Why couldn't it just stop?

"Yes Esme, I am sorry ok? I just wasn't paying attention to where I was going. It won't happen again," I laughed.

"Good, because I can't face losing another child," she was going to lose me in like sixty years, she looked me up and down. "Have you eaten?"

"Yes, Of course I have," I laughed.

"Why are you lying Bella?" Emmett called from the other room. Esme raised an eyebrow suspiciously. I looked to the floor. Curse him and is stupid vampire hearing.

"I am not, he's just being difficult," I retaliated.

"You so are it's not even funny. Unless you had something to eat whilst I was in your closet, you are lying," he sang at the end. I heard a laugh. Probably Rosalie. I rolled my eyes. If I was a thousand times stronger, and not so breakable, I would kick as vampire ass. I wished. I smiled at Esme.

"I didn't want to be any trouble," I glared at the direction that Emmett's voice had come from as Esme led me to the kitchen.

"Nonsense Bella, nothings too much trouble for my favourite daughter," she smiled.

"HEY!" I heard two voices from various parts of the house say. Both sounded close.

"I meant human daughter," she winked at me. I laughed. Somebody walked through the door.

"Bella, you have to let up on the anger. Before I attack Emmett for you," Jasper laughed, sitting on the dining table, followed by Alice who looked impressed.

"Bella, your style is improving," she laughed. Esme brought me some pancakes. I smiled at her. She went to the dining table too, ushering Jasper off of it, looking at a blue print. He got off it and looked over it with her.

"Um, thanks..." I went back to eating the pancakes. It was 7:15.

"The shoes are lovely, and the sweater. Classic," I smiled and ate another piece of pancake.

"Bella? Are you taking credit for something I did?" Emmett bounded into the room.

"I'm not taking credit for you having sex with Rosalie," I said before I could stop myself. Jasper Laughed. I looked back to my pancakes, Rose did not look happy.

"So the kitten can roar can she? Well then, let's do this." He laughed. What does this mean? I looked at Alice; she walked over to touch my shoulders. What was he going to say?

"I'm okay Emmett, unlike you; I don't have eternity to act like a Jackass. So I should probably get on with eating my beautiful pancakes," I smiled, putting another piece in my mouth. Smiling, in spite of him.

"Ooh, well then maybe you should leave and don't come back, stop pining after Edward. And leave this family alone!" I voice said. Now I was angry. But it wasn't Emmett's voice, but that from the right. Everybody stopped what they were doing. That was why Alice had come over here. To comfort me. But I wasn't going to give Rosalie the satisfaction.

"If that's how you feel Rosalie," I got up slowly, feeling everybody's eyes on me, and headed towards the front door. I heard someone come behind me, "Don't follow me Alice!" I shouted. Slamming the front door. It was raining heavily now, my scent couldn't be followed. It gave me an idea. I flung off my shoes, and ran away from the beautiful house. As fast as my legs could carry me.

_Esme POV_

It had been two hours since Bella had left my house. Rosalie was of course pleased with herself, that was until Emmett had flung her out into the mud and the rain, and was now taking a shower. Listening to 'Sexy, naughty Bitchy me,' by Tara Young. I was cleaning up the living room, or well rearranging it. Jasper and Alice had gone after her, but couldn't tell what direction she had gone in. If she had followed the road, or run straight into the forest. It was raining.

Emmett was watching something trivial on the TV, to distract himself. He had grown very close to Bella this past month. Like she was his own flesh and blood. Although he actually didn't have flesh...or blood. I sighed. None of this would have happened if Edward had not left her. Not one of his proudest moments. My phone buzzed. I smiled when I saw the number. I flipped it open.

"Hello sweetheart, to what do I owe this pleasure?" Leaned on the living room table, looking out of the window, seeing the raging storm continue, my heart panged for Bella.

"Hey Mom," I loved it when he called me that, "Just wondering, you know where the private jet was? The one I bought," he sounded agitated.

"It's here, in Alaska."

"Why is it up there? I needed it now," he groaned.

"Edward what's the matter? You're worrying me now," I rubbed my head. He sighed.

"You can't tell anybody Esme, not even Carlisle," he said quickly.

"Of course, it's not the first secret I kept for you."

"I am going to Forks," he sighed. Panic entered my body.

"Why? I thought you were coming home," I pleaded.

"I am, I just need to see Bella. Just one more time, then I will come home. She'd be twenty now," he said, as if asking to be forgiven.

"But she's not there," I blurted out. Darn. Maybe he wouldn't pick up on that.

"What do you mean she's not there?" he sounded edgy.

"She's probably at college somewhere, like you said, she's twenty now," I tried to save myself, thankfully he couldn't read my mind from here.

"You sound like you know how she is," he was getting too close to the truth now.

"Don't be absurd Edward," I defended myself. "Why would I know where she is?"

"I know, sorry Esme .I was being ludicrous, of course you of all people would respect my wishes,"

"Of course darling. Have you hunted lately?" I asked.

"Yesterday, have you?" I could hear his eyebrow rise.

"A couple of weeks ago,"

"And Jasper? Has he?" he sounded bitter.

"Yes, he's been extra careful, since the incident," I protected my other son.

"So he should be," I heard thunder a mile away. Bella, where are you?

"He is trying Edward. Be a bit sympathetic. You were like that, I remember all too well," I reminisced when he returned to Carlisle and I in 1936. With ruby red eyes.

"Yes well, that was a long time ago, where is he anyway?" he asked. I was thankful for the change of subject from Bella. And right on cue he entered from the back door. Sopping wet from the rain.

"We can't find Bella anywhere! We have been looking for two hours, it's the storm. She picked a hell of a time to do a runner. Alice is still searching, but she saw you were getting worried. And that I should give you an update." He said, at a human tone, I froze. A huge clap of thunder echoed in the silence from the kitchen.

Edward was still on the end of the phone. I picked up the phone again, silence, but it was still in the call, and all I heard was heavy breathing.

"Her head injury isn't going to help either. Concussion can make people delirious, she may not even know where she is going." He added.

SHUT UP JASPER SHUT UP!

"Esme why do you feel so tense?" he added. Emmett Entered.

"Bells is still out there? I was supposed to be singing with her tonight. I am going out to look for her. She shouldn't be out there she's so fragile. She may be lying in a ditch somewhere? Unconscious." He pulled on a coat.

The perfect thing to say with Edward listening.

"She's not at home, and Angela hasn't heard from her either. Nor has Ben or Garry." He recited. "stupid rain washed away her scent," Jasper kicked the floor.

"Alice can't see her future either. I am getting worried," Jasper informed us. Bella, please be okay, I prayed that anyone was listening. "We could just wait for the storm to die down, but that's going to be another 4 hours,"

"I'm coming with you, let me get my jacket," I finally talked.

"Esme, who's on the phone?" Emmett asked. I pushed the phone back to my ear, I heard Edward, not talking to me, but to someone else, at the airport.

"I don't care how much it costs; I want the next flight to Alaska." He growled.


	10. Chapter 10

The storm was raging around me. It was pouring with rain, and my hair was soaked through so that it looked like Emmett had not even tried to dry my hair. I had been running through the forest for an hour. I had run through the forest at first, and then I went onto the road. I didn't even know where I was going. I was following a winding street, whether it was going back in the direction to my house or getting further away from everything that I knew. My head was thumping in an uncomfortable way. I touched it tenderly. They wouldn't be able to follow me; the rain would have washed away my scent. I smiled; maybe I would die out here. Maybe I would never get to see my baby brother again; maybe I would just shrivel up and die. I didn't care anymore. Rosalie had made it quite clear that she didn't want me around anymore, and she was just saying what everybody else was thinking.

It wasn't just wet. It was cold too. It was a proper storm. The wind was going at absurd speeds and my feet were cold from walking through the forest and the road. I had got some cuts from tripping over branches, and stepping on sharp objects. The thing that I liked about the rain? You couldn't tell that I was crying. I laughed to myself, wanting to just stop, wanting me to be a zombie again. So that then Rosalie's words wouldn't hurt, that I wouldn't even register their meaning. I sighed. A huge thunder clap registered in my mind. It must be close, I turned around, slowly. A tree had fallen in the forest, a little into it. I walked over cautiously, though the odds of lightening striking twice were slim to none. I walked through the opening of the trees, pushing the leaves and branches away from my path, they snapped back in place as soon as I let it go. It would have made me jump, had I been in tune to my emotions.

There it was, the great tree, that must have been about 140 feet high, but now lay feebly on the forest floor, smoke billowing from the place where the lightening had collided with it. I groaned for it. It would never stand to such a grand height in my lifetime. I sat down on the tree trunk, rubbing it with left hand. I didn't know how long I had been sitting there. But I had checked out my wounds, just a few scratches on my foot, deep enough to bleed. I smiled. Blood was the reason that Edward had left. Also my trousers had torn in several places, leaving more serious cuts underneath the fabric. Oh well I was going to die anyway. The thunder and lightning was getting closer to me. And I was about to move from my place on the tree trunk. Then it happened. Unlike my near death experience, with the van back at school. My entire being slowed down, I could see every single rain drop that surrounded me, and I saw the lightning bolt hit the tree trunk, opposite me. I looked at it as it leant towards me. I was right. I was going to die in this forest. If I was going to die then it might as well be comfortable. I lay down on tree trunk. I thought of Angela, who would have to find a new maid of honour. And of Alice, who would finally be able to rid herself of the guilt that had possessed her since she had found me practically comatose two years ago. I closed my eyes, my head stinging slightly as the stitches in the back of it, touched the wood. It was going to welcome death, but why was it taking so long? And why did I feel like I was walking through the forest again. I opened my eyes, slowly. I wasn't walking through the forest; I was flying through it, in somebody's arms. I looked up at the person's face. My eyes widened.

"Jasper? What are you doing?" I groaned my voice thick, like I hadn't talked in a very long time. Well I hadn't.

"Bella, I'm taking you home." He smiled, getting faster, if that was possible. He was winding through the trees at near light speed and I felt slightly queasy, so I shut my eyes. I could feel the storm getting heavier, hail stones were hitting my face, and I shielded my eyes. I had never been this close to Jasper before. He had always kept me far enough away, so that he wasn't tempted. But this was unusually pleasant.

"Thank God you found her Jasper. Here give her too me. We'll get her into some nice warm clothes," I felt like I was being handed from person to person. But I was still comfortable.

I was suddenly being pulled out of my sweater and mauled trousers. Then heavier breaths.

"Get Carlisle in here now!" A feminine voice said. There was a pause, "Now Emmett!" she yelled. My eyes were still closed. Why couldn't I open my eyes? Were they fused shut? Or was I just not strong enough to open them?

"Sweetheart. Look over her. She has so many bruises, so much blood. I don't know how Jasper sustained?" The voice said again.

"Darling go. Get some fresh air," there was another voice, a familiar voice.

"Is she conscious?" the other voice said again. It must be Esme. She sounded upset.

"I don't know. Jasper said she said something about what he was doing there? But that was an half an hour ago." Carlisle said again. Had it been that long? I tried to move. I was unable to.

"Do we tell her? About him?" she said again. Tell me about whom?

"What good will it do her? She can't understand," Alice sobbed. What was going on?

"Ladies, I need to look over her. She has so many cuts, I just need to clean them up," I heard the rest of them leave, Alice's sobs and Esme's soothing. I felt Carlisle's cold hands examine my body, cleaning up the cuts from my legs, and one from my stomach. I hadn't noticed that before. I felt very cold. Unseasonably so, I could feel my teeth chattering, and I wanted to be warm. It felt so odd.

I was wrapped in a towel; well Carlisle wrapped me in one. I still couldn't open my eyes, but I could hear everything around me. Feel everything around me. What was going on? I wasn't unconscious, I had been unconscious before. This felt nothing like it. I was being lifted again. And this time it felt more urgent, like it was necessary to get me out of the arms that held me. It was soft where I landed. And hot. I was grateful and tried to snuggle into it. But I felt like I couldn't move. There were voices.

"What do we do? About him? Is he still coming here now?" I heard Emmett ask.

"Yes he is. Bella is going to be pissed. She doesn't want to see him. She hasn't wanted to see him for a year, why would she want to see him now?" Alice said darkly. Who was she talking about? Why couldn't I open my eyes?

"Well he was getting a plane to Juneau, and then he was running the rest of the way." Alice replied.

"So he will be here by?"

"1 I think. Can Bella hear us?" Alice sounded agitated suddenly. Then it dawned on me. Suddenly it was so obvious who they were talking about.

"Edward?" I groaned.

"I think she can hear us Alice," Jasper laughed.

"She's got hypothermia. She was so cold when Jasper found her. And we are cold to her too, so that didn't help either. Jasper. Well done. I am very proud of you son. It took a lot to resist the blood from right under your nose," Carlisle said proudly. I had never thought about Jasper's blood fetish when he was carrying me, the danger that lay there now, that I realised. I shuddered.

"What can I say Carlisle. I love her; I held my breath and came straight here. She's like my little sister," I felt a hand over forehead, pushing some hair out of its way. Jasper had never said anything like that to me before, apart from when I was 17, telling me I was worth it.

"Why's she smiling?" Esme laughed bitterly.

"She's in a coma like state. She sprained her ankle again," Carlisle sighed, "She can hear everything around her, but I don't know how long she is going to be like the way she is," I was in a coma? How ironic. The months I was in a coma like state, I was actually alive, now I felt like I was alone, truly alone.

"Why did she just say Edward's name?" somebody asked. I hadn't said anything.

"He told me she used to talk in her sleep? But I don't know what's going on in that mind of hers. Edward always wished he did, but if he will be here in time, I don't know?"

"In time for what?" Emmett croaked.

"Things could get worse before they get better." I said Edward's name again.

"Bella, if you can hear me, attempt to squeeze my hand," Emmett laughed. I squeezed it as tightly as I could. Until it hurt for me to keep it there. "She can hear us alright," Emmett patted my hand with his. Then there was silence for a very long time. I could feel my body getting warmer, slowly and I wanted nothing more than to be awake and be able to run as far away as I could, so that Edward would never know where I lived. They were going to leave at some point to go and comfort him. Why was he coming back now anyway? He was supposed to be gone for three more weeks, or was it four? The point is, why was he coming back now? Did he suddenly miss his entire family that he couldn't stay away from them anymore? I don't even know. Edward Cullen was a complete stranger to me. He had been ever since he had left me abandoned in the woods. I think I fell asleep for a while, but I can't be sure. I still couldn't open my eyes if I had. Then it hit me, like a tonne of bricks had just fallen on my already stitched head.

"Where is she?" I voice growled. I didn't sound familiar. "I need to see her," he growled again, opening the door. "What are you all doing here?"

"We could ask you the same question, you're looking well." Alice replied bitterly.

"Edward," I whispered.

"She looks so small," he choked out.

"She looked like this when Sam Uley found her. In the forest. Two years ago. After you left her. I saw it," Alice growled.

"I was doing what was best for her. I thought she would go back to the house. I had no idea..." he continued.

"I told you to stay with her. I begged you to stay. I told you things weren't going to be good if we left her," Alice was sobbing again, if she could. "You told me to leave my best friend behind. And I respected your wishes, because you asked me too. But you left her broken, and it's been TWO years and she still hasn't moved on,"

"I thought she would have," he whispered.

"She hasn't had a serious relationship since you. I knew she wouldn't, but you thought she would. She hasn't had a serious relationship for two years, EDWARD. What does that tell you?" he was screaming at him now.

"I thought she was going to be better off without me! Without us around her. The danger that lurked within our world that dampened her innocence. She is just a human. So breakable, so delicate, so beautiful. She wanted to be destined for eternal damnation, I COULDN'T, I WOULDN'T DO THAT TO HER!" They were both yelling now.

"If she makes it out of this. BEFORE you came back, all I saw of her future was her being turned into ONE OF US or dying alone, with me by her side. Watching her die." She was screaming now. I wished I could open my eyes, wait.

"The way it should be. Bella is a human. She should be able to die," Edward yelled, "I thought I was doing the best for her." He yelled again. I heard a growl beside me. It sounded like Emmett.

"Well you didn't okay? When I saw her a month ago, she looked like everything had been taken away from her. She didn't just loose you Edward. She lost us too," Emmett had joined in. "None of us wanted to leave her," he growled. I could feel it coming. I could feel the light coming for me.

"I'm sorry, but. It was my decision," Edward said again.

"It wouldn't have been so bad if you had stayed with us, but this is the first time I have seen you since you told us all to pack our stuff," Emmett growled. Then I snapped, my eyes opened widely and I was sitting bolt upright.

"STOP IT! JUST STOP IT," I shouted, joining in. Alice and Edward were facing up to each other, preparing for a fight; Jasper was trying in vain to separate them. Emmett was sitting defensively in front of me. Esme had just walked out the door. All eyes were on me. I shouldn't have opened my eyes. Edward was looking straight at me, eyes trying to take me all in.

"Bella are you ok?" Emmett asked, pushing a dressing gown in my direction. I nodded vaguely; I took it in my hands and pulled it on. I tightened it and got out of the bed. Struggling to stand up. Stumbling a little. Jasper was by my side, supporting me.

"Thanks Jasper," I was limping slightly from the sprained ankle. "Um, I need to take a bath. Alice can you help me with that?" I asked. She growled, obviously having not heard me. I walked over to her, getting in between her and Edward. I could feel his breath on my neck. She looked up at me. "Alice please. For me?" I begged, taking her shoulders. She seemed to snap out of it. She looked in my eyes and smiled.

"Nice and hot for you," and she skipped off to my en-suite. I turned to Emmett.

"Em? Can you get me some clothes please? Sorry about the ones you got me earlier, but they were sort of destroyed." I laughed.

"Do you want Silk, Satin or Rhinestone?" he winked at me.

"Um, wool?" I asked, smiling slightly.

"I can work with that," he went back to my walk in wardrobe, "You okay with high heels again Bells?"

"Do I have a choice?" I said.

"Nope," I heard his booming laugh. I turned away from the door.

"Esme's making you some lunch," Jasper whispered in my ear. I nodded.

"Thank her for me please?" I asked, he smiled. Now I turned to face Edward. He looked pained. "And you,"

"Bella, I-" he started.

"By the time that I am out of the bath, I want you to be gone from my house," I whispered, afraid that he would leave us all. "But don't leave the state Edward."My heart panged saying his name, "Esme has just got you back, it will kill her to lose you again," I growled. He nodded. "Right then Jasper, let's go then," we were nearly out of the door when I heard a voice.

"Bella?" Edward said, I turned around. He looked like he was going to combust with joy all of a sudden, "You look beautiful," I narrowed my eyes and turned back around towards the bathroom.

OOOOOOOOOO

"Ouch Emmett, your pulling a bit hard at my hair," I moaned, rubbing my stomach. The cut stung.

"Sorry Bella, but it will take a few more minutes," he laughed. "You really done a number on yourself today, falling all over the place," he smiled.

"Yeah well. I love to trip over," I smiled. "And I have to go singing tonight,"

"Are you still going to do it?" he nearly growled.

"I have to work Emmett, or I will start thinking again. And when I think, bad things happen. When I have too much time on my hands, I go to a bad place, for a long time now. It's my life," I shrugged.

"Bella, you ever need someone, I'm just down the street or on the other end of the phone," he rubbed my head quickly.

"Thanks," I whispered.

"Rose lied earlier. It's just her, the rest of us want you here, or we would have just moved, on that first night that I saw you at the club," he reasoned.

"You don't have to lie Emmett, I know that this is just sympathetic, you don't really want me here, just admit to it," I muttered.

"I am not lying, I swear. You're like my little sister." He laughed.

"Okay," I smiled slowly, "listen; don't start anything with Edward over me. I'm not worth it,"

"Bella," he reasoned, finishing my hair.

"No don't. If you do, you will have a major pain in your ass for the next fifty years," I laughed.

"Don't talk about yourself like that. You're going to be around for a long time,"

"In human years yeah, but for you guys, it will be just a blip on the radar. In a thousand years time, when I am just dust, you will still be roaming the planet, just thinking how crazy you were to have such a fixation with such an irrelevant, small human," I laughed.

"You start talking about your death one more time and I will kill you," he joked. "Now Esme has your lunch, let's feed you up," he laughed as he carried me in his arms.

"I can walk you know," I said bitterly.

"But this way is quicker," he laughed.


	11. Chapter 11

"Esme, please. I am perfectly capable of driving myself to work," I pleaded for what felt like the tenth time in as many minutes.

"I just want to make sure that you get there ok. Please do this one thing for me?" she smiled, walking towards the walk in garage.

"But what about Edward," my heart stung a little bit, "He's just gotten back. I am sure has a lot to tell you," I was clutching at straws here.

"And he will still be here when I get back. Now let's get going." She laughed.

"What about a compromise? You can collect me, that would be nice," I smiled again. She seemed to cave slightly.

"Ok then. I will come and get you. Alice says you will be fine tonight anyway," she laughed. Then I remembered.

"Esme? Can I give you something?" I asked, reaching for my black carry on back, from the plane yesterday.

"Of course dear," she patted me hand affectionately. I sighed, pulling out my CD case.

"I want you to have this. Because when Edward leaves again, you're going to take it the hardest. And it will help you. It's too late for me, but I know you always loved him on the piano. So here you go," she looked puzzled.

"What is it dear?"

"It's the original copy of the music Edward gave me for my birthday, two years ago." I had made another copy for myself. Using the computer and some spare time when I was left alone. But she didn't know that.

"Bella, I can't, it was a gift." She said, pushing it away slightly.

"I am not asking you to give it back to him that would be rude. Just take it for yourself. So you can fill those rainy days, when he goes away again." I smiled in spite of my words.

"Bella, he's not going away again. He promised me," she laughed.

"He made me promises. Do you remember what happened then Esme?" I looked down to my left hand. The scar still stood out against my pale skin. "He broke all of them, the day he left me," I smiled, feeling the tears rise.

"Oh sweetheart." She said, sobbing slightly.

"No it's ok. But can you take this. Please? You have all given me so much, I just want to give you something," I smiled. She took it, and put it in her handbag.

"You look lovely tonight Bella," I was wearing a pair of black high heeled shoes, with skinny jeans and a red top.

"I have to go. I will see you later then?"

"Yes probably," I smiled and walked out to the garage. The roads were still slick from the storm. That eliminated the bike. And I still hadn't gotten used to the route from here to the club. So I needed to get there quickly. The Ferrari it was then. I climbed into it and backed out into the street.

I was doing something different today. It was the owner's marriage anniversary today, so he wanted some love songs to be played. Including their song, bring me to life, by Evanescence. So I had been learning that. I was going to be singing that with someone called Shayne. And some Disney classics. Great. There were also dance routines and entrances. Not the best of ideas for me, but hey, I was getting double my pay for the same amount of time. I wasn't complaining. So I had to put up with some pure cheese for a while. Things could be worse. I could have to talk to Edward. And even he knew that that wasn't a good idea. It had been 6 hours since I had seen him last, end he of course hadn't changed at all. I probably didn't look anything like I did when I was 18. I sighed. It had taken less time than I had thought to get there. And I was alone, in my car again. I fiddled with the necklace that Alice had given me for my birthday. The '_Bella_' pendant. It sparkled in the moon light. I got my umbrella and stepped out of the door. It was odd, I felt like I wasn't alone. I turned around quickly. There was no one there. Hm. I locked the car and moved into the club. It was warm and stuffy. Closing the umbrella. I walked through the front entrance. Catching Garry's eye. He suddenly started to walk over to me.

"Bella are you ok? I heard that you went missing. Alice called me. I was so worried," he engulfed me in a huge hug.

"I'm fine, I'm here. A few cuts and bruises but I'm good." I looked in his eyes. He smiled.

"Angela and Ben are in the audience too. I thought that you would like to see them," he smiled, taking my hand and weaving me through the various tables. Angela and Ben were right in front of the stage.

"Bella! Are you okay?" Angela got up out of her seat.

"Yes, I'm fine. You shouldn't have worried about me. I am as healthy as a horse." I laughed, swaying slightly.

"Oh Bella, you could have called, we didn't even know if you were ok," she said, crying slightly.

"Come on Angela, I am fine," I smiled. The pain in my stomach jolted. I grimaced, this was not good. But nobody else noticed.

"Then Angela has something she wants to tell you," Ben interceded, taking a sip of vodka.

"Oh yes. My Bachelorette party." She giggled.

"When is it?" I asked, trying to be happy about it.

"On Saturday night. We are going to go club crawling," she laughed and winked at me.

"Ok Ange. I have to go backstage now. I'll see you later," I waved. Weaving through the chairs again. I walked through the doors. I was met by Steven, the owner.

"Bella, you are looking well," he smiled at me.

"You too sir, is there a problem?" I asked.

"No, but can you do your solo's first instead of last? Shayne is going to be a bit late," he smiled.

"Do I get a bonus?" I smiled hopefully. He laughed.

"I admire your thinking Bella. Wishful thinking." He laughed, and pat me on the shoulder. I smiled too. I felt like I needed the money all of a sudden. "So the two songs at the beginning then a short intermission?"

"Sure sir. The Duets will be after it." I laughed.

"Then you go out there and wow them!" he said, leaving me alone back stage, I turned on the microphone. I heard Garry from the other side of the curtain.

"Ladies and Gentleman, welcome to the Dolphin tonight." There were claps of agreement. "And you know the reason you came here. To see what everyone else is talking about. I present to you, our very own, Bella Swan!" there was applause, and the introduction started. I took a deep breath and stepped out onto the stage.

'_If you only knew  
That I think about you  
In a kind of secret way  
I say kind of 'cause  
Well it's obvious  
That I must be feeling these things_

Too bad you can't tell 'cause...

If you only knew  
It would be a dream come true  
Standing next to you  
Yeah I might go insane to know  
That you feel the same as I do  
If you only knew' I sang.

Now walking to the opposite side of the stage, during the break in between the lyrics.__

'If you only knew  
I write songs about you  
In the lyrics of the feel  
I imagine us chillin' out and stuff  
When I close my eyes this is real

Singing out your name...

If you only knew  
It would be a dream come true  
Standing next to you  
Yeah I might go insane to know  
That you feel the same as I do

[Bridge]  
And then maybe someday  
You'd write me a song too' I pointed to the audience. _  
'If I had it my way_

If you only knew  
If you only knew

If you only knew  
It would be a dream come true  
Standing next to you  
Yeah I might go insane

If you only knew  
It would be a dream come true  
Standing next to you  
Yeah I might go insane to know  
That you feel the same as I do  
If you only knew' 

I finished the first song my getting my right hand pulling it down to face the audience. There was rapturous applause. I smiled to myself. There were several wolf whistles, and woops. If you only knew by Savannah Outen. I laughed again.

"Okay let's keep up with the tempo. Don't you agree?" I asked. There were cheers. I signalled to Garry who put on the next track. "Everybody start clapping, come on" I started the clapping motion. They clapped with me I smiled. Then I froze, this song was very similar how Edward and I had met, well the first verse anyway.

'_I think it was the summertime  
When I laid eyes on you  
I didn't even know your name  
Somehow we'd end up in the same room  
It never crossed my mind  
I never saw you like that  
I should've listened to my best friend  
She knew it would be a perfect match_

It's a typical love story  
Started out as friends  
We met way back when  
This is just a typical love story  
The boy you never wanted just steals your heart  
I never saw it comin' 'til I fell so hard' I started to clap again, eager to keep the crowd alive.__

'I always made up some excuse  
Saying you that weren't my type  
Didn't want to face the truth  
Didn't want to cross that line  
'til one day I saw you  
Out of the corner of my eye  
You were flirting with some girl  
And inside I thought I would die

It's a typical love story  
Started out as friends  
We met way back when  
This is just a typical love story  
The boy you never wanted just steals your heart  
I never saw it comin' 'til I fell so hard

Can't believe it's happening  
When I least expect it  
My prince under disguise  
How you fooled me with those eyes  
When I feel like letting go  
In your arms is where I know  
I am wrong  
From the beginning we always belong

Love Love Story  
Love Love Story  
Love Love Story  
(Love)  
Love Love Story  
(Love Story)  
Love Love Story  
(This is my)  
Love Love Story  
(This is my love story)  
Love Love Story  
Love

This is my love story

It's a typical love story  
Started out as friends  
This is how it ends  
This is just a typical love story  
The boy you never wanted just steals your heart  
I never saw it comin' 'til I fell so hard

It's a typical love story  
Started out as friends  
This is how it ends  
This is just a typical love story  
The boy you never wanted just steals your heart  
I never saw it comin' 'til I fell so hard'

"Did everybody enjoy that?" I asked, slightly out of breath. They cheered again. I smiled. "Whoo. Time for a short intermission. While I wait for my partner to show up," they laughed. I waved off the stage. The act fell then. I had to be upbeat with the audience. It was my job. I couldn't be who I really was. Not out there. People don't come to be entertained by a depressed person. But I had warmed up the crowd somewhat.

"Bella Swan?" I heard an unfamiliar voice say behind me. I turned around. There stood a man, of about 6 foot. He had brown hair and had a slender build.

"Yes?" I replied.

"I just wanted to say hello. I am Alex. Your boss at Brandon's?" he smiled.

"Oh. It's a pleasure to meet you Alex. Nice to but a face to a name," I laughed. Holding out my hand, he shook it. He smiled at me.

"You are very talented. I didn't even realise you worked here, until I came here with my sister," he smiled. He was pretty enough, for a human. I felt something faint when our palms met. Did he? It had been a long time since I had felt anything like that before.

"Thank you. Very much, but this is just a hobby," I ran my fingers through my hair. Smiling at him.

"I just thought that I would let you know that I am going to be in town for a couple of weeks, to help with the store. My Boss is caning my ass to sell more. Maybe we could work together," he smiled. I sighed. But this was the creep who had suggested me sleeping with him, to help boost sales, and that feeling vanished.

"Maybe. But um, I have a show to do. I guess I'll see you tomorrow?" I said hesitantly.

"Yes, you will Bella. Until then, Miss Swan." He took my right hand kissed it. He then left. As soon as he had, I wiped his spit off of my hand and got ready for the next couple of songs.

"Bella? Shayne and Kyle are here," Garry said. "You just have to get into position onstage," Two people. It was supposed to be a duet. I sighed anyway. Walking on stage. Cheers erupted. It felt nice.

"Is everybody enjoying themselves?" I asked. "There were cheers again. Definitely a drinking crowd. "Now there is a reason why I am singing all these lovely songs tonight. And it's not because I am in love," laughter. "The reason is, my boss. Mr. Tweet, it's his five year wedding anniversary today, let's give them a hand," there was a round of applause for the happy couple. "And I am about to sing their song. This was by special request so here we go," there was another round of applause.

The introduction began, and Shayne and Kyle still hadn't appeared. But Garry gave me a thumbs up from the wings, I took a deep breath.

'_How can you see into my eyes like open doors  
leading you down into my core  
where I've become so numb without a soul my spirit sleeping somewhere cold  
until you find it there and lead it back home'_

'(Wake me up)' A figure appeared on stage, there were whoops of delight, I nearly had a heart attack._  
'Wake me up inside'_ I looked at him, nearly stuttering out the line. He winked at me. _  
'(I can't wake up)' Well_ he couldn't wake up, he couldn't sleep, but that wasn't the point. _  
'Wake me up inside' _He started to work the crowd, the cheered. _  
'(Save me)' He_ walked over to me confidently. _  
'Call my name and save me from the dark' _ I glued my feet to the floor. _  
'(Wake me up)' _He took my right hand._  
'bid my blood to run' _Then pulled my body close to him. _  
'(I can't wake up)'_ He twirled me around the stage. Dipping me at one point_  
'before I come undone' _I went back into him, my arms on his shoulders. _  
'(Save me)'_ He let my hand drop, and walked to the front of the stage. Then walked back to me. _  
'save me from the nothing I've become' _He jumped up, out of sight. "Emmett," I hissed, he laughed.__

'now that I know what I'm without  
you can't just leave me  
breathe into me and make me real  
bring me to life' At least I knew he was coming. __

'(Wake me up)' I was wrong, Jasper this time, from the other side of the stage._  
'Wake me up inside' _ I sighed internally, He smiled . _  
'(I can't wake up)'_ He walked straight over to me, and took my left hand in his._  
'Wake me up inside'_ I twisted out then into him, jumping to the other side._  
'(Save me)'_ He twisted me back into him, then his lips were millimetres away from my neck._  
'call my name and save me from the dark'_ He pulled me up, so that I was standing on my feet._  
'(Wake me up)' _ We walked in unison, him backwards, I forwards._  
'bid my blood to run' _Pushing on his chest. _  
'(I can't wake up)' _He shook his head, dramatically._  
'before I come undone'_ I twirled around in the other direction. _  
'(Save me)' _ I was met by Emmett, He pleaded._  
'save me from the nothing I've become'_ I walked forward to centre stage, they followed. We got the crowd clapping, whilst we were singing the next verse.__

'Bring me to life'  
'(I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside)' Jasper and Emmett alternated. Clapping like idiots._  
'Bring me to life'_ I walked around to touch Jaspers neck. Then walked in front of him.__

'frozen inside without your touch without your love darling only you are the life among the dead' Ironic, I actually was. Emmett started the next verse.__

'All this time I can't believe I couldn't see  
kept in the dark but you were there in front of me' He pulled me so that I was in front of him. _  
'I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems  
got to open my eyes to everything'  
'without a thought without a voice without a soul' _Pulled me so that I was now in front of him. _  
'Don't let me die here  
there must be something more' _they both begged, we faced that audience again. _  
'Bring me to life' _I sang with all my heart.__

'(Wake me up)' Emmett Walked behind me, switching places with Jasper. _  
'Wake me up inside'_ I walked backwards. The two of them turning around. _  
'(I can't wake up)'_ Emmett walked back. _  
'Wake me up inside'_ I slid to the right, next to Emmett. _  
'(Save me)'_ He held my hips, as he danced from side to side, Grease style. _  
'Call my name and save me from the dark'_ we carried on dancing like that. _  
'(Wake me up)'_ Jasper switched places with Emmett; Emmett went to work the crowd. _  
'Bid my blood to run'_ I smiled, he does want my blood. _  
'(I can't wake up)'_ Emmett jumping up and down. _  
'before I come undone'_ Jasper twisted me out into Emmett's arms, My head rested on his abs._  
'(Save me)'_ We went from side to side again, at the front of the stage._  
'save me from the nothing I've become'_ We walked to the front of the stage.__

'(Bring me to life)' I sang, bending down slightly. _  
'I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside' _I took their hands. _  
'(Bring me to life)'_ I sang. Wanting it to end quickly. When it did, there was a big applause.

"What the hell are you two doing?" I asked, whilst feigning a smile.

"I am Shayne," Jasper said, also feigning a smile.

"And I am Kyle, Aren't we good singers?" Emmett laughed. We took a bow.

"I love you guys," I smiled again, looking on either side of me.

"We love you too Bella, Now let's give them more of what they want!" Jasper laughed.

OOOOOOOOOO

I laughed as I got in the car with Esme. She was in the driver's seat. I got in the passenger side. I closed the door.

"You were watching tonight weren't you?" I smiled.

"Since you went to talk to Angela," she started up the engine.

"Just you?" I asked, suspiciously.

"Alice, Rose and Carlisle," she laughed.

"So where was Edward?" I said, trying to keep it casual.

"He wanted to be alone for a while. He called me during your intermission. He went for a run for a while," she said, driving fast.

"Right, ok then," I said. "Did you enjoy the show?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

"I loved it. Jasper and Emmett have been planning this for days, did you think we were going to miss it?" she smiled again. "You looked like you were enjoying yourself,"

"It was unexpected at first, but it was fun, and I made a hundred bucks," I tapped the window.

"Edward misses you," She said suddenly. I looked at her, with confusion.

"Well then he shouldn't have left me then should he?" I replied.

"He still loves you, we all do," she tried again.

"Well when he can say that to my face, and not send a messenger, then I will take him seriously," I mumbled. She sighed.

"He hurt you badly didn't he," she said, twisting around sharp bends.

"You have no idea. There are things that happened, because he left, things I can't ever forget," I whispered. Touching my stomach, where the pain often appeared, now was one of those times. I flinched.

"I know sweetheart, I know," she smiled.

"But you don't. Nobody can ever know," I whispered. I had never said this to any of the Cullen's before.

"I am confused," she frowned.

"Don't worry about it. It was a long time ago," I smiled. As we pulled into my driveway.


	12. Chapter 12

The sun streamed through my window. I stretched my arms as I pulled the covers off of me. I yawned, trying to remember if last night had actually happened. By the time I had fallen asleep it was probably about six am. It was unseasonably hot. Very hot. I could feel the sweat on my forehead. It must have been about 85 or 90 degrees. I looked at the clock. 8:45. "Crap," I ran out of my bed and quickly jumped in the shower. It was literally just a two minute shower. I put on a vest top and a miniskirt with some heels again. I got my books and ran out the door. I lived 15 minutes away and my destination was 10 minutes away. My class was in 9 minutes. I jumped in the Ferrari, the tyres screeched as I pulled out of the driveway. I dialled Angela's number. It went to nearly the end when she picked up.

"Bella? Where are you?" she whispered.

"I am on my way, can you stall for me?" I begged, using one hand to steer he Ferrari, 80 miles an hour. Crap.

"How the hell am I supposed to stall? She asked."

"I don't know Angela, flash Professor Bennett or something; I will be there in five minutes." I said, entering the town.

"Oh No." She whispered, "Bella, there is something you need to know," she started.

"I can't talk now babe, I am nearly here," I hung up and pulled the key out of the ignition. I grabbed my bag and practically ran into the lecture hall. Running in high heels, an accomplishment for me. I opened the door AHA 4 and I seemed to make a dramatic entrance.

"And Now that Miss. Swan has decided to grace us with her presence, we may finally begin."There was laughter and wolf whistles. I looked around the room, these people must be boiling. They were still wearing their scarves and thick winter coats. I rolled my eyes.

"I apologize Professor Bennett, I overslept," I said, looking him in the eye. He nodded. I turned around to look for an empty seat; the only one was right in the corner, at the back. Shrouded in darkness. I climbed the steps, hearing Bennett start off again. I got halfway when I spotted Angela, Ben and Garry. Angela looked like she was going to cry, she looked at me sympathetically. I went on ahead, when I could make out the back row, I stopped.

"You have _got _to be kidding me," I muttered, I could barely hear it myself. I shook my head. There sitting on the seat nearest to me, so that he could block me in if necessary. Was none other than Edward Cullen? Great. I continued to walk up a little slower. Of all the people, in all the classes, in all the world, he had to sit in my one. That's why Angela looked like she was going to cry. I shuffled past the people that led to my seat. They were pulling their feet back so I could get past. When I got to Edward, he looked like he was going to laugh; he was wearing my favourite crooked smile. Ugh, why did he have to be so smug? I got my bag, took out my glasses and put them on, so I could see. Then I took my phone out to put it on silent. I put it back in my bag. Edward was resting his arms on the armrests so, naturally, I pulled mine into a tight cross across my body. I pulled out my notebook and began to write.

Of course Edward wasn't writing. He had a perfect memory. He didn't need to take notes on criminology. He was sitting on my left, and nobody was on my right. It should have felt colder, but if anything, it felt hotter. I pulled my hair, so that it was up in a tight ponytail so that it couldn't fall down. Why were people looking at me like I was crazy? I didn't care. I was hot and I needed to cool down. If only Alice or Esme or any other vampire apart from Edward were here. So that then I could cool down.

It got halfway through the lecture, I couldn't concentrate anymore. I slipped off my shoes and started to use my notebook as a fan. I saw a boy from further down; look at me, as if I was a lunatic. That was his issue not mine. There was pain now, unspeakable pain. The pain was where it normally was. In my lower abdomen, like it was pulsating. Like it was getting worse. I got to my bag, again and reached to the bottom, to the little plastic bottle of Tylenol. My hands were shaking; I shook out two little capsules and put them on my lap. I could feel Edward's gaze on my little action. Then I got my Evian bottle. There were tears running down my face now. Because of the pain. I wasn't crying, but it was involuntary.

I pushed my glasses so they were now resting on top of my head .I clicked open the top of the bottle, still shaking, the pain was getting worse now, like someone had stabbed me in the stomach. I put one tablet into my mouth; I swallowed some water, nearly gasping for air. I closed my eyes, hoping to stop the pain if I shut them tight enough, I took a deep breath and took the final tablet and swallowed down with some more water. It usually took a while for the drugs to kick in. I took a few deep breaths, and then I opened my eyes. I was still in immense pain. And still hot, I could feel the flimsy clothes clinging to my body. I put my glasses away and put them back into my bag. But the tears still came, I wasn't even sad. The pain was making me double up.

I pulled out my tissues, wiping my eyes. And also my mirror, to inspect the damage. I looked all puffy. I dabbed down the tears. I moved it slowly to another angle. Edward was sitting, clutching the bridge of his nose. Oh well his issue. I dabbed my cheeks to get rid of the run mascara. I laughed bitterly to myself. The day to get a very, very bad pain would be the day the Edward was sitting next to me. I looked at my cell phone, 5 minutes to go. I started to pack away. I slipped my shoes on; I didn't want to put them back on. But I did anyway. It felt odd; I blame Emmett for my new infatuation with high heels.

Bennett dismissed us. Edward made no sign to move, he had his legs crossed. I wasn't going to wait for him to get up. I got up; though the pain was gut wrenching I made little sign of it. But I was blocked by a barrier. I looked down. His right leg was outstretched to the seat in front. His eyes still closed, and his hand the bridge of his nose. He had blocked me in. I tried to move again, he didn't budge. Of course he didn't budge.

"What are you doing?" I mumbled. He didn't answer. I sighed. I pulled out my cell phone and scrolled through the address book. When I got to his number, I hit dial. It rang once.

"Hey Bella, what's the matter," he laughed.

"Emmett can you please come and tell- Hey!" I growled. He said nothing. He had taken my cell phone a ground it into dust.

"You could have at least saved the sim card." I growled. The hall was almost completely empty. I sighed, taking off my shoes, putting them in my bag. I commenced into climbing over the seat in front of me. I walked down it. I was at the end. He was still sitting at the seat. I smiled. I turned around to face the aisle and he was standing there. "Gah," I screamed.

"Hello Bella," he said, politely.

"Wow, he speaks." I moved to the left, he moved to the left, blocking my path.

"I'm sorry I was being dreadfully rude before, of course I will replace your cell phone, with the same number and everything," he smiled, trying to dazzle me. It didn't work.

"I don't want you too, Alice will get me one," I moved to the right. So did he, blocking my path again.

"If that's what you want." He smiled.

"What do you want Edward?" I snarled. Sitting down and putting on my shoes again.

"Nothing, I just wanted to talk to you alone," he said innocently. I raised my eyebrows.

"Well I have said all I need to say to you, now can I leave?" I asked. I moved to the left, He stood aside. "Thank you," I walked out into the aisle, stepping down the stairs.

"Since when do you wear glasses?" he asked, trying to sustain a laugh.

"Since when do you care?" I snapped. Contemplating throwing myself down the stairs to make time go quicker. He was silent. I sniggered.

"Quite an entrance you made," he said trying to change the subject. "And you're not very well covered up either," he smiled.

"It's boiling hot, of course I'm not going to be wearing huge winter coats." I wiped some sweat away from my face for effect.

"Bella it's 45 degrees," he rose an eyebrow.

"Celsius?" I tried.

"Fahrenheit," he corrected me. He must be mistaken. I was sweating all over.

"Oh well. I have somewhere to be, nice catching up," I said sarcastically. Walking out of the door, he followed me out of the door.

"I'm taking you to Carlisle," he grabbed my upper arm. I sighed.

"I have caused enough trouble with him in the last few days. It will be a nice for him to have a break," I tried to pull away from his iron grasp. It didn't work, but it did cool down my arm.

"Bella, I am just trying to look after you," he smiled.

"It's not your job to look after me anymore. It hasn't been for a long, long time. Just over two years in fact. But then again, you remember that day more than I do." I whispered menacingly. He narrowed his eyes at me, he looked angry. I just smiled. The stabbing pain came back to me again. I faltered slightly, losing my balance, falling slightly. Edward's hand held me up.

"I'm taking you to Carlisle," he said again.

"I am fine. Just leave me alone Edward," I growled. He didn't let me move, "If it gets worse then I will call him, I promise." I crossed my heart. He let go of my arm slowly. I wished it was back there, the sweat returning almost as soon as his hand left.

"We need to talk Bella," he said, when I was nearly at the door.

"I'm sure we do, but I am done talking to you right now." I opened the door, to enter the wind and the rain. I stepped right into it. Slamming the door behind me.

I walked calmly through the wind to my car. I opened it and ran into it. I was still hot. I needed a cold shower. I had work in a couple of hours. I turned on the engine and put on the stereo, I didn't remember what CD was in it. But my breath shuddered.

My Lullaby.

Of all the tunes. It could have been Esme's but mine. I remembered the first time I heard this. I was in his house, back in Forks. I burst into tears. Just like I had then. I rested my head on the steering wheel. The tinted windows looked out onto the parking lot. The rain was pounding down. I smiled, like back home, in Forks. I tapped my head on the steering wheel, a few times. Why did he do this to me? I took a deep breath, and waited for my lullaby to end. Before I started the engine, and drove back to my forest home. It took ten minutes as usual. I drove straight into the garage. To avoid the rain. I walked up the stairs and into my en suite. I stripped down and put on some cold water. It felt good on my skin. I washed my hair and let it wash away the sweat that had gathered on my body.

I left the shower, feeling a little cold. In fact I felt very cold. And quite tired. I just wanted to fall asleep, but I needed to go to work. I dragged my feet to my extensive wardrobe. I pulled on a woolly jumper, a pair of skinny jeans, and some thick socks. I wore two pairs of gloves and a scarf. I had plenty of time, so I took my Audi. I was sitting in there for fifteen minutes with the heater on, trying to warm up. I was still cold. I was shivering. I pulled out of the garage and in and out of the roads. I couldn't take it anymore. I pulled over. The tiredness was over coming me. I leant on steering wheel and closed my eyes. But I wasn't for long. I felt like I was being carried over. I opened my eyes. I was in my car, but I was in the passenger side. I was leaning against the window. I looked over and saw Edward driving back in towards the house.

"What the hell are you doing?" I groaned. Trying to sit up straight. I couldn't.

"I thought you were hot?" he laughed. He looked over to me. Smiling, I shut my eyes.

"I have to go to work," I croaked.

"Alice is taking care of it," he said simply.

"Why aren't you Emmett or Jasper, they are nice to me," I whispered, closing my eyes again. "They don't leave me," I yawned. I opened my eyes, he looked pained.

"Bella, just get some sleep." He said touching my leg with his hand.

"Don't touch me," I growled, he took his hand off at once. Then I drifted, higher and higher into the land of unconsciousness.


	13. Chapter 13

_**Edward's POV**_

"She's only got the flu Edward, she'll be fine," Carlisle sighed, walking out of her room and into the hallway with me. Alice was with her, in her bedroom, trying to keep her fever down.

"The Flu? Carlisle, people _die_ from the flu, or have I just imagined it?" I growled.

"Son, she's going to be fine. It will be gone in a couple of days. Alice is going to stay with her, keep her fluids up, and such. Bella is going to be fine." He reasoned, setting his bag on a table.

"But then why was she crying? Flu isn't usually that painful. She was doubling over in pain," I choked.

It hurt to even think of what she was going through in Criminology. But the moment I had set eyes on her, walking into the room with flimsy clothes, much too cold for a human. Even when she had seen who she would be sitting next to, I knew something was wrong. She had a box of Tylenol in her bag; she must have known something was wrong. Like this pain was a regular occurrence.

"I don't know Edward. I would have to run some tests," he replied.

"Then run them! See what happens, you know what Bella is like, her left lung could have collapsed and she wouldn't have said anything," I sounded urgent, even to me.

"Edward you're not her next of kin. I can't take the test without consent from her of her next of Kin." He explained. I knew procedure, why couldn't he just run the tests?

"Then who is her next of kin then?" I grabbed her folder out of Carlisle's hands, he groaned.

"_You're not going to like it," _He thought. Shaking his head. I opened the file anyway. Next of kin, next of kin, next of kin? I scrolled through the paper.

"She didn't," I growled. I had known that Alice had always been fond of Bella but this file said that she had been one of her next of kin for the past two years. They had only found Bella little over a month ago. I groaned as I looked over her injuries. A sprained ankle when she had first arrived here in September, then another ailment in November, but it hadn't been acknowledged. This was unusual. Prozac until last February. Broken bones, a few broken ribs. She was even involved in road accident; she had careered into a tree, with slight head trauma. All treated by the same Doctor, Doctor Woodsen. He had just retired. Then the most recent was a sprained ankle, broken arm and head trauma, on her 20th birthday, by Doctor Carlisle Cullen. I snapped it shut. Carlisle was watching my reaction.

"You knew, you knew that she was here and you didn't tell me? You knew that Alice was going back to her every few months. And you didn't think to tell me?" I growled.

"Edward the few times that you did call, you were always too depressed to take anything in. I only found out on her birthday she was even here. And I promised Bella I wouldn't tell you she was here. She actually growled at me for even suggesting it," he returned to the memory.

"_Edward's not going to be happy about this," Carlisle sighed. Suddenly Bella turned around, hate in her eyes. Even with the brace on her arm, she looked like she would attack him, for even suggesting it. I heard a menacing growl, for Bella it was menacing, coming from her direction. _

"_Edward's not going to find out about this," she slammed the door, I swear I saw fire erupt in her chocolate brown eyes._

Carlisle snapped out of it. And touched me on the shoulder, I looked like a mess, from his point of view. Bella didn't want me to know that she was here, that she was hurting. Why not? What had I done not to know she was in pain? Oh, right, the whole leaving her for two years. That was bound to leave a sting.

"I'm going to keep Alice company," I gave him back the file, he smiled. I pulled open the two doors to reveal Alice sitting on a chair next to Bella, holding her hand and dampening her forehead with some water.

"_I know what you're going to do Edward, and I think it can wait. Don't you?" _She thought, glaring at me. I rolled my eyes angrily. And sat on a chair next to her. She had her sleeves rolled up and would have had crow's feet had she not been eternally 19. She sighed, wringing out a cloth, and dampening her forehead again. She was thinking about Jasper. How he had swept into the woods, rescuing Bella from a falling tree, resisting her flowing blood. Getting some on his clothes. She smiled and returned to her chore. I sighed.

I began to wander around her room. There were lots of photos. Some of Bella and Alice, she looked lovely. There was one where she, Charlie and Alice were at her graduation, from High school. Then there was one, which shocked me. Bella smiling, but it looked like she was empty; there was no sparkle in her eyes. And she had big purplish bruises around her eyes. Like the way we did when we needed to hunt. She also looked a bit gaunt. Her cheeks were sallow and you could see her cheek bones sticking out from her face. I grimaced, she looked lost. Like there was nothing for her there. It was in her bedroom. Back in forks.

"Bella is going to wake up soon. I think it will be best if you are not here when she wakes up," Alice said aloud.

"I think I will stay." I looked at the photo again, "She needs all the help she can get," I put the photo again.

"Your pile of ashes," she muttered offhandedly. I sat in the corner, watching Bella toss and turn in her sleep, and mutter things unintelligible. The Alice's phone rang. She flipped it open, without looking at the number.

"No Emmett, we are not going to act out the sound of Music to make Bella feel better," she growled.

"_Come on Alice, you know Bella will love it. She likes hearing us sing. I have a nun costume and everything," _

"Well not until tomorrow anyway. Bella is going to be angry enough as it is."

"_Has it got anything to do with a certain brother of mine?" he laughed, I rolled my eyes_

"Who is sitting right across the room right now?" she glared at me.

"_Cool, I think I will make her some chicken noodle soup. Will she like that?" He asked._

"Yeah she'll love it, and I need all the help I can get here. And Bella won't like it if," she finished suggestively. She was now thinking about the American Revolution. I frowned.

"_Sure, I'll be over in an hour," Emmett continued and the line went dead. _

I went back to twiddling my thumbs. How long was it going to be until Bella awoke, would she be well? Would she even know who we were? Was she going to be delirious? I have to stop this; Bella was going to be fine. She wasn't that helpless. Or was she? I remember when I saw her yesterday, so little, so small, so delicate and yet different somehow. When Jasper went to her side, to help her, I was boiling over with Jealousy. It hurt to have any member of my family, especially the male ones, touch her. Jasper even more, seen as he nearly killed her. To see him so close to her. See him gripping her so tightly and so protectively.

"Alice," Bella murmured, turning around, eyes still closed and stretching out her arms.

"Yeah Bella, I'm here for you," Alice smiled, pulling her over to her. _"You can still run Edward,"_ she thought. I shook my head once.

"I had the strangest dream. I dreamt that Edward came back, and that he crushed my cell phone, and he blocked me in so I couldn't leave him." She yawned. She sounded just like she had when she was 18. She hadn't changed at all, it was nice to hear her the way I remembered her. She was still half asleep.

"Its ok babe, it's all going to be fine." Alice started dampening her forehead.

"Why is it so cold? Oh well, I need to get to work." She made a move to leave the bed. Alice pinned her down.

"I had a word with Alex, he sends his regards and hopes to see you when you are better," Alice smiled; Bella still hadn't opened her eyes. She just went back to lie down on her pillow.

"But I need to work, it keeps me busy. Keeps me from worrying about that jackass coming back to ruin my life yet again," she smiled, and was sitting on her side. Her eyes fluttered and opened, looking straight into my eyes. I smiled at her. Her eyes narrowed, and I could hear her heartbeat increase. She sat up slowly, never leaving my gaze. "What the _hell _is he doing here?" she growled.

_**Bella POV**_

He was still smiling. Why was he still smiling? I glared at him. He didn't even flinch. I wanted to hit him so hard it wasn't even funny, though I would probably end up hurting myself. Why hadn't he left yet? Did he honestly think that I would just fall to his feet and we could just pick up where we left off? Alice was talking to me, but I didn't really hear what she was saying. All I knew was that I wasn't cold anymore, I was burning with rage. I was borderline hyperventilating.

"What are you still doing here?" I repeated. He just stayed where he was, just smiling back to me. I nearly closed my eyes, but instead I curled my hands into fists, going numb.

"Bella, Emmett is coming round, he's cooking you some soup," Alice said. I broke the stare down.

"Oh good. I can't wait, if he's anything like Esme he'll be a great cook," I turned to her. She looked worried. "Alice do you mind if you give Edward and I some privacy?" I asked, furious with myself for doing it.

"Uh sure, I'll just be downstairs," she gave me a fleeting look, and then left the room. I waited for a minute, and then broke the awkward silence.

"Why are you still here Edward?" I said again. He looked at his shoes again. I coughed, it was blisteringly painful. I had the flu. Not good, but then the pain in my stomach appeared again. I flinched. I looked at Edward, he hadn't moved an inch. I sighed impatiently. I pulled the duvet away from my body and got out of bed. I went to my en suite and quickly washed my face. I looked in the mirror. I looked terrible. I groaned. I felt like I had been shredded. I glared at my reflection. I pulled on a fluffy blue dressing gown and walked back into by room, coughing some more. I saw that he was gone.

"Stupid, unreliable, vampire," I muttered. I threw myself on the bed. I hit something hard. "OW!" I yelled, I heard a laugh. I growled. Pulling back the duvet, Edward was lying on my bed.

"Are you ready to talk now?" I growled.

"Yes. Yes I am," he smiled.

"And you'll answer all of my questions," I glared at him again.

"Will you answer all of mine?" he replied, I sneezed. Stupid flu.

"Yes," I got up off of my bed and sat on an armchair. He sat on one next to me. "Why are you here?"

"I am here to be with my family, it's been too long since I have seen there," he replied, I groaned.

"I meant why you are _here, _in my bedroom?" I asked.

"You never seemed to have any objection before," he smiled.

"That was a long time ago, things were different," I snapped. He laughed.

"I'd forgotten how much of a temper you had," he laughed.

"This is no time to be cute Edward," I snarled. He rolled his eyes.

"So what have you been up too since I have been away?" he laughed.

"I'm not done asking questions," I glared, I coughed.

"Then let me say something," I glared at him, my hands in front of my mouth. I glared at him, eyes narrowed, "Please?" he asked again. I nodded stiffly, not trusting him fully.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. That didn't take me by surprise. I rolled my eyes.

"Really? For what?" I challenged.

"For leaving you, alone for so long. Without protection, without loyalty, without me," he sighed.

"Wow, that's not egotistical at all, living without you, however did I go on?" I feigned drama.

"I thought that I was doing the best for you that you would move on, I never dreamed that you wouldn't have by now," he whispered. I rolled my eyes.

"You know what Edward, things are different now. Things happened, things I can't change. I just want to know one thing." I asked

"Which is?"

"Why do you care so much," I glared, "You left me. And you didn't even let me say goodbye, to Alice or to Emmett! What right did you think that you had?" I whispered. I sneezed again, the pain in my stomach with it.

"I thought that I was doing what was best for you," he pleaded. "Every day that I was away, I was thinking about you. Whenever I closed my eyes, I would see you. Your smile. Your laugh. Your eyes. But I resisted, for you," he took my cheek in his hand. I moved it away, with my hand.

"Am I supposed to be impressed?" I scowled.

"I came back once," he whispered, so low that I nearly didn't hear him.

"What? When?" that piece of news took me by surprise.

"Christmas, just gone. You looked happy, so I decided to leave you alone," he concluded. How wrong he was, in December, I still hadn't gotten over what had just happened to me in November. I was far from happy. I was depressed, but I had put on an act for Charlie. I snapped back into my shield.

"And how did that go for you?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Not well. I still thought about you, all the time," he looked straight into my eyes again, two years ago; this would have dazzled me, but not anymore.

"That's not the point," I fiddled with my 'Bella' necklace. He laughed, "What?"

"You like the necklace then?" he smiled.

"What are you talking about? Alice got this for me," I defended. He smiled. Then it all clicked into place. "You," I gasped.

"What?" he seemed worried.

"It was all you. Everything was you," I shook my head in disbelief.

"I don't know what you're talking about Bella," he realised his mistake, but it was too late.

"The Necklace, you got it for me. You were the reason that I mysteriously received $100,000 in my account in January. You were the one who gave me that weird phone call on Sunday. It was all you, wasn't it?" I gasped.

"I just wanted to make sure you were ok Bella," he reasoned, "Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars—points of light and reason… And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn't see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything." He seemed to be in pain as he said his little speech.

"Is that supposed to mean something to me?" I replied.

"Bella, I love you, I have always loved you and I will always love you," he begged. I can't believe that I was about to say this. How Ironic. I took a deep breath and began.

"You're not good for me Edward," I whispered. His eyes widened. "Of course, I'll always love you… in a way. But things are different now. You were nothing more than a crush, I got over it,"

"Bella? What are you trying to say," he stared at me.

"It's not nice is it? Being told the very thing that makes you die a little inside," I lowered my gaze to the floor.

"Bella, tell me that you don't want me, and I will leave you alone," he pleaded; I nearly broke, seeing his eyes, they looked pained. I took a deep breath.

"Edward I don't love you anymore. I don't think I ever really did," I smiled, "I shouldn't have let this go on for so long, that wasn't fair. I'm sorry," I thought back when he told me that, how in that moment, I had ceased to exist. I coughed again. I looked at him again, he looked angry. Terribly so.

"Bella, do you mean that?" he choked.

"Don't leave Esme again. I will be gone again in a few years, problem solved. She has missed you the most," I said simply, I remembered the CD I had given Esme, "and don't just make all of them leave, they don't want to, just be their brother and their son, that's the least that they deserve. After what Alice and Jasper done for me, I love them all. If you care about me at all, then don't leave them," I whispered. I got up out of the armchair. Coughing again. I yawned.

"What did they do for you?" He muttered.

"They killed Victoria. She came back to Forks, for me. Mate for mate as it were. She hadn't realised." I sounded bitter. I went back to bed, wanting nothing more than to go to sleep. I pulled the duvet over my shoulders and the last thing I saw was Edward climbing out of the window, like he had done so many times before, all that time ago...


	14. Chapter 14

"Do I look ok Angela?" i asked nervously. I had never worn anything this revealing before. But it was Angela's Bachelorette party. Just us two, going club crawling for the night. I was wearing a very short dress, which clung to my thighs, and was very low cut. Alice had picked it out. That pixie had a very, very dirty mind. Angela laughed; she had already gotten started on the booze.

"Of course Bella, we're both going to have a lot of fun." She giggled. Then went suddenly serious, "I know you're recovering from the flu, are you sure that you want to go through with this?" she patted my hand, sympathetically. I thought back on the past few days.

Alice holding back my hair, when i woke up after Edward left, as i vomited into a bucket. Jasper coming into the room a while later to calm me down, smiling at me. Then Emmett waltzing into the bedroom to wake me up, whilst reciting 'Climb every mountain', in a Nun's costume.

I had been sleeping a lot, having new types of Nightmares. Not the type i had been having in Forks. Worse ones. They had been about Edward, of course. He had been standing over, hunched over one of my armchairs, only in my nightmare, when i woke up, he stayed where he was. I tried to get him to move, to leave my room. But he wouldn't, i slapped him on the back, i threw a few books at him. He didn't flinch, but stayed in his stiff position. It was only when i gave up, and began to tuck myself back into the bed, when Edward simply disappeared, too fast for me to see. To reveal a hallucination, i think, of me sprawled across the armchair, eyes glazed over, the spark having left my eyes, as cold as the Cullen's and a thin line of blood trailing out of the left corner of my mouth, and down my cheek. The nightmare always finished there, ending with me sitting bolt upright, and panting. Trying to get fresh air. Tears streaming down my face.

My train of thought was interrupted suddenly, by a point of pressure, on my right for the shortest of moments. I snapped out of my daydream. I forced a wide bright smile.

"Of course i am ok with this. Everything will be fine. And hey, always an excuse to get completely wasted," I smiled grimly, the shields had returned with the return of Edward. I saw it in Alice's eyes whenever she saw me that I had begun to deteriorate yet again. Angela was the same. But she smiled to keep the peace, not arguing as usual.

"We still good to come back here afterwards?" she laughed, taking another sip of champagne. I smiled. Bending down to pull the straps of my stilettos around my ankles.

"Of course we are, we'll get a cab back and then go with the flow," i smiled, standing up straight. Angela wolf whistled, slightly tipsy already. I reached for the white sweater on the back of the armchair. As i bent down, the pain in my stomach lurched again, I groaned loudly. Clutching my stomach. Why hadn't this gone away yet? My head was spinning, throbbing and i could feel my hands start to shake. My vision clouding slightly. The room spinning.

"Bella? BELLA!" Angela's voice brought me back to reality. The room stopped spinning and my vision had begun to get better. As Angela's face came back into focus, i saw the worried expression on her face, gripping tightly onto my left hand. I fluttered my eyelashes, trying to shake the shaky images, i smiled. She sighed with relief.

"I'm fine. Just was a bit dizzy for a minute there," i lied, patting her hand, and pulling the cardigan over my right forearm. She wasn't convinced. I smiled again, she frowned. I tried to make her understand. Not to bring it up again. I pleaded with my eyes. She sighed.

"So what time is the cab going to be here?" she asked, putting the Champagne flute on the vanity cabinet. She wasn't about to get anymore drunk than she was now. Well not until we got to a club. I sighed; i seemed to be doing that a lot lately. Putting my new phone, complete with confusing instructions. I only knew how to get the contact list up, into my purse, complete with a hell of a lot of cash, courtesy of Alice.

"Well its 9pm now, so it should be here in about a ten minutes." I laughed, walking over to the two doors that led to the stairs. Angela followed after me. I needed all the support I could get when walking down the stairs. Angela laughed. We tottered down the stairs, both slightly tipsy. We both giggled. Angela sat on the sofa in the front room; i lay down on the recliner. Getting ready for the hectic night that was to take place. I didn't like parties, but it was just one. I smiled to myself. The doorbell rang.

"I'll get it," Angela sang. I heard her get up and walk through to the front door. I was tempted to get up from here and help her but my head was ringing. Then something odd happened. I heard a glass smash. That woke me up. I got up slowly, not wanting to make myself any dizzier than i was already. Stumbling slightly i walked through to the hall.

"Ange, who is it," i asked, rubbing my eyes. Had i fallen asleep? I yawned. Obviously i had. I looked to Angela, well the back of her head anyway. Her hand was covered in blood, from the glass. My breath staggered. Blood. I held my breath and walked forward. I touched her shoulder. Not paying attention to whoever it was at the door.

"Bella, go back to the living room," she breathed. I stopped. I looked over her shoulder. My eyes grew wide. With angst, then anger.

"No, i can take care of it. You go to the kitchen and I'll come and help you with the wound ok?" crap. That used up my oxygen supply. The rust and the salt entered my nose and i could taste it. I steadied myself against the door, gripping on for dear life.

"Bella, I know how you feel about blood," she began, turning around.

"There might be glass in it, I'll help you. Go on. The cab will be here in a few minutes." She looked down at the wound; she looked surprised at how she had managed to break the glass so easily. She sighed, giving up in defeat. She took one look at the person waiting on the doorstep then walked in a daze to the kitchen. "First aid kit is under the sink," i whispered to her. She nodded. I took a deep breath then went to the door. He was still standing there, bold as brass. I glared at him; i wouldn't be surprised for him to feel the waves of anger radiating from my body.

"Well, Hello Bella," He smiled. I frowned. Then grimaced. I had just realised that i was wearing blue. Damn. Had Alice not seen this?

"Edward. "There was a silence. I stared at him. He was still smiling. Why was he still smiling? Why was he here? I sighed. There was no point us both playing a game that neither of us could win. My neck was stiff. I massaged my shoulder, trying to pass the time. Seconds passed. I pushed the door to close it. But i was stopped.

"So, you look um nice," he smiled again.

"You have Alice to thank for that. Though it's unbelievably uncomfortable." I pulled the hem down. He laughed. I wasn't going to let him win that easily. "Is there a reason that you are here. I thought you weren't going to talk to me anymore." I sneered. He smiled. Ugh. Still smiling. Why didn't he ever react anymore these days? Two years ago, he would have jumped immediately to his defence. Now, he said nothing.

"I went hunting. I have only just returned. I was unaware that you had other arrangements." He pointed to my dress. I smiled rudely at him.

"Yes well, now that i am better, Angela was worried initially, that i wouldn't have recovered. But now i am a picture of health." I lied. I coughed. Damn. Damn my body to the deepest pit of hell. Edward shook his head.

"You should be resting. Recovering at least. If you don't then anything could happen." He laughed.

"Edward. I shall be fine. Now please go. Angela didn't know that you were here." I reasoned.

"Obviously. You look weak Bella. Rest tomorrow," he pleaded.

"No, i am working tomorrow. Busy, busy, busy." I smiled this time. The muscles felt strained.

"Right." He finally stopped smiling, "You're still just as stubborn as always," He growled.

"And you are still-" I began, but stopped. I wasn't going to stoop to his level. "Young," i finished lamely. He sniggered again. Oh, the smiling returned.

"I had to see you," he murmured. I rolled my eyes.

"Will Angela need stitches?" i asked.

"No. A plaster will be fine," he seemed to be agitated. "Well, I'll see you around then," he turned.

"Wait!" i yelled. I remembered something. He turned around confused. "I have something that belongs to you," He walked back slowly. I left the door open and went to the drawers. I took a deep breath and pulled it open. I had put it in a box. He was confused. I pushed it over to him. He frowned at me. Then opened it. His eyes narrowed.

"How did you get these?" he sneered.

"My dad had the floors refurbished, and had the floorboards taken up." He put his hand on the bridge of his nose.

"Charlie," he groaned.

"The CD is with Esme, but the rest of the stuff is in there," i smiled. The hole was opening again. I ignored it. "Plus a bit extra," i remembered the most recent thing i had added.

"Right well thank you very much. I shall leave you too your evening," and he disappeared. Phew. I went through to the Kitchen. Angela was putting on a plaster. She was smiling grimly. She stood up.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she touched my arm. I shook my head. There was a honk coming from the driveway.

"The cab's here, shall we go, future Mrs. Ben Cheney?" i laughed, extending my arm. She giggled and took my hand.

"Let us go and have some fun," she dragged my arm, and i mentally prepared myself for the night ahead.

OOOOOOOOOO

_**MANY HOURS LATER**_

I couldn't find the slot to the key in the door. I laughed. I tried again, i laughed again. This wasn't usually that amusing but after about 3 hours of straight drinking, even a duck was amusing to us.

"Bella, why can't you open the door," Angela smiled at me, she sounded about 3. That's when i realised.

"HAHAHAHAHA, Ange, Ange, Ange. I just noticed. This is the key to the motorbike," we burst out laughing. Angela took the keys and opened the door quickly. I held my shoes in my hands. When i had a great idea. "Angela, you want to go for a swim?" i suggested, putting the keys on the table.

"Ooh. Yeah. Let's go," she dragged me to the pool. It looked so pretty. And then i remembered.

"I have a bar Ange, I have a bar," i whispered.

"Then bring on the booze!" she smiled. I stumbled over to the bar and walked behind it.

"What do you want? Vodka? A bloody Mary? A beer?" i asked, pouring some Vodka shots.

"I will have a burger with fries," she said, leaning down on my bar top, chin resting in her hands.

"Sweetie i am not McDonald's," i laughed.

"I'll have one of everything," she proclaimed. Walking over to the stereo and putting on a loud song.

"Whatever you say babe," i started to mix and match drinks. She started to strip off, down to her underwear.

"Cannon Ball!" she yelled. I smiled, taking a sip from the Whiskey bottle.

"Whoo!" i proclaimed. I got the two Lillo's that were resting on the wall. And i too got down to my lingerie like underwear. I pushed off so that i was in the middle of the pool. Angela sat on her ones.

"So, Edward's back huh?" she whispered. The buzz was wearing off slightly.

"Uh huh. The promised son returns to his awaiting fan club," i started to drown my sorrows.

"How do you feel about that," she smiled. I looked up at the ceiling.

"Remember when he left. Remember the walls i had to build? To stop myself becoming vulnerable?" I reminisced.

"Yeah I do. Just after Charlie. You made a vow. _'As long as i shall have breath in this body. Then i shall let no person, man, woman or child, get through my so carefully constructed shield, and get to my heart. And if they ever do, then they shall never leave." _She recited. I remember. Last November, after Charlie. Angela was really there for me. And she got me through it.

"The walls are 12 miles high and 12 miles wide. People don't often get through this shield. And if they do. I won't ever let them go," i swilled my martini around.

"Have you talked to Edward?" she asked. The mood was definitely gone now; we were just drowning our sorrows.

"By talked to, i told him that i didn't love him, i never had and that i never would. Does that constitute talking," i groaned. I downed my martini.

"But is it the truth?" she continued. I took a deep breath.

"Ange if I let him through my walls and into my heart, then he will just hurt me all over again. He will leave me again and i don't know if i can make it out of the other side this time," i threw my glass into the water, and started on the entire bottle of Vodka i had taken with me.

"You don't know that. And I'm sure that he won't mind about what happened. It could make the two of you stronger," she reasoned.

"Edward grew up in a very _old fashioned_ family. They raised him to believe that when i woman had been 'deflowered' then she wasn't good enough for them anymore. When he found out what happened, and _how_ it happened, he won't want anything to do with me," i sipped my Vodka.

"You don't know that. You could keep it a secret?"

"And how long would that last? A month? A Year? Ten years? It would come out eventually. There is no point in hiding it." I grumbled.

"And if he found out about Charlie?"

"I don't want to know." She took a deep breath this time.

"But you didn't answer my question?" I looked at her, bemused, "Do you still love Edward?" I sighed.

"Of course I still love him"....


	15. Chapter 15

_**Hey Guys. I am so sorry that i haven't updated in like forever. I got Merlin Fever. And i have been harassed by one of friends to at school to upload, so i have. I just got so sidetracked. I wanted to upload a decent length chapter, so here it is. Remember to Read and Review. Oh and Watch Merlin! **_

**OOOOOOOOOO**

There was a thud on the wooden table. Of a heavy book making contact with the hard mahogany. I looked up, to see the smiling face of Emmett Cullen, beaming as he started to hum baby got back very loudly.

"I would like to buy this book, history of the cymbals," he pronounced every syllable, getting louder and louder. I glared at him as i swiped it through.

"$16.99," i said through clenched teeth. He handed me the Cullen credit card. It was shiny, hard and smooth. It felt like it weighed thousand pounds just holding it. I smiled at him grimly handing it back to him.

"Thank you, uh, what was your name again?" he asked, he looked like he was going to laugh.

"It's Chardonnay," i replied, smiling broadly. He did laugh now.

"Well thank you very much _Chardonnay,_" He smiled.

"Bite me Emmett," i growled, he laughed as he left the shop. Ugh. This was not good. I had the world's worst hangover; the pain in my stomach seemed to be a constant numbness, at certain points in time it would get ten times worse. But i was completely drugged up on Tylenol that I took every four hours, on the four hours. It was like no other pain i had ever felt before. Even when i thought that my pain boundaries had been pushed to the limits and i had survived, and yet here i was. Trying to make it through one minute at a time. And worse still, i couldn't recall any of the night from about the third club. I don't even remember how we got home. All i remember is coming round, at the area around the poles, lying on a Lillo. Angela was dead to the world, floating on the surface of the water.

I was in no fit state to drive, the amount of drugs that were rattling about in my system. It wouldn't be so bad if i wasn't in so much damn pain. I really should get that checked out one of these days. Oh well it wasn't going to kill me. The cab was coming for me at 5.30, the time my shift ended. Alex had been very supportive at least, letting me have that time off so that i could heal. And he didn't seem to question my hangover this morning. He had been very supportive. It was 5.25pm and a very long shift. To be honest i just wanted to go to sleep. That cannot be a good thing. My eyes were red from everything. My first experience with a hangover, and i pray to god that it was my last. My cell phone rang .I groaned; i flipped it open without looking at the caller ID.

"Whoever it is go away!" i groaned down the line. There was a tinkling laugh.

"Bella, this is why you don't drink. You can't take it," Alice laughed.

"I think i know my limits," i grumbled.

"Is that why, when Jasper and I were taking a walk last night, well this morning... We saw you teaching Angela how to lap dance?" she smiled. I got a flash back.

"_Well Angela, remember when i went to Phoenix, i met a very nice girl, by the name of Sapphire, and she taught me a few moves," I moved to the two silver poles, the ones i had woken up at the bottom of this morning, as bad to the bone played. _

"Ugh...It's all coming back to me," i moaned, she laughed.

"You know what, i really wish you could get drunk, so then you would know what it was like," i snapped. She just laughed.

"Bella?" it was Alex. I looked up at him. "You're free to go now sweetheart. I'll see you on Thursday," I nodded; i noticed the discomfort in my mind when he called me sweetheart. I still had Alice on the line as i took my little black handbag onto my shoulder. I limped also. I think i had sprained my ankle in last night's events.

"Bella, you still with me?" Alice sounded nervous.

"Yeah, I'm just getting out onto the street. It's raining."

"Honey we're in Alaska. Not LA."

"I feel like a Coffee," i started to make my way across the abandoned street, hobbling.

It was all too fast. Just like the van all that time ago. The rain was hammering down on my head, which still needed to be stitched up from my fall. And it appeared out of nowhere. The rainwater sloshed around the tyres as it careered down the street, not noticing me apparently.

"BELLA!"Alice yelled down the phone. I took a deep breath, ready for the impact to come, closing my eyes tightly in a hope that it would stop the pain would be gone quicker if i screwed my eyes tight enough. But it wasn't the collision with a hard metal frame that i had been expecting that i felt. I felt two stone cold hands grab my hands from the front, making me stumble forwards into somebody's arms. I dared not look up. Fearing that i would not like what i saw.

"Bella? What the hell were you thinking?" i heard his voice. And i had to laugh.

"Bella? Bella?" I heard Alice on the other end of the phone.

"I'm fine Alice; your brother saved me,"

"Oh? Which one?" she sounded confused.

"Emmett. Ahh, good times. Now um, coffee" Emmett looked confused, and i could only hear Alice stuttering on the other end of the line.

"Bella, are you okay?" Emmett frowned, it looked strange. I hung up the phone on Alice, and focused all of my attention on Emmett.

"Yes Emmett, i am fine. Like Edward used to say, danger magnet." I flinched suddenly, the pain was getting worse, and i almost doubled over in pain. My throat went dry; my head started to spin and it was as if someone was kicking me repeatedly in the stomach.

Emmett scooped me up into his arms and i didn't even realise that we were running, until i opened my eyes, and shrubbery was passing us by. Anger filled my senses.

"Emmett put me down!" i shouted, my voice echoing off the trees.

"I promised Edward that if you had that pain again i would take you to Carlisle and its fun to see you squirm," he smiled, i growled.

"Edward has no right to command you to make promises. Everything is fine, i swear, just bring me back home," he stopped suddenly, Looking at my clenched fist, then chuckled, halting suddenly.

"Fine, but if you even flinch again, i am turning this vampire around," He smiled at me, and then made a sharp right. I tried to stay serene in those minutes that i flew through the forest, trying not to think about the stabbing pain that was progressively getting worse as the minutes went on. The pain had never been this bad before, never had i experienced such pain. Well there was one time, but this was a different type of pain. My eyes were tightly closed.

I felt Emmett come to a gradual slow i dared open my eyes, i wasn't scared of the speed anymore, but my pains were making everything make me nauseous. We were approaching my house, and rain was beginning to fall. I sighed, even though the rain made me cooler, i didn't like the wet at all.

"Now, i am only on the other end of the phone if you need me." He put me on the porch step.

"Ok, but everything is going to be fine Emmett; honestly, i swear," i crossed my heart and smiled.

"Bella i have something to tell you," he seemed uneasy. I paused.

"What's wrong?" i started to panic, was it Alice, Jasper, Esme?

"Well we're going up to Denali this week. So try not to get into too much trouble," he laughed but i could tell it was false. I nodded in agreement.

"When are you leaving?" it hurt just to say that, but i knew that it was going to happen eventually.

"When i get back," he laughed. "Until next Sunday,"

"Sure, ok. Have fun," i forced a smile. Just seven days, seven short days. It wasn't going to kill me, to be without them. Admittedly the walls were getting broken down by Emmett, getting closer to my heart, but i feared to what they would come back too. I sighed.

"Jasper and I can stay if you want? Alice too!" he started to jump up and down.

"Don't break my porch!" he stopped, "Um, no Emmett that would be rude to the Denali's. Just get out of here, and go and have fun. Or whatever the kids are calling i these days," he hugged me tightly before speeding off to his house.

I sighed

A week of loneliness. On the plus side, a week without Edward. My heart panged, for some reason it hurt to think of not being around him. I didn't remember half of my conversation with Angela when we were drowning our sorrows. But I knew we talked about the walls that i had had to build. Had Edward been a part of that conversation? No, why would we have talked about that idiot.

I opened the door slowly. It was tidy. Alice had obviously been here, to clean up. I loved that girl. I dropped the keys in the dish by the door, and examined myself in the hallway mirror. I looked hung-over. There was no other word for it. I looked like a panda too. How had i gone to work like this?

I flinched as the pain, which was a dull, numbing sensation whilst Emmett we here, resurfaced. I took deep breaths as i walked up the stairs and into my bathroom. My hands shaking slightly from the pain.

This was getting serious. As much as i didn't want to go to Carlisle again. I think i would have too. This was getting ridiculous. I had been in pain for a very long time. Well this type of pain at least. Since i was in Phoenix this summer, but it wasn't that bad at the time. But over the past three months it had become common. I guess one more week wasn't going to kill me. I was Isabella Swan, i had been through much worse than this, and i probably would go through worse than this. The bath tub was full to the brim, with hot steaming water, that could obviously scold me, but it might numb the pain of the throbbing.

I stripped off and entered the boiling water. I was right, it did feel better already. I don't know how long i was sitting in there, but i fell asleep at some point and when i woke up, the water was cold. It was dark outside too. The Cullen's would have been gone by now. Like they had the last time. And even though i knew that they would be back in a week, it didn't stop the shivers from travelling down my spine. But i wasn't their main priority, just a pet of theirs. As Laurent told me once.

As soon as i left the bath i felt immediately colder. Pulling on a silky blue nightgown, which went down the floor, it resembled more of a gown then a thing you would wear at night. Well what single people would wear at night. The matching silky dressing down and slippers to match. I had coordinated without even realising it.

Tonight was a night to do something reckless. The pain was gone and i thought that i deserved a martini. The bar by my poolside had been restocked, courtesy of Jasper or Emmett. Rosalie if she wanted me to be so utterly wasted that i was incapable of leaving my own house. I poured it out slowly, my arm resting on the marble topped finish. It reminded me of a simpler time. A time when i could be younger, carefree. But that was taken away from me that night in Port Angeles.

I went to take a sip when suddenly the pain overtook me. The glass smashed in my hands, the colourless liquid, mixed with my blood stained my hands. It was worse than it had ever been before. There were spots appearing in my vision. It was as if there was a being trying to pull out of me coming from me stomach area. I screamed in pain, the tears flowing freely down my face. Clutching my abdomen with my right hand, and pulling my cell phone out with my other, i pressed a bunch of numbers, trying to get through to anybody that would listen. I was screaming the pain was too much; closing my eyes didn't help either, because it was ten times worse. What was going on? I clutched the silky material. Trying desperately to stop it if i could. Nothing was working.

"Bella?" i heard a voice from the other end of the phone. I sighed. I recognised the voice, but they would never get here in time. But they deserved to know. I had been in pain that almost equalled this before. With James, when he bit me. I knew i was going to die.

"MAKE IT STOP! PLEASE SOMEONE MAKE IT STOP!" I yelled. I didn't mean to say that, but it was what was came out. I screamed again.

"Bella? What's the matter honey," the voice seemed tense, i screamed again, panting trying to get my breath. My voice breaking when i tried to speak.

"Tell Charlie that," i screamed again, "I'm sorry and that," the tears were falling thick and fast now, and if this was the last thing that i got to say, then i think it would be a worth choice of last words. "Tell him that he was a great Dad, and that i love him," The phone went dead.

I cried, it was getting worse, my vision was going black. I started to think about those i would be leaving behind. Charlie, my father, who would find solace with his new family. The Cullen's, who would be glad to be rid of me at last, Jake and Angela; my best friends. As i was screaming at the top of my lungs. But nobody would hear me scream out here. Only the trees.

Not only the Cullen's. I was glad that the last faces that i saw were perfect ones. I was going, i could feel it. My head was hammering; everything was in so much pain. And things were never going to get any better, and i threw my cell on the floor, trying to stay upright. It didn't work, and then i drifted...


	16. Chapter 16

**Sorry for such a long break, i just wasn't inspired. But i have been now. There are a lot of things to be revealed in this chapter, including the mysterious pain...Well done Silversong, the only person to guess correctly...**

**REVIEW!!!!**

**OOOOOOOOOO**

"_You're simply a human that was in the wrong place, at the wrong time..." James' voice echoed in my thoughts.  
"You're not good for me Bella, I don't want you anymore. I don't love you anymore..." Edward's painful rebuff pierced my mind.  
"We can't be friends anymore Bella," Jake's tough gruff voice bounced off of surfaces that i could not see.  
"What is a girl like you doing, in a place like this?" i remembered the way that he had spoken to me, and his friend. What they had done.  
"I'm sorry Miss Swan, but we were too late, we couldn't save him. I am so sorry," the words of the sympathetic doctor trying to comfort me. The ways the tears has started to fall, and how Alice and Jasper had been there, trying to help me out of my depression. _

_Suddenly everything was very real. The sharp pain that i felt coming from the all too familiar place. How, even in the darkness, i was seeing spots in my vision. How all my bad memories came rushing to my head? And how everything was now different..._

_OOOOOOOOOO_

It was too comfortable, and in much too much pain to be in heaven. I seemed for having a knack at avoiding death. But now, i felt truly pained. I could hear the steadily beating monitor, which showed my heartbeat in the distance. I could feel the IV in my arm, and the tubes that were in my nose. I groaned.

I felt angry, and hurt and upset. As much as i was happy that i was in hospital. I was angry, because i had accepted that i was going to die. I was not frightened or scared, just waiting for the pain to end. And now i was angry. Angry that my relief was taken away. I opened my eyes to be comforted by a white washed room. Again. I could see nothing familiar in this room. Nothing to indicate where i was. I saw my cell phone sitting on the table that lay next to the bed i was lying in. This was odd, because i remembered quite clearly dropping it, when i was writhing in pain. I slid it open. Nothing to indicate what had happened in my absence of consciousness.

I couldn't just lie here and wait for somebody to talk to me. I pulled the covers off of me. A little sting by the movement in my lower abdomen. It was not like the usual pain, it was a lot more bearable. I paused, sitting on the edge of the bed. Touching my stomach where the pain usually was, it wasn't my skin, but a soft bandage. My eyes widened.

What had happened to me?

Where was I?

I felt a salty tear escape my eyes. I wiped it away swiftly away. Trying to keep it from starting a flood. I took a deep breath, trying to get the feeling of something bad was going to happen. I put my head back on my pillow, trying to concentrate on my surroundings. Even though i knew i was safe, it was irritating not to know where i was. I stared at the ceiling with contempt. It was like, even though i did not know where i was. I felt strangely safe. I sighed. I touched my stomach where the bandage was, it felt new. It must not have been there for long.

How long had i been here?

A day?

A month?

I sighed. I suppose i could call somebody. But who? I had no recollection of what had happened before i entered here. Except that i was in the bath. The rest was a blur. Glass, pain? I shook my head. No. It couldn't have happened. I yawned. I had not been awake for a while and that was natural, for me to yawn. I stretched too. Sitting up, i looked around the room. It looked more like a bedroom than a hospital room. The photos around the room were much more personal, than ones that would be in a hospital. I got up again. Taking my IV with me. There was a chest of drawers with several photos on it. I picked up the nearest one. Then gasped. It was a photo of me. But not any photo of me. The very same photo of me that had caused my most recent almost fatal injury. The photo that had I had thrown to the floor in distaste then plummeted down sharp stairs.

A tear fell to the glass that protected the kissing couple. Half of it used to be me. I gently pressed it back to the top of the chest of drawers, face down. How could i have been so stupid? Of course i was going to be here. Of all the places, in all of the world, i was in the very place that i despised. Edward's Bedroom. I wiped my tears from my cheeks and sniffled.

But how had i gotten here? I knew that they were going to Denali for a week, is that how long i had been here? I rubbed my eyes wearily. This was too much stress, and something told me this was not good for me. I took some soothing deep breaths, the way i had taught myself. But this pain was brand new. I didn't know how to deal with it. I wobbled my way to the bed, gripping the edge of the bed. My cheeks were filled with blood.

It stopped.

I flopped down on the bed, tears running down my face in agitation. The soft satin sheets, on the soft mattress. Clawing at the duvet. Not in pain, but in sadness. There was a knock at the door. I froze. I pulled myself together. Then walked over to the oak door. Pausing before opening it.

They knocked again.

I sighed then slowly opened the door. A smile graced her features and i couldn't bring myself to make any emotion on my face.

"Bella?" She said in a small voice, moving forwards slightly. "I have come to change your dressing. Can you let me in please?" she pleaded. I moved sideways slowly, letting her through. She pulled me towards the bed, but she wasn't as hyper as she usually was. Her pixie like hair was uncombed and her eyes were like coal.

"Alice i can do it myself. It's fine. Go and hunt," i found my voice, it sounded hoarse.

"No, honestly, i can handle it." She smiled. Getting my right hand in hers and undid the bandages that i had not noticed beforehand. There was a silence, whilst i concentrated on anything other than the stinging in my hand. I sighed.

"Alice, what happened?" i was afraid of the answer that would follow. She looked into my eyes and sighed also.

"You are lucky that Jasper decided to go hunting before we left." She whispered. "Carlisle, Esme and I were waiting for him to return. Suddenly, i couldn't see your future anymore. Everything went black for you. I couldn't see anything. Like you were dead." She was holding back invisible tears, but continued to change my bandages.

"So I am dead?" i asked sceptically.

"We were waiting in the kitchen, when Jasper came through the back door, sopping wet and carrying you in his arms. There were so many possibilities running through my mind, your future. Death, life or immortality." She muttered the last option. Well i knew i wasn't immortal, i had known that as soon as i had woken up, the beeping of the monitor had proven that to me.

"What happened?" i was beginning to get angry.

"Emmett feels so guilty. Like it was all his fault. He's just been moping around, shopping with Rosalie." I looked at her again. "You were lucky that Carlisle was there too."

"What happened to me Alice? I am getting concerned," She laughed.

"You know that pain you have been getting. How long have you been getting it?" she had stopped the redressing now. I thought about it for a minute. Trying to pinpoint the time when it happened.

"When i was in Jacksonville with Renée and Anthony." I breathed. I lay back on the pillows. She laughed bitterly.

"Two months? Two months." She shook her head, "Bella." She touched my face. "That was your appendix. It was infected. That was the reason that you fainted, on your birthday. That was the reason that you got the flu." I nodded in understanding.

"My appendix," i whispered.

"I wish that Carlisle had listened to Edward. When he came back. He wanted him to run tests. To see what was wrong with you. How had i not seen this?" she muttered.

"So my appendix," i said, trying to change the subject.

"Well, like i said. Lucky that Carlisle was here. He did surgery on you. He saved your life." She smiled. I nodded.

"How long have i been in here?"

"A few days. It's the 5th of November." She explained. "Everybody's back now. Esme has been worried sick. And they are all angry at you," she smiled.

"What did i do?" I threw my legs off of the bed. She laughed.

"Oh, I'll let them tell you." I grabbed onto her shoulder. "Do you want me to carry you?"

"Um..."

"Good thing we have this then," she pulled a wheelchair from underneath the bed. I groaned as she lifted me into it. She seemed in a better mood at least. She threw a thick blanket over me. I stared at her. She wheeled me out of the room and into the hall that led downstairs.

"I doubt that this house is wheelchair accessible," I frowned.

"Oh it is don't worry," She pressed a button on the wall and an elevator appeared in the wall. I rolled my eyes. Of course the Cullen's had an elevator. She wheeled me in. I really felt like i was in a hospital. There was even soothing music playing in the background. The doors opened and Alice wheeled me out into the kitchen. Esme was humming, making scrambled eggs, Jasper was reading the paper. They stopped what they were doing. Esme turned around, smiling and frowning at the same time; Jasper lowered the paper and looked vacant.

"Hey," i whispered. Suddenly sitting next to Jasper was the looming figure of Emmett. He looked angry.

"Oh, i am not missing this," he growled. I looked away from him and stared at my lap.

"So, um...Why are you angry with me?" i asked. Not daring to look up, for fear of what i would see. Esme went first.

"Isabella Marie Swan, you could have died. How do you think I felt when i saw Jasper come through the door, with your lifeless body in his arms?" she growled.

"Thanks for that by the way," i looked at Jasper, he nodded curtly. I looked at Esme's wild expression. "I am sorry. Honestly. I didn't think anything of it at the time. In fact i was going to see Carlisle when you returned from Denali. I knew it was getting worse. I didn't know that you were still here, or i would have called. I'm so sorry Esme," i pleaded.

"It's fine. You are okay, that's all that matters," she smiled and went back to making eggs. I took a deep breath. Jasper went next.

"I thought you were dead Bella. Your eyes were glassy, you weren't moving. Only when i heard your faint heartbeat i acted. I thought i was too late Bella," he growled.

"But you weren't. Thank you. So much. I owe you my life. I don't know how i can repay you."

"By not being so noble would be a start," he hissed.

"Deal. Am i forgiven?" i asked hopefully.

"Fine. Just don't put yourself at risk again," he smiled, raising his paper. I looked at Emmett.

"If i hadn't listened to you then this would never have happened, would it?" he whispered.

"If you hadn't listened to me, then i wouldn't have let Carlisle inspect me. Seriously, you have to stop blaming yourself." I laughed.

"Okay, cool. Now. Can i see your scar?" he laughed. I laughed. I tried to distract myself from all of the things going around my brain. Like what was going to happen when Edward reappeared.

"Where is everybody?" I asked.

"Well there are some Werewolves in town. They want to pick a fight. Carlisle has gone to reason with them," Emmett said matter of factly. I spluttered. Werewolves. Couldn't be.

"Give me the phone. Is Carlisle there now?" i was losing it. Esme passed me the phone nodding.

I dialled Carlisle's number into Esme's phone. The rest of the room was looking at me as if i had gone mad. I waited for him to answer. I hoped that they had done nothing they would regret.

"Hello Sweetheart, what's wrong?" he sounded happy.

"Carlisle, its Bella. Tell me, how many wolves are there and what do they look like?" i tapped the arm of the wheelchair.

"Well one is quite gangly and sandy brown in colour and the other is russet brown. Why?" He sounded confused.

"Don't hurt them! I know them!" i yelled.

"How?" Emmett asked. I sighed; the Cullen's didn't know about the Wolves, they weren't there to see them.

"Because one of them is my Step-Brother!"

OOOOOOOOOO

**REVIEW!!!!**


	17. Chapter 17

_Merry Christmas everybody! This is my Christmas Present to you! Remember to review!!_

_OOOOOOOOOO_

**The huge jeep that I had only been in three times; raced through the forest terrain heading in the direction for where Carlisle and Seth were talking. I willed Emmett to go faster, even though he was already going at a hundred miles per hour. I was scared that Seth would do something that he would later regret. He was only 14 after all; he didn't process things as an adult mind did. The radio was pumping heavy rock metal, making me cringe. I was twiddling my thumbs, hoping that time would go faster. Emmett was just smiling widely, as if he knew everything that was going on inside my head, but not even Edward knew that. I was drumming my fingers on the dashboard, trying to stop the anxiety from brimming over my face. I could feel my heart racing in my chest and I hoped that it would slow. **

**We came to a clearing, there were three pale figures that I could see and then a pair of Native American's standing well back from them, towards the edge of the clearing. I looked at the now empty driver's seat and could feel the ice cold hands undoing the harness that had protected me from the rough terrain. Emmett smiled as he pulled me into his arms and sped off to group of vampires and werewolves. I sheltered my face from the wind by burying my face in Emmett's torso. When he came to a standstill I looked over to the other side of the clearing. **

"**Hey Sis," I looked at the shorter boy. I smiled. **

"**Hey," the tears beginning to brim over, "What are you two doing here?" I smiled, looking between the two of them**

"**Well you called me last week. Telling me to tell Charlie you loved him. Then we decided to pay you a visit after you stopped answering your cell." Seth smiled. I laughed. I felt a growl rumble in Emmett's chest. **

"**Emmett put me down," he glared at me, "Please," **

"**Can you walk?" he sighed.**

"**Yes." I hissed. He laughed and put me onto the ground. I turned now; Carlisle was joined by Rosalie and Edward.**

**I took a deep breath and started to walk towards my friends, but Jake beat me to it. He ran to meet me, smiling, but then he did something that I had not expected. He kissed me full on the mouth, and I felt myself respond. I ran my fingers through his short hair; he pulled me closer to him and wrapped his arms around my waist. We broke apart and I looked dumbfounded up at him. He smiled. **

"**I thought you were dead," he laughed. **

"**It's fine, honestly," I looked at him. There was a loud crack coming from the trees, we looked around, Carlisle frowned, Rosalie was holding Emmett's hand. **

"**That dude has some serious issues," Emmett laughed. I smiled. At him remembering that we were not alone. "I'll go talk to him, come on Rose," he put his arm around her shoulders and they ran off towards the edge of the clearing. Carlisle looked at us bemused, and then smiled a small smile before returning to the edge of then forest. I sighed. **

"**Seth!" I smiled. **

"**Bella!" he pulled me into his arms and twirled me around. I laughed, barely noticing the snow that was fluttering down onto my hair. **

"**How's Dad?" **

"**He's fine, we didn't't tell him what happened, not until we knew what happened. He only just got back from his honeymoon," Jake smiled, watching the snow melt in his hand. I would have been cold, had Seth not have been so hot. **

"**We should get going," I muttered. **

"**Oh fine Bella, we come all this way just to check that you were ok, but yeah, we'll just go back to La Push." Jake said melodramatically. **

"**You know I was kidding Jake, I meant back to my house." I looked around the large clearing that resembled the baseball field, realizing that I had no idea as to where I was. **

"**Not where those filthy bloodsuckers live though? Right?" Jake growled. **

"**Stop it. Behave, they have taken care of me Jake. They didn't't have to. I think I am beginning to irritate them. Especially Alice, I can tell," I sighed. **

"**Come on Bella, this cold can't be good for you,"Seth proclaimed, trying to break the tension. He pulled me into his arms, cradling me against the harsh winds. "Get ready," he laughed. I sighed and we fled towards the edge of the clearing. Through to the snow covered trees and birds squawking in the distance; my hair was flowing with the speed of the three of us. Flying into Seth's face but amazingly not impairing his vision. I didn't't even realize the way we were going, or where we were until we came to a stop outside the Cullen's house. **

"**Where too now?" Seth said brightly, considering where we were he was, he was very bright and excited. I paused for a moment to look at the house; a figure flickered in an upstairs window. Alice. On the phone by the looks of it. **

"**Um, 8 miles that way," I pointed towards my own house. **

"**Awesome!" Seth laughed, running once more down the road. I was shocked when I realised that we had gotten to my house in 1 minute 30 seconds, beating Emmet's 2 minutes. They really were faster. Jake whistled as he looked at my house. I blushed, I had never gotten used to accepting the grand gestures that were made by the Cullen's. Seth walked me to my door. I was about to point to the keys that I kept under the mat, when Jake kicked the door in. I jumped. He smiled at me, revealing all of his teeth. **

"**What?" he laughed. I frowned. **

"**I don't have a front door now…"I whispered. **

"**Oh yeah, sorry about that, but hey, let's sit down and catch up." He walked in. I looked up at Seth who just shrugged. I sighed, pointing to the living room. Seth lay me down on the sofa and sat down next to me to keep me warm. Jake sat on the plush armchair that sat in front of the fire. "So what's new?" Jake laughed. **

"**Well um, I had appendicitis, nearly died, and had a whole family that I never thought that I would see again come back into my life. And I have a house...You?" I smiled. **

"**Well, Leah imprinted on a dude called Ryan last week. The dude is fine with it." Seth growled. **

"**Getting a bit territorial aren't we Seth?" I poked him in the ribs. **

"**Of all the men, in the entire world she had to imprint on the Canadian snowboarder," Seth laughed. **

"**Seth's just touchy because she has had sex with him. And is getting a little gender confused," Jake laughed. I nodded, looking at my step-brother. **

"**It will be fine hun." I patted his hand lightly; the phone rang on the table next to my arm. I sighed and picked it up. **

"**Hello?" I asked. **

"**Bella, its Carlisle." He explained, I smiled. **

"**Hey, what's up?" **

"**Listen, I need to do a follow up exam on you. Make sure there is no internal bleeding and such. Is there a convenient time for me to pop round?" he asked. I looked at them to boys in my room. Jake still looked 16. **

"**Now is fine." **

"**Okay, give me five minutes," he said, then hung up. **

"**So I guess we are going hunting?" Jake grumbled. I laughed. **

"**Tell you what, here, take my card. Go into town get a few bad movies, some popcorn and we will treat ourselves," I took my purse out of the table. **

"**Sweet," Seth grinned. "Lets go," They had disappeared a moment later. I sighed again. Bringing myself to my feet, I grabbed onto the furniture, trying to stay upright as I walked out of the room towards the great Titanic staircase that led up to my room. It took me a while to get back into the rhythm of walking. Suddenly I felt a cold hand around my waist and another supporting my arm. I looked up to see Carlisle smiling at me. **

"**You alright Bella?" he laughed.**

"**Yeah, I am fine. A little tender but fine," I replied. We reached my bedroom, and I lay down on my bed so that he could examine me. Carlisle's fingers were like magic and they made me feel relaxed and at ease. That was until after the examination. **

"**Well Bella, everything seems to be in order here," he smiled.**

"**Good. Is there anything else you need to talk to me about?" I laughed. But he suddenly went serious. **

"**Actually Bella, there is." He paused, sitting on my bed. **

"**What is it?" I laughed. He sighed. **

"**Bella, I couldn't help but notice, when I was operating on you. You already had a scar," he paused.**

**Crap...**

"**Really?" I asked playing dumb. "Do you know what it was for?" I questioned. **

"**I think we both know what that scar was for. But why did you not tell me?" **

"**I didn't think that it was important." I replied honestly. "But please, you can't tell anybody. Jasper, Alice and Angela know, but nobody else." **

"**Bella of course it is important. But where is the proof?" he asked, gesturing around the room. I knew what he was talking about. **

"**Carlisle...Please..." I begged. **

"**Ok, I will. But take care of yourself hun. Please?" he asked. **

"**Thank you," I replied. **

"**If you ever need to talk, Esme or I are just down the street. Okay?" he said, cupping my chin. I nodded. "Well then feel better," and with that he left the room, and my secret was still safe for another day...**


	18. Chapter 18

_**Okay guys, I know you must all hate me, i haven't uploaded anything for a very long time...but, here is the next instalment, please review, if you can **__**J**___

**OOOOOOOOOO**

Over the next few weeks, I did not see a lot of the Cullen's, not that they were rude about it, they just didn't like who was staying at my house. But it was nice to hang out with my other friends once in a while. To get away from the whole Edward drama. It wasn't good for me or for my recovery. I was healing quickly, which was good, and the wound had not become infected, but I had received some bad news.

Renee didn't want to stress me out with Anthony, Jake had told her about my appendicitis and she didn't want me to be running around after a toddler. She was going to cook Phil, her and the baby a traditional thanksgiving meal. I pitied them; I knew how unpredictable her cooking could be.

And all too soon it was time for me to say goodbye to my step-brother and friend. Seth was hell bent on staying here to look after me. Even though I was practically healed now. The pain was now just a dull memory to me. And I wished that I would never have to go through anything like that again. He was being the protective brother over me. I liked it.

Jake was being the more reasonable of the two, I could see it in his eyes that he didn't want to leave me, but Sam had ordered them home, so they both had to go whether they wanted to or not. The way I had caught him staring at me sometimes during these past few days. It was lightly raining as we stood out on the porch. Seth had already phased and was facing the direction of the raining street. Jake was still yet to phase and this goodbye was going to be the toughest one.

"Ok Bella, I will call you when I get home. Take care of yourself." He pulled me into his huge embrace. I grabbed at his neck and I felt my arms instantly heat up at his touch, the wolf heat immediately made me aware of him.

"I love you hun," I whispered. And with one last longing look, he disappeared with the wolf Seth into the forest. My hand still raised in Farewell as a big silver car came down the deserted street. My eyes narrowed as it stopped suddenly just before where I was standing. I was suddenly was aware that I was only wearing a kimono, and I froze. The door was slowly opening and I pulled the light fabric over myself self consciously.

"Hello Sweetheart," The Woman said, lowering her huge sunglasses. I broke into a smile.

"Mum?" I gasped. She smiled at me broadly.

"Yes baby girl, I have missed you so much," She slammed the door, and ran to me.

"What are you doing here?" I smiled, looking at the car, over her shoulder.

"Jake called me; he told me that you didn't want to be alone over the holidays. So we all decided to surprise you,"

"Why we you mean?"

"Phil, Anthony and I," She smiled. I laughed.

"Let me help you with your stuff," I offered. And I saw Phil sitting in the front seat, turned to face his son, eyes full of adoration. Anthony was sleeping in a car seat, and his fair brown hair lay lightly on his head. He looked angelic and wondered what would have happened to me, if things had been different.

**OOOOOOOOOO**

"Anthony be careful," I warned as he played in the small playground on the Cliffside. There was a definite ice patch on the grass but Anthony safely in the play pen I was fine.

"Bella are you sure you are okay? I can come and help you if you want?" Angela said, I could tell she felt bad, about the whole appendicitis thing.

"Ange, its fine. I will see you tomorrow," I smiled down the phone. The line went dead suddenly. I frowned; she must have gone through a tunnel or something. I turned to the swing set again, where Anthony was playing before.

There was nobody there. I looked around the playground searching for my little brother. Deserted.

"Anthony? Anthony!" I screamed, starting to panic.

"Bewwa!" I snapped around, I grimaced in horror. Anthony was on the edge of the cliff, sitting on a small patch of ice. How on earth had he gotten over there?

"Tony? Sweetheart stay still for me," I urged, walking tentatively towards him. He was playing with the slush in his hands.

"Bewwa!" He smiled and went to get up. I held my breath in anxiety. "AHH" He slipped and fell off the cliff and into the icy waters below.

"ANTHONY!" I screeched, my voice going up by two decibels.

I didn't think about what I was doing, I threw my cell phone down and just ran. I ran and ran faster towards the edge of the cliff before throwing myself off the cliff to save my brother, who I could see approaching the icy depths. He looked so scared, as his face disappeared underneath the waves.

It seemed to take forever to reach the water. And when I finally did I couldn't see my brother anywhere. The red parka he was wearing could either drag him down or float him up. But I didn't know where he was. I swam around in frantic circles, trying to see a red blob under the water. There was nothing there.

Where was my baby brother?

"ANTHONY!" I yelled in the water, but I was muted by the water's bubbles. If I could cry then I would have. It was my entire fault. How was I going to face Renée? Tell her that her baby was lost at sea.

I suddenly felt a large pair of arms wrapped around my waist and pulling me upwards towards the surface. I needed to get deeper to find him. He will be scared. I _needed _to find him...

I coughed and spluttered as I reached the surface. Tears rolling down my cheeks and trying to get away from the strong stone arms that kept me above water.

"What the hell Bella?" I turned to look at him. His curly brown hair straight from the water.

"I have to find him. I have to find the baby!" I growled. Kicking him, only hurting my own foot in the process.

"Edward has taken the kid back to Carlisle. He was only in the water for a second. But he was a little cold."

"Edward?" I sobbed.

"Bella, hang on." Emmett said, and then we were back on dry land.

"Tony is fine?" I wailed. "He's okay?"

"Yes Bella, he's fine. You're going hysterical. I'm taking you home,"

I didn't really follow the journey. I couldn't focus on anything really. My baby brother nearly dying, especially only two days before the anniversary. I couldn't take it anymore.

"Emmett? How do you know Tony is okay?"

"Shh. I just do," Emmett laughed grimly. He was lying.

"Where is Tony?" I shuddered. Emmett sighed and kicked open the door. "Put me down."

"Bella? What the hell happened?" Alice shouted. Picking me up, taking me from Emmett's arms.

"Alice? Where is Anthony?" I begged, suddenly feeling a large drumming on my forehead.

"He's fine. Just getting a little warmer."

"I WANT TO SEE HIM!" I yelled.

"He's here," I whipped around to see Rosalie holding my brother in her arms. She smiled at me grimly. He was sleeping.

Alice put me down and I ran over to the sleeping baby. Rosalie was rocking him gently. He was wearing different clothes too. She seemed to be a natural.

"Thank you," I whispered. Feeling remotely calmer. Stroking one of his cherub cheeks. He was so peaceful. I sighed. For once I was glad of Jasper's mood control powers. I took deep breaths and relaxed. I felt Alice's hand on my back, rubbing in circular motions.

"Is he warm enough?" I asked.

"Yes, he has thermal blankets." Rosalie nodded. She looked directly at me, "He is going to be fine Bella. You should go and get checked out. You hit your head," She noticed.

"Thank you Rosalie, take care of him for me until he wakes up," I pleaded.

"Of course Bella." She grasped my hand.

"Bella come on. We'll get you some clothes." Alice soothed, leading me away from Rosalie and my brother.

I walked away from them in a daze the water from my hair dripped onto the floors. But I was beyond caring. I felt so cold suddenly, like the wind had been knocked out of me. And I was just walking aimlessly. Emmett had saved my life, but how had he gotten there in the first place? I came face to face with Edward suddenly.

There was an awkward silence...

"Bella? Are you alright?" He asked. His hair was dripping with sea water and I was emotional. I released myself from Alice's grip and walked over to Edward's bewildered frame. Throwing my arms around his neck.

"Thank you" I whispered. "For saving him. You didn't have too," I swayed a little. He wrapped his arms around my waist, but I didn't care for once. I closed my eyes, in concentration.

"It's fine. Don't worry, I wasn't going to let anything happen to Anthony," He smiled.

"I should get dry." I loosened my arms, and looked into his butterscotch eyes. He seemed to agree, and he allowed Alice to take me away.

**OOOOOOOOOO**

"Bewwa!" He sat on my lap, as we sat on Jasper and Alice's bed. I was wearing a dry nightgown of Rosalie's and my hair was wrapped up in a towel.

"Tony, you scared me." I stroked his head; he was playing with a pair of Alice's earrings.

"Sowwy. Lowve you Bella," He smiled at me innocently. My two year old brother and he was already melting my heart.

"I know. Mum knows you are going to stay here tonight with me. So go to sleep."

"I don't wanna!" He said through a yawn.

There was a knock at the door, Edward and Esme walked in. Edward brandishing a tray filled with food and Esme a hot water bottle. Anthony pulled the covers over his head so he was lying on me now. Away from the people he did not know. Anthony was shy.

"Are you comfortable enough Bella?" Esme smiled, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Yes very. I am sorry about the intrusion." Anthony was playing with the silky ruffles on the cuffs of my pyjamas.

"Don't be silly Bella." Alice appeared next to me on her bed. "It's fine honestly." I narrowed my eyes slowly. Stroking Anthony's back soothingly. I felt Tony's breathing on my chest.

"Alright then." I smiled and Alice disappeared. I sighed and took the hot water bottle from Esme who smiled at me before leaving again. I narrowed my eyes again, this left Edward and I alone. The tray of food sat on the edge of the bed and I prepared myself for the tirade that he was sure to unleash upon me.

"Bella, I have to ask what the hell you were thinking," He leant on one of the posters. I shut my eyes, feeling Anthony lying on my stomach.

"It's not the first time I jumped off a cliff Edward," I said matter of factly, not thinking about what I just said. By the time I realised my mistake, it was too late. He tilted his head to the left in a questioning stance.

"I know it's none of my business, but how many times have you jumped off a cliff exactly?" He passed me the tray. I closed my eyes tightly.

"Edward, do we have to do this now? I mean, can't it wait?"

"Bella...Please..." I looked at Edward's face, he was literally pleading for me, his eyes were pained and coal black, and he was grasping the sheets with his pale white hands. Anthony was sleeping now.

"Well, when I was 18, 19 and 20." I whispered, not wanting to keep eye contact with him, see his disappointment.

"Why?" He sounded like he had been strangled.

"Well, when I was 18 it was for recreational purposes; extreme sports were my thing," I smirked, "When I was 19, well I was in a very bad place for a very long time. I just wanted a way out," I rubbed Anthony's back soothingly. "And when I was 20 to save my little brother."

"You tried to kill yourself? What stopped you?" He was closer to me now.

"Your sister. Now, I have had a long day. So I would like to be left alone now," I told him, he nodded and left the room, turning the lights out as he went.

I took deep breaths and wiped the tear that had escaped my eyes. The sleeping form on my stomach lightly under the covers, he looked so peaceful. I stroked a few stray hairs out of his face and kissed his nose. I wish my life was as easy as his... and I wish more than anything that things were different...


End file.
